Ngaba uye wacinga ukuba ndichitha ixesha elininzi kunye nabalingane kunye nabalingane kunabantwana bam kunye nabahlobo? Eyesibhozo okanye iiyure ngaphezulu ngosuku kufuneka siphile ecaleni (njengalapha embhedeni) kunye nabaphathi, oogxa, abaphantsi, ngelixa iqabane, abantwana, abazali, izilwanyana zifumana amaxesha angama-4 ukuya kwiiyure ezingama-5, ngexesha elinye ngendlela ephakamileyo. Ngaba awucingi ukuba ishedyuli esinjalo sisebenza kakhulu? Mhlawumbi, yikho kutheni abaninzi banothando ubudlelwane bawela kwiimvanoveli ezisemthethweni. Kwaye nangona kunjalo ukuba wonke umntu uyaqonda - izimo zengqondo zingalimaza zombini umsebenzi ngokwawo, kunye nomsebenzi okanye idumela lomntu. Nangona kunjalo, awukwazi ukuyalela intliziyo yakho. Yintoni endiyenzayo xa ndithandana emsebenzini? Qala i-romance yenkonzo okanye uhambelane nekhowudi engaqinisekanga: "Musa ukulala, usebenza phi!"?
Intetho yeenkonzo, okanye iRoma, eyabonakala ibali
Iqela le-Nautilus-Pompilius linomculo ngala mazwi: "Wafunda le ncwadi, waza waba ibali." Zingaphi ziba zifanelekileyo kubasetyhini abagqibayo kwi-romance yenkonzo. Iingcali zengqondo zisesigxina sazo zonke iinkqubo apho abafazi beqala iireveli ezingasebenziyo emsebenzini kwaye beza kunyango ngeempembelelo ezingafanelekanga, intsapho ephukileyo, umsebenzi owonakalisiweyo, ukuxoshwa emsebenzini, njl. Nangona kunjalo, nangona kunjalo iincwadi zesevisi zingaphelisa, i-aura ye-romance iya kuhlala ihamba nabo. Akukho nto engenamsebenzi kwaye kungenakuncedo ukuzisa iinkcukacha ezibuhlungu zobudlelwano obusondelene nabo, upende ngazo zonke iingozi zabo kunye nemiphumo emibi. Iiveli zesebenzayo zazi, kwaye ziza kuba! Iingcali zengqondo ziphela nje iingcebiso kwihlabathi lonke: ukuqonda ngokucokisekileyo kunye nokuzibandakanya ngokuzimeleyo kwimicimbi yothando kumsebenzi, ukwenzela ukuba kula mabudlelwane kwakungekho ndawo yokugwenxa. Ngaphambi kokugqiba ukubonisa ingqalelo kumntu osebenza naye okanye uphendule ekuthandweni kwakhe, kubalulekile ukuba uziqonde ngokucacileyo izizathu ezilungileyo ezikhokelela umnqweno wokutshata nomqeshwa:- Ukuphakama phakathi kwezizathu ezibangela ukuba uthando luthandane emsebenzini, ukungabikho kobudlelwane obusondeleyo okanye ukungabikho kwesini esifanelekileyo. Oku kusebenza kumabhinqa angatshati kunye nabatshatileyo. Ukwenza isigqibo sokungena kwi-intanethi-ulwalamano lomtshato, le sizathu kufuneka sisuswe kuqala. Zibuze imibuzo: yiyiphi ngokubhekiselele ekubhekeleni kule nxu lumano, kwaye ungayidibanisa uthando kunye nendlala yesondo? Ukuba injongo yakho isondo ngaphandle kwembopheleleko, qhubeka phambili! Into ephambili, qiniseka kuwe, kunye nekhethiweyo.
- Ubuhlobo obuninzi bobudlelwane emsebenzini bubambene ngenxa yokungabikho koqhagamshelwano kunye nokungabikho kokhenketho kwezenkcubeko. Kwimfuneko yabafazi, abahlala kwindawo yokuphila esicacileyo, abadwebe ngeyure nganye, epheleleyo yimiba ecwangcisiweyo, iintlanganiso okanye ukutyelela. Bakholelwa ukuba umsebenzi kwaye ngoko kuthatha ixesha elide "ukuzisa" ubomi bakho. Emva kokuba usombulule ingxaki ngokuzilibazisa nokuzibonela ngaphandle komsebenzi, uya kwandisa isangqa sakho soqhagamshelwano kwaye uya kukwazi ukuba le nto "esebenzayo" uthando imfuneko ngokwenene kuwe.
- Ukuxhomekeka kokuzithemba kukunye isizathu esivakalayo seveli kunye nabalingane emsebenzini. Kwimabhinqa, inokuba yindoda engaphelelanga, "ingeyona imveliso" ubudala, ukuyila okungabonakaliyo kwindlela yokubukeka ngayo, ubunzima, njl njl. Lezi zinto zinciphisa kakhulu amathuba omfazi kwiimarike zothando, kwaye indawo yodwa apho angalungiselela khona ubomi bomntu. Abantu baseWilly-nilly banyanzeliswa ukuba bathethe ngokusondeleyo, benemisebenzi eqhelekileyo yokusebenza, okungaqinisekiyo kubasondeza. Kule meko, abafazi basoloko bengabathandani kwindoda ethile, kodwa kwiingcamango ezithwalayo kwiimbono zabo namaphupha. Ngenxa yoko - ithemba elingenakulungiswa, uthando oluphukileyo kunye nezakhiwo ezintsha. Ngoko ke, ukuba uthanda umntu osebenza naye kwaye ufuna ukuba nobuhlobo naye, jonga emva kwakhe - ngaba kukufanelekile ukuba uphenduke kwabanye abantu? Ukuba akunjalo, mhlawumbi lixesha lokuzithemba?
Kuthiwani ukuba kunzima ukumelana ne-romance yesevisi?
Iingcali zengqondo zikwacebisa ukuba ulawule esi siqhamo esingavumelekanga, ukuba ungananto yokukunika. Kodwa musa ukugijimela echibini ngentloko yakho. Okokuqala, ulinganise yonke ingozi kwaye ufunde imithetho yokukhusela ukuze ungangcwatyelwa phantsi kwee-shards kwizinto eziphosakeleyo:- Khumbula umgaqo obalulekileyo wothando lwenkampani: musa ukulala nomntu onokukutshisa, kunye nomntu onokutshisa.
- Bala iziphumo ezikhoyo kwaye uvumele iingqondo ezigqithiseleyo - ngaba ulungele imeko enjalo. Ukuba ewe, vumela ukuba ukhulule. Vumela ukuba ujabulele uthando olusemthethweni!
- Yabelana nothando nomsebenzi. Uthandane lwakho lomtshato lungathinteli nomsebenzi, kwaye ungasebenzi xa "wenza uthando".
- Yinakekele inkonzo yakho yothando ngokuhleba. Yigcine ixesha elide kunokwenzeka ekusithekeni, nangona unomntu okhululekile kwaye unokukwazi ukufumana olu lwalamano.
- Unganiki izizathu zokuhleba. Ukukrazula ekamelweni lokubhema okanye ngesondo kwidesksi ibali elikhulu kubenzi befilimu, kodwa kungabi ngegama lakho loshishino. Ukuba nomnye nomnye kungathathi hlangothi kwaneziganeko zenkampani.
- Ukuba kwenzeka ukuba uthandane nomlingane otshatileyo okanye utshatile, musa ukuvuma ukuba uxhulumano lomtshato, nangona kwenzeka ukuba uxolisa ngabasebenzi. Le yile shishini lakho, enelungelo lokungaxoxani nabani na.
- Kwi-romance yenkonzo kunye nezicwangciso ezide, yonke into ingaphela kumtshato. Kodwa lo ulwalamano oluhluke ngokupheleleyo kwaye, mhlawumbi, ukuba uwasindise, omnye wenu uya kufuneka ashiye phantsi. Ulungele?
- Kwakhona kwenzeka ukuba uthando, ozalwe kwindawo yokusebenzela, lufa ngalo. Ngako oko kusebenza njani? Ukuba ukuxothwa akunakwenzeka, kuya kufuneka ufunde ukuba ngumntu ongathandekiyo-ongathandekiyo-ungayithandi, kodwa ungayithandi. Kuya kuhlambalaza ukuba ubudlelwane obwenqatshelwe buya kuba yipropati emva kokuba sele bephelile.