Makhe sibone umzekelo, umfazi oneminyaka engama-35 ubudala uthi utshatile umntu oneminyaka engama-30. Ngaphambi komtshato, badibana neminyaka eyi-10. Njengoko umfazi uthe, banalo ubudlelwane obuhle kakhulu, kodwa kukho enye "kodwa" - unina womyeni wakhe umqhubela nje. Ulawula umyeni wam njengenkwenkwana. Kwimeko nganye, ujika kuye, kwaye ngokuthobela uyathobela aze ahlasele. Ukuba umyeni akavumelani nento ethile, uyamemeza, kwaye uyayivumela. Njalo naxa ndiza kulala kunye nomyeni wam, into eyenzeka kunina kwaye zonke izicwangciso zonakaliswe, "kusho umfazi.
Eli bhinqa uziva elahliwe, kuba umyeni wakhe uhlala emxosha kunye nabantwana eceleni, enze okuthile kunina. Ngokuqinisekileyo kukuhlonela umama kwaye uzama ukumnceda, kodwa ngokwenza oku, utshabalalisa umtshato wentsapho yakhe, loo mfazi ufuna ukuba athathe iintonga ezandleni zakhe, kwaye ekugqibeleni uyaba ngumntu. Kwaye ngamnye umfazi kule meko ucinga ukuba:
- kutheni le ndoda ingenakuthi cha, bambi ngamanye amaxesha;
- kutheni unina unamandla ngaphezu kwendoda yam?
- kwaye unokucinga ukuthini ukwahlula ezi zimbini omnye komnye ukuze uqale ukwakha ubomi bakho kunye?
Ngoko, kumbuzo othi "Ngubani endatshata naye," ngunyana wamama "okanye kumntu", impendulo mhlawumbi ayiduduzi, kodwa iholele ekucingeni.
Impendulo - yeka ukwenza zonke iintlobo zezizathu zokuzimela kwaye uvume ukuba umyeni wakho unyana ka-mama, kuba wena ngokwakho umvumela ukuba abe njalo. Le ngxaki yakho. Inyani kukuba umama wakhe wamisela imilinganiselo kunye neemfuno kuye, kwaye umfazi wakhe akazange ayenze.
Indoda yokwenene ilungile kwaye iyavuya ukuhlala ngemithetho yakho xa bayamazi, kwaye uyaqiniseka ukuba xa elandela le mithetho, uya kwenza ukuba intombi yakhe ethandekayo ibe nemihlali.
Ngako oko, ukususela ekuqaleni kobudlelwane bakho, kufuneka ubeke imithetho kwaye uqinisekise ukuba indoda iyababambelela. Ngaphandle koko, uya kulandela imithetho yomama.
Unina wayengowokuqala umfazi ukuba amxelele into yokumelana nayo, kwaye kungenjani; ukuba wamxelela ukuba ahambe nini ekhaya, uhlambe izandla ngaphambi kokutya, ukukhusela udadewabo, kwaye uhlale uphulaphule kwaye uyamthemba umama wakhe, ucinge ukuba yintoni le nkwenkwana eya kuyenza? Ngoko uya kulandela le mithetho, kuba akayi kumthobela unina, kodwa ngenxa yokuba uyamthanda. Ngexesha elide, imithetho yomama yakhe ifanelana nobudala bakhe, kwiimeko, kwaye akaze asuke kule mifuno - kunye nendodana yakhe, ukuba uyayikhathalela, inothando, ayiyi kubuya kubo, kwaye iya kuhlonipha, ukukhusela, ukungawuthandi ngokungathandabuzekiyo nokubonelela ngomfazi, eyamnika ubomi.
Imithetho ephambili yomyeni wakhe
Kuya kuba yifumana umfazi oyingqondi oya kumthanda aze amthande, ngubani oya kukwazi ukumisela iimfuno kunye nemithetho yobudlelwane. Imithetho ephambili yile:
- Ndi hlonele.
- Abantwana bethu kunye nam ngaphezu kwamanye emva koThixo.
- Chaza kubo bonke abantu esinxibelelana nabo, ukuba bafanele bahlonele kunye nolwalamano lwethu.
Ukuba awuzange ubeke imithetho yolwalamano lwakho, ngoko umntu uyazi njani ngemilinganiselo yobudlelwane bakho, akakwazi ukufunda iinjongo kwaye uya kuphila kwiimfuno kunye nemithetho yomntu ozifakile, oko kukuthi unina. Akunjalo ukuba unina uzama ukugcina umyeni wakho, kodwa ukuba awuzange uthathe iimbombo zikaRhulumente ezandleni zakho.
I heroine yebali lethu iminyaka elishumi yayisetyenziswe kunye nokunyanzeliswa kakubi komkhwekazi wakhe, mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba wayeyika ukuba umyeni wakhe uyamshiya aze akhethe unina ukuba uqala ukuqhuba umda phakathi komama wakhe nendodana yakhe. Nangona kunjalo, amadoda aziphatha ngokungafaniyo, ukuba umntu uyakuthanda, kwaye nokuba uyena mntu uyinyani, uya kufumanisa indlela eya kubangela ukuphikisana phakathi komfazi noninazala.
Qaphela ukuba awuncintiswana nomama wakhe otshintshile i-diapers yakho kumyeni wakho, owaziyo kwaye unokupheka ukutya okuthandayo, owaziyo ixesha elide kwaye elungileyo kunalo. Awukwazi ukuma phakathi kwonyana wakho nonina ukuba uthanda unina.
Ukunyaniseka, kulunge ngakumbi ukwakha ubudlelwane nomntu ohloniphayo nothando lwakhe kunomntu odelela unina kwaye ngubani, mhlawumbi, akanako ukulwa nobudlelane kunye nentombi.
Ngokwemvelo, unokubambisana nomntu kunye nonina, kwaye ngexesha elifanayo ulawule oko unokugcina phantsi kolawulo ngenkathi usebenzisa amandla akho ukuseka imigaqo kunye nemigangatho ozoyiqwalasela xa ubini usakha intsapho yakho.
Endaweni yokukhathazeka malunga nokuba waphinda wakushiya kunye nabantwana waza wagijima waya kumama phakathi kobusuku, vuka emnyango wokulala wathi: "Ndiyazi indlela oziva ngayo ngunyoko, ndiyazi ukuba uyamthanda kwaye uya kwenza konke akucelayo, kodwa ukuba uyaphinda uphoshele kunye nabantwana ukuze ndincede ukuhambisa i-wardrobe kude ayamkelekanga kum. Ukuba uhamba ngoku, hlala khona ubusuku bonke. "
Kule meko, uya kumxelela malunga nemigangatho yakho, ngoko ufuna ukuhlala kunye nokukhetha okwangoku kuye, unokuya okanye achazele unina ukuba akakwazi ukuza namhlanje, kodwa uya kubiza ngomso. Ngeke ukwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo nezenzo zomyeni wakho nonina, kodwa unokulawula iimvakalelo zakho kunye nokulindela kumadoda akho.
Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane bakho kuphakamisa umbuzo malunga nokuba awufuni ukuncintisana nonina kwaye akafuni ukuvuka phakathi kwabo, ngoko kufuneka axelele unina ukuthi:
- Iimfuno zomfazi wakhe, umtshakazi akufanele abekwe ngasemva;
- Kumele ahloniphe iimfuno zonyana ukuba abe ngumcebisi kunye nomkhuseli womfazi othandekayo, owamkhetha njengomlingane ebomini bakhe.
Yintoni ayenywenzelwe ngumfazi?
Yonke indoda yangempela idinga umfazi othandekayo ngaphandle komama, kwaye uyayiqonda le nto. Kwakhona uyaqonda ukuba ukuba ufuna ukuba nobuhlobo obuzinzileyo, obumnene kunye obuhlala kunye nomfazi, kufuneka adume intambo yomnxeba edibanisa yena nonina. Waba ngumntu omdala kunye nenkxaso ayifumana kunina: izindlu, izambatho, imfundo, ukunakekelwa, njl., Kufuneka ziphele.
Ufuna ukumxelela ngqo into oyifunayo ukuqinisekisa ukukhusela wena kunye nabantwana bakho, uncedise ukuphakamisa, ubenzele umzekelo wabantwana, ukuba abe yinhloko yale ntsapho. Ukuba uthe njenjalo, imigaqo yakho kunye neemfuno ziya kudla ngokugqithiseleyo iimfuno zikamama.