Abazali bentsha kufuneka baqonde:
- utshintsho ngokukhawuleza kwimeko yomntwana;
izinto ezingaqhelekanga;
- indlela yokuziphatha;
- itekisi elitsha;
- ngamanye amaxesha ngamabomu aphumelelanga ngamabomu.
Abazali kunye nabaselula, ukuze baphumelele kwimpilo yobutsha, kufuneka babe neengcamango ezilungileyo zokusombulula iingxaki kunye neemeko ezibucayi zeli xesha.
Akunakwenzeka ukuxazulula iingxaki zobusana ngaphandle kobunzima. Ngelo xesha, umntu ngamnye kwintsapho yabanye uqala ukubona kwindlela entsha, ngoko ke wonke umntu kufuneka aphinde adibane. Ngaba le nqanaba liza kudlula ebomini bakho kuxhomekeke kwinto enokutshatyalaliswa kwintsapho-ukwesaba okanye uthando.
Bonke abazali bayalindela ngokukhawuleza ukusondela kwebantwana babo. Injabulo yabo ibangelwa zizikhumbuzo zobutsha babo, kunye neendaba ezibuhlungu malunga nokuxilwa kweziyobisi, ukusela utywala, ukuguquka ngokwezesondo, ukunyaniseka kwezocansi, ubuhlanga obungalunganga kule minyaka.
Isisombululo seengxaki ezincinci kunye ezinzulu zixhomekeke ekubeni ngaba siyazi izilungiso zokusombulula ezi ngxaki. Ukuba siyazi indlela yokuphuma kule meko, isiqingatha somcimbi sele senziwe.
Jonga umntwana wakho uze ufumane ukuba zeziphi izenzo ezintle ezenziwa ngezandla zakhe, kwaye ungakulibali ukumdumisa nokumxelela ukuba uyathanda naziphi izenzo zakhe nezenzo zakhe.
Ukuqhutywa kwamandla.
Utshintsho olwenzeka emzimbeni womntwana osemtsha luhlanganiswa nokuqhuma kwamandla. Ngaloo mandla kuyimfuneko ukuphatha ngokucophelela, kufuna iindlela ezinokuthenjwa, ezinokuthenjwa. Kuyiluncedo kakhulu ukwenjenjalo ukwenza umzimba, oko kukuthi, ukudlala imidlalo. Abaselula banemiphefumlelo. Abahlali bemihlali, ngabantu abaqhelekileyo abazama ukufunda indlela yokuphila kwihlabathi elidala, kodwa abanakho ukuzithemba ngamakhono abo.
Abadala mhlawumbi baninzi babethusa ngamandla kunye nemisebenzi yabaselula. Abazali abaxhamlileyo nabanoyikayo bajikeleza abantwana babo ngokuthintela. Kodwa kulo mzekelo, okuchaseneyo kuyimfuneko. Iintsholongwane kufuneka zibonise iindlela zokusebenzisa amandla abo ngobuchule. Ngelo xesha, kubalulekile ukuba baqonde kwaye bathande abazali babo.
Kuphela xa umntu ephathwa njengomntu kwaye uyamxabisa, ngoko kuphela, umntu unokulindela utshintsho lokwenene.
Ukubeka isiseko sokutshintsha kwexesha elizayo kulwalamano nolutsha , ungabonisa oku kulandelayo:
Wena ungumzali.
1. Ukuze umntwana akwazi ukukuqonda, kufuneka uchaze ngokucacileyo kuye ukwesaba nokwesaba.
2. Umele ubonise oko uhlala ukulungele ukuphulaphula nokuqonda. Kodwa ukuqonda akuthethi ukuxolela. Ukuqonda kunokudala isiseko esiqinileyo, kwesi sizathu kuya kubakho ukwakha ubudlelwane kunye nentsha ezayo.
3. Kufuneka uqonde ukuba umntwana osemva akasadingeki ukuba alandele icebiso lakho.
Usemncinci.
1. 1. Kufuneka uthethe ngokunyanisekileyo malunga nento eyenzekayo kuwe, wenze njalo ukuze ukholelwe.
2. 2. Kufuneka uxoxe ngokutya kwakho kwaye wazi ukuba uya kuphulaphula ngaphandle kokugwetywa nokugxeka.
3. Ufanele uchazele abazali oko ufuna ukuphulaphulwa, kodwa abazange banikele iingcebiso uze ubabuze ngazo.
Abaninzi abantu abadala kunye nolutsha lwabo bazama ukuba "bluff", oko kukuthi, babonisa ukuba bayazi kakuhle kule ngxaki, kodwa ngokwenene oku akunjalo. Musa ukwenza ngale ndlela, kuba kwiimeko ezininzi iintsholongwane zivakalelwa nokuba buxoki.
Abazali bafanele bavume ngokunyanisekileyo ukungakwazi kwabo nokungazi, kunye nolwalamano oluthembekileyo kunye nentombazana inokuvela kuphela kule meko.
Iintsholongwane kunye nabazali banokubambisana ngokusekelwe kwiminqweno efanayo.
Masinike umzekelo. Le nkwenkwe yayingahambi esikolweni. Abazali abazange bamthobele, kwaye banoyikisayo. Abazali ngokwabo abanalo imfundo epheleleyo, kwaye bafuna ukwenza nantoni na, kodwa ukuba unyana uyifumene. Okokuthi, babefuna ukumnika into awayeyifumana yona ngokwayo. Ngabo, umsebenzi we-psychotherapeutic waqhutyelwa, ngexesha apho kuthemba khona ithemba phakathi kwonyana kunye nabazali. Kwaye wonke umntu unenjongo efanayo - loo nkwenkwe kufuneka ifumane imfundo. Kwaye ukwesaba kwabazali kwacaca kwonyana, waqala ukuzithemba kwaye wathumela yonke imizamo yakhe yokufunda, kodwa kungekhona ngenxa yokuba wayephoqelelwe ukuba akwenze, kodwa ngenxa yokuba wayefuna ukufunda.
Imithetho yomdlalo.
Ukukhula, ulutsha lukulindele iingcebiso ezilumkileyo kubazali babo, kodwa oku kufuna ukuzithemba. Umntwana akayi kuba nethemba labo baxhamla naye. Ukunyaniseka nokunyaniseka kubaluleke kakhulu. Abantu abadala abavunyelwe ukuwela ubudlelwane abathile kunye nabantwana. Wonke umntu kufuneka azi indawo yawo. Ukongeza, wonke umntu kufuneka ahloniphe imigaqo yoluntu. Ngamnye wethu kufuneka abe nelungelo lobomi bakhe.
Abantu abadala, ukuze bafumane intlonelo kubantwana abaselula, mabazalisekise izithembiso zabo. Ukuba awuqinisekanga ukuba unokuzalisekisa isithembiso sakho, ungawunikeli. Ekubeni xa uphulaphula izithembiso zakho, kungenzeka ukuba umntwana uya kusuka kuwe aze ayeke ukukuthemba.
Umbutho weontanga.
Intombazana ikhetha uluntu lwabahlobo bakhe. Oku kuyinto engokwemvelo kwaye ayithethi ukuba uyalahla okanye uyishiye intsapho yakhe. Iontanga ngeli xesha lidlala indima enkulu ebomini kwintshumi engama-20. Ngoko ke, unina noyise kunye nabahlobo babantwana babo kufuneka bafumane ulwimi olufanayo, kwaye bayeke ukubeka iliso rhoqo umntwana wabo. Abazali bafanele babe ngabafundisi abazizilumko kumntwana, ohlala ekulungele ukumnceda. Kwaye kulo mzekelo, unako ukugcina inhlonipho kunye nolwalamano olufudumeleyo komnye nomnye.
Ukuba umntwana usethemba, ngoko uya kwenza konke okusemandleni akho. Kodwa ukuba ulwalamano lwakho alusebenzi, ngoko awukwazi ukufezekisa nantoni na ngeemfuno zakho, kodwa kuphela phakathi kwakho kuza kubonakala udonga olungenakunqandwa lokuhlukanisa nokungaqondi.
Abafana banxulumene njani neengxaki zabo.
"Ndifuna omnye umntu, ngaphandle kokugxeka, angayilaphula aze ancede ndiqonde. Ndifuna izandla ezithandekayo eziya kundiqinisekisa. Ndifuna indawo apho ndinga kulila khona. Kwaye ndifuna umntu oza kuhlala ekhona. Ukongezelela, ndifuna umntu ocacileyo kwaye ngokukhawuleza athi "Yeka! ". Kodwa abantu akufanele ba ndikhumbuze ubuchopho bam kwaye bafunde iintetho. Ndiyazi ngabo kwaye ndiziva ndinezono. "