Iingcali zenzululwazi zikholelwa ukuba ubuxoki bamabanga asekuqaleni, obunomdla obuninzi, luyimpumelelo enkulu ekuphuculweni kwengqondo yomntwana. Amanga ahlelwe ngabantwana abancinci besikolo mababe ngumqondiso wokuqala we-alamu kubazali - umntwana wakho unenkinga. Indlela yokuchazela umntwana ukuba ukuxoka kakubi kwaye uyamncedisa kuloo mkhwa kwikamva.
Kwihlabathi elidala, sisebenzisa igama elixokayo ukuchaza isenzo esiphantsi sokuziphatha. Kodwa ubuxoki babantwana buhlelwa ngokwahlukileyo. Apha, umntu unokukwazi ukwahlula ubuxoki nokuxoka amanga ngenxa yokufezekisa iinjongo zakhe.
Abafundi basesikolweni abacingi ukuba ukuthetha ubuxoki kungenza isenzo esingasifanelanga. Iingcamango zabo zicebile kangangokuthi kaninzi abakwazi ukwahlula phakathi kokunyaniseka kunye neengqiqo. Abantwana banqwenela ukuqulunqa amabali ayenzekayo kubo okanye nakwamanye amalungu omndeni, zizibonele ngabalinganiswa beekhathuni kunye nemidlalo yekhompyutheni, bakha abahlobo abalingani.
Kwiimeko ezinjalo, ubuxoki-buxoki buyimpumelelo enkulu ekuphuculweni kwengqondo kwengane - iingqondo zengqondo zithi. Ubungqina buphawu lophuhliso oluqhelekileyo lwenkulumo kunye nengcamango yomntwana. Ukusasazwa kuya kuba sisiseko sokwakheka kwengcamango yengqiqo yengqondo yomntwana, kwaye ingcamango ivumela umntu ukuba angabonakali kwizinto eziyinyani kunye nokuqonda ngengqondo engaziwayo.
Ingqondo yomntwana isebenza kwindlela ezimbini-ukufunda iinjongo kunye nokudala ingcamango. Ukungena kwilizwe lakhe elimangalisayo, umntwana wenza umzamo wokwenza imfihlo yakhe, ucingo lwakhe lwabazali bakhe, uxela ilungelo lobomi bakhe abucala. Musa ukumgxeka umntwana ngenxa yengcinga yakhe enamandla. Ngokuphambene noko, kufuneka uncede umntwana enze ihlabathi eliyinyaniso elihle. Thetha kumntwana ngeengcamango zakhe, bonisa ukuba ubenze. Ngaloo ndlela, unokomoya unokusondelana nomntwana kwaye uqonde kangcono ihlabathi langaphakathi leengcamango zakhe.
Amanga okucinga ahlukeneyo ngentsingiselo yengqondo kunye nokuziphatha komntwana. Kodwa xa ubandlululo lungabonakaliswa nonke ngabafundi besikolo, ngokuchaseneyo, zibonakaliso lweengcamango zabantwana eziphuhlisiwe, ngoko ke ukutshatyalaliswa kweminyaka emithandathu emva kokuchaphazeleka kungaphazamisa ingqondo yengqondo yomntwana, ngakumbi xa yena ngokwakhe engakwazi ukwahlula inyaniso emanga. Xa umntwana wesikolo-oneminyaka ezisixhenxe eqhubeka ecinga, kuyafaneleka ukuba nencoko enkulu kunye naye.
Umntwana uzalwe kwihlabathi kunye nomnqweno wobulungisa nokulungileyo. Kodwa obomi ubomi, ngelanga, wenza utshintsho kwihambo yakhe. Ngoko ngokusemthethweni wabeka umzabalazo wokusinda kunye nokhuphiswano oluqhelekileyo, oluchaphazela ukuziphatha komntwana - umntwana uzama ukuphucula abanye kwaye ahlale efumana oko akufunayo. Yaye indlela eyona ndlela elula kunokuba yile nkokeli inkohliso. Yaye le yinto enye yezizathu ezinokubangela ubuxoki babantwana. Ngokuqhelekileyo, izazi zengqondo zihlukanisa ezi zinto zimbangela eziyinkohliso zamanga:
Ukulinganisa ukulindela.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, abantwana bawela phantsi koxinzelelo lwethemba lokuba izihlobo zihlala kuzo. Ngaloo ndlela, abazali ngokwabo bangela umntwana ukuba axoke amanga, abonise kuye iimfuno ezingenayo. Umntwana ufuna ukuphila ngokubhekiselele kulindeleke kubadala, ngoko ulala ngokuphathelele impumelelo yakhe. Abazali bafanele bavavanye umntwana wabo kwaye benze iimfuno kuphela kwimida efanelekileyo.
Zithobela.
Umntwana unokuvelisa amabali amanga ukuze ahlonishwe, ukuze azive efunekayo. Kule meko, umntu kufuneka athole ubuncinane isiqingatha seyure imihla ngemihla kuphela yentsana, kwaye nayo yonke indlela ebonisa ngayo umdla wakhe ebomini.
Gweba i sohlwayo.
Umntwana uxoki, kuba uyayika ukuba uya kuhlwaywa. Babengabazali abathi, ngokwenza amanyathelo okugweba, bavusa ukwesaba komntwana nokungafuni ukuvuma ityala labo ngokuthetha inyaniso. Musa ukubuza ngokucacileyo "Ngubani lo owenze le nto?", Ngaloo ndlela kuchukumisa umntwana ukuba axoke. Kungcono ukuchazela inyaniso "Ndiyabona okwenzileyo" kwaye ufuna iindlela zokulungisa umonakalo.
Gwema iimeko ezixinzelelekileyo.
Umntwana ukopela ukufihla iingxaki zeentsapho ezivela ngaphandle (kungekhona ukuchuma kwentsapho, abazali bezonxila, ukungabikho kopapa).
Umzamo wokudibanisa izihlobo.
Xa umntwana eshumayela ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukuxabana komntu omdala, uzama ukubanceda ngokuzimeleyo, eze kwiimeko ezingekho.
Ukwesaba ukungaphumeleli.
Kumntwana kuba lihlazo ngenxa yesenzo, akafuni, malunga naloo mntu ufunde, ngoko ucinga ngeembali. Okufanayo kwenzeka esikolweni xa umntwana engayazi impendulo kuyo nayiphi na umbuzo kwaye uzama ukuphuma.
Ukuxelisa.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, umntwana ufunda ukuthetha amanga kubantu abadala abaxoxela abanye ubuxoki okanye bacele umntwana ukuba athethe umntu ngamanga. Umzekelo: "Xelela uyihlo sihambe ngokuhamba." "Xa unina wakho efika, mxelele ukuba akayi."
Uyazi njani ukuba umntwana ukopela?
Ngokuqhelekileyo abantwana abangekho abanobuchule abanobuchule bokuzifihla ngobuqhetseba ubuxoki babo. Ngako oko, ubuqhetseba bunokulandelwa ekuphatheni komntwana, kuba kukho imiqondiso emininzi eqhelekileyo:
- Utshintsho lwesibonakaliso sombuso, ukubonakala kokunyakaza okungazi;
- Shintsha kwithempo yentetho, wehla ngetoni, u-stutter;
- Ulwaphulo-mthetho, umzamo wokutshintsha isihloko somxholo;
- Ukulahla ngeempendulo.
Ungayinqoba njani ubuxoki bomntwana?
Phantse bonke abantwana bahlala bexela amanga. Umsebenzi wabazali ukugcina umntwana engabonanga, ukuphelisa lo mkhuba ongcolileyo kuye. Ngokuqhelekileyo indlela yokuqala yokuphendula yabazali kumanga wengane yisohlwayo, nangona ihlale inganiki umphumo oyifunayo - umntwana ngokuzayo unokuziguqula ubuxoki bakhe. Ukuze ulwa nobuxoki, kufuneka uqale uqaphele izizathu zayo, uze wenze. Zama ukubona imeko ngamehlo omntwana. Bonisa ukuba silungele ukumxolela.
Ukuphendula kumanga ngokuhambelana nomgangatho wobudala bomntwana. Xa umntwana engeneminyaka engama-6 ubudala, musa ukuphendula ngokukhawuleza, unokuyihlekisa. Kodwa xa kuziwa kubuxoki bokuba umntwana wesikolo, kufuneka ukhulume ngokukhawuleza nomntwana wakho malunga noko kubangelwa ubuxoki kunye nemiphumo engaba nayo. Umsebenzi wakho kukunika umntwana ukuba aqonde ukuba ukuthetha kakubi kwaye ukuxoka kuhlale kubonakala.
Izenzo zakho ngekamva.
1. Ukuphendula ngokuqhaqha ngokuqinileyo, thintela imizwa engaphezulu kunye nezijeziso zomzimba;
2. Isisombululo esisisombululo senkinga: zama ukufumana isizathu sokuxoka kwamanga, kunye nicinge enye indlela yokuphuma kwimeko.
3. Dumisani umntwana xa uthetha inyaniso, ngakumbi xa kufuna umzamo kunye nomzabalazo wangaphakathi kuye.
4. Khumbula ukungabi nasecaleni. Musa ukuphelisa ngokukhawuleza xa ityala lomntwana lingasungulwa. Inokulimaza umntwana kwaye ngokuzayo uza kukubona njengomntu ongalungile.
5. Nika umzekelo omhle. Umntwana unentlonelo kwabanye abantu, ngakumbi xa bemfundisa ukuba athethe inyaniso, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha axoke. Amanga abantwana bafunda kakhulu kubantu abadala.
Musa ukucaphuka xa ubamba umntwana wakho ngamanga. Olu luvavanyo lwakhe lokuqala lwehlabathi elidala. Zama ukufumanisa kunye neenjongo kunye nezinto ezikhokelela ekuxoxeni. Chaza ukuba kwakunokwenzeka ukuphuma kule meko ngaphandle kokukhohlisa. Xa usebenzisa izi ngcebiso ezingentla kwaye ube nengxoxo enengqondo - umntwana wakho akayi kuphinda alale. Emva kwakho konke, umntwana uqala ukungafuneki xa engenakho uthando, ukuqonda, ukunakekelwa, ukunyamekela.
Umkhuba ongapheliyo wokulala ebantwaneni ubizwa ngokuba ngu-Munchausen's syndrome. Kodwa abantwana abanjalo baya kuwela ngokukhawuleza - abantu aba-2-3 ngabantu abayi-10.