Ngokwezibalo, malunga nekota yeesetyhini abaneminyaka engama-30 ukuya ku-35 ubudala bayenqaba umtshato kunye nobudlelwane bexesha elide. Akubalulekanga kakhulu oko kwabakhokelela kwisigqibo esinjalo, amava angaphambilini, ukwesaba ubudlelwane obusondeleyo okanye ukukhangela ixesha elide loqabane olungekhoyo, kodwa bathi: "Ndikhetha ukuhlala yedwa!" Kufanelekile ukungongeza: kweli nqanaba lobomi.
Izizathu ezi-7 zokuba zodwa
Kuthetha ukuthini ukuba yedwa? Masihlole amathuba apho ixesha lokuphila lisinika ngaphandle komlingane. Yintoni onokuyenza ngexesha?
Yazi omnye nomnye
Iingcali zengqondo ziqinisekile: ubomi "ngaphandle kwesibini" kuqala kunye nentlanganiso kunye ne "I". Ukuxhalaba ngumthombo omkhulu wolwazi nokuzihlakulela. Ukuba yedwa kunye nomnye, kulula ukuva loo ngqungquthela yangaphakathi, edla ngokugqithiswa ngamazwi abantu abangazi nje kuphela, kodwa nabo bantu abasondeleyo. Singabantu babini bezinto kunye noqhagamshelwano yinto ebaluleke kakhulu yophuhliso. Kodwa uluncedo lithuba lokufumana ithuba elihle kakhulu lokuthetha nawe. Ingakumbi xa uziphatha ngothando nangomdla.
Ukuvuya "ngokungavumelekanga"
Abafazi abatshatileyo bavame ukuzivumela ixesha elifutshane lokonwaba. Awukwazi ukuthenga izicathulo ezitsha, kuba uhlahlo lwabiwo-mali lubonwe, akukho xesha lokulala ngentsasa emininzi, ngenxa yokuba usapho ulindele isidlo sakusasa. Ukuhlangana kunye nabahlobo ngesitala seSondo kunye nesiXeko, kufuneka uhambe isoya somamazala. Kwaye njalo, njalo njalo. Ngamanye amaxesha isangqa somsebenzi sele siseleyo kwaye siphumelele ingcamango edabukisayo: kutheni ndihlala ngolu hlobo ukuba andinguye inkosikazi yam? Amakhosikazi azimele azizinyamekele kwaye azicwangcise zabo izilonwabo ngaphandle kokungabaza.
Jabulela intsimi yakho
Kuzo zonke iinjongo. Abantu abade bebudlelane bahlala bekhalaza ngokungabi naso "isikhala somntu siqu", kwaye umfazi oyedwa uyamthanda kwaye uyayithanda "isidleke" kunye nesiseko sakhe. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ejwayele ukuzimela, i-duma yindoda efanelekileyo kumntu okhulileyo, kuba uyayiqonda ukubaluleka kwemikhwa nemida esele ikhona kubantu abadala.
Yenza isangqa sentlalo
Kanye kunye nomlingani ohlala ebomini bhinqa beza kubahlobo bakhe, izalamane, ngamanye amaxesha abantwana. Yaye yedwa, unethuba elihle kakhulu lokukhetha, kunye nobani umgama wokuthetha, ubuninzi bamandla okutyalombela ubuhlobo kunye nokuba ulindele ntoni impendulo. Kwaye, ngeendlela, kunokufumana ixesha elaneleyo loqhagamshelwano, kuba ukudibanisa ubudlelwane obubambeneyo kuthatha amandla amaninzi kunye namandla.
Qala ubudlelwane obutsha
Ubomi bomntu obomntu okhethileyo ukhetha indlela yokuphila ngaphandle komlingani osisigxina unokuhlakulela ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Mhlawumbi i-heroine isithandana, kunokwenzeka ukuba unalo ubudlelwane ngendlela yeentlanganiso zexesha elide kunye namadoda amaninzi. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, uvulekile ulwalamano olutsha kwaye ukhululekile ukuwaqalisa kwaye uqede xa, kubonakala ngathi, ixesha liza. Kulungile ukuba abahlobo abatsha abazalelwe ukuwa ngenxa yesiganeko, kungekhona ukuze "kube", kodwa nje ukuzonwabisa.
Yenza izicwangciso
Kwaye, ke, ngaphandle kokujonga ngombono womntu ukuwuphumeza. Ngokomzekelo, ukuqesha indlu eduze komsebenzi, ngokukhawuleza wehla eholide nomhlobo okanye uqale amakati amathathu - konke oku kulula ukwenza, ukuba akudingeki ukuba ucinge ngombono womntu. Nangona kunjalo, kuyilumkiso ngakumbi - ukukwazi ukuthetha kunye nokufikelela kwisingqinisiso, kodwa kubalulekile kwimpawu zobomi kunye nomkhwa wokuba wedwa unokuguqula ukungabikho kokuxolelana nokunyamezela kumbono womnye umntu.
Jonga kwi-Myshire
Ulunge kwaye ukhululekile kunabo abazi kakuhle ngokwenene, izalamane nabahlobo bayabathanda njengaye, kwaye kungekhona impawu "ezilungileyo". Ionis ichanekile ngokufanelekileyo, kuba unokufumana ukufudumala nokungqwalasela nje kuphela kwindoda esatshatileyo, kodwa nakwabanye abasondeleyo kunye nabahlobo, kunye nesondo akuhlali ngaso sonke isikhathi ukulingana nokujonga izinto ezinzulu kunye nomsindo.
3 iimfihlo zobomi obupheleleyo
- Musa ukujonga izizathu zokuzihlalisa kuwe. "Ndatyebile kwaye andinomntu ontle." Ezi ngcamango ezingavumelekanga. "Ndiyathanda ubomi bam" - kunjalo!
- Yenza into oyithandayo. Abasetyhini, abanomdla ngomsebenzi, ezemidlalo, ubugcisa okanye nayiphi na ishishini, bahlala bevuya, kuba bazalise ubomi babo kuphela, kodwa baya kunceda abanye.
- Musa phantsi nayiphi na imeko ukuchasa uxinzelelo. Oku akuthethi ukuba abahlobo, umama okanye oogxa abaxhomekeke ekunikeni iingcebiso ezixabisekileyo. Yiyo loo nto abaninzi abanomdla wokuba "ukuxhwaba kulukhuni." Ukuba indawo enokuhlala kwaye ihlala iphakamisa le ngxoxo ekuxoxeni, yiba nomusa, itsho ukuba ngelixa uthabatha ixesha.