Abasetyhini abaninzi bayazibuza ukuba umntu ucinga ukuba impempo yendoda iyisicatshulwa. Oku kungenxa yokuba abafana bathanda ukuthetha ukuba banobuqili kwaye banengqiqo, kufuneka babe nenzululwazi ezichanekileyo, kwaye i-destin yethu, ngokufanelekileyo, yinkalo yoluntu. Ngelo xesha, kubonakala ngathi bafuna ukuba siqaphele kwaye siyiqonde. Kodwa, xa umfana edibana nentombazana enengqiqo, akahlali ehlaziya ingqondo yakhe ngesithunzi. Kwimeko apho, umfana uthi ukhulu kakhulu kuye, okanye uzama ukukholisa loo ntokazi ukuba akayena ohlakaniphile njengoko kubonakala.
Ngoko kutheni abafana becasula ingqondo yabesifazane? Kutheni benza into enjalo impela? Enyanisweni, akubona bonke abantu abakwenza oku. Ngokuqhelekileyo, iingqondo zabasetyhini zibacaphukisa abo baqonda ukuba yena uyisidenge ngokwaneleyo okanye abo bangenanto yokuziqhayisa kodwa ingqondo. Oku kunokuzwakala into engaqhelekanga, kodwa kunjalo. Ingqondo yowesifazane iba yinto engabalulekanga kubo abo ngokwabo ngokwaneleyo okanye abanengqondo ngokuphuhliswayo. Ngokomzekelo, kwenzeka ukuba indoda ayiphume ngaphandle, ayinayo imvakalelo, kwaye ayiyi kuphuma kwisihlwele. Kodwa, uhlakaniphile. Ngoko ke, kwiqela, loo mntu uthanda ukuchoboza wonke umntu onengqondo, ngaloo ndlela ukhangela ingqwalasela. Kakade, akuyena wonke umntu othanda ngayo, kodwa wonke umntu uyamhlonela ngokuba, ngokwenene, ingqondo. Kodwa ke, ngokukhawuleza, kukho intombazana enokukwazi ukukhuphisana naye kwimfazwe yengqondo, kwaye, mhlawumbi, ukuphumelela. Ngokwemvelo, le ntombazana iyacaphukisa. Nangona uthe akathandi abafazi abaziimfama, uthetha into enokuthanda ukuyiqonda kwaye unokuxhasa incoko, kodwa akaphumelelanga ezimbini. Yaye xa iqela liqala ukumbuza imibuzo, apho engayazi iimpendulo, ngoko umfana uyathukuthela aze athi ungakhathazeki ukuba ingqondo yintombi ayikhohlisi kwaye izama ukuhlazisa intombazana. Awufanele ubeke ingqalelo kubantu abanjalo. Ukuba uphatha umfana onjalo ngokuqinisekileyo, okanye ukuba uyamthanda, zama ukuguqulela yonke into ibe yihlaya. Ungakwazi ukuhlala ucelile ngamanye amaxesha ukuze akwazi ukuvayisa kwakhona. Kodwa, ungamvumeli ukuba akuhlambele esidlangalaleni, ukuhlambalaza ingqondo yabesifazane, kwaye ungenzi nto ukuze abantu bakholwe ukuba uyisicwenge.
Kwakhona, ingqiqo yethu ithathwa njengesicatshulwa ngabo bangenakuziqhayisa ngezobuchule kunye nolwazi olukhulu. Amadoda anjalo azama ukufumana abafazi, apho baya kubonakala njengabahlakaniphileyo. Ngoko ke, bangabesifayeli abaziqilileyo kunokuba babi kakhulu kunokuba bahlakaniphile. Kwimeko yokuqala, kunye nomntu ubuncinane ungakhokelela ingxoxo eyakhayo, vumelana nento okanye uqinisekise ngokunika amaqiniso aneleyo. Kwimeko apho ingqondo yomntu ingacacwanga, akunakunceda ukuthetha naye. Akayikukuqonda, kwaye oku kwenza ube nomsindo. Okukulandelayo kulaba bafazi abahlakaniphile abananto. Okokuqala, baxhalabile, kuba iimfuno zabo ngokucacileyo azihambelani, akukho nto yokuthetha ngayo kwaye akukho nto ingayithetha ngayo. Ukongeza, ukubeka ibhinqa endaweni kwaye ungamvumeli ukuba abe ngcono, abafana baqala ukucasula abafazi, bahlazise okanye basebenze ngokwenyama. Ngoko ke, ukuba ubona ukuba umntu unengqondo ngaphezu kwakho kwaye ingqondo yakhe iyicaphukisa kuye, akufanele uqale ulwalamano naye. Nangona ulungile kakhulu, ngexesha elifutshane uya kuqonda ukuba awunomdla kunye kwaye awufuni ukumbona. Kwaye ukuba uqala ukuhlambalaza, ngoko yintoni ekusebenziseni ukunyamezela loo ndoda.
Abanye besetyhini bacinga ukuba kufuneka uyenze ukuba ucebile, ukuthanda abantu. Kukho inyaniso kule nto, kodwa yincinci. Ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka umnike umntu ithuba lokuba uzive njengeqhawe kunye nomkhuseli, yena ngokwakhe onokusombulula zonke iingxaki aze eze nezisombululo. Kodwa, akufanele nanini enze ngendlela enokuzilimaza. Yinto enye xa intombazana ingavumeli umntu ukuba acinge ngantoni kwaye uhlale ekhetha yonke into, kwaye ngokufanayo - xa eyika ukuthetha nantoni na, ngelixa eyazi ukuba umntu wenza ngendlela engafanelekanga kwaye izenzo zakhe zikhokelela kwimiphumo emibi. Umfazi onobuqili uhlakaniphile ngokwaneleyo ukubamba ixesha xa umntu ehlala ethule kwaye xa umntu engasayi kuhlala ethule.
Amadoda angamahlakani abanobuchule abangeke aphethwe yinkcenkceshela engazange azame ukubonisa ukuba le ntokazi iyingcali. Ngokuphambene noko, bayayithanda ingqondo yabesifazane, bayamhlonela into yokuba unokuthetha nentombazana ngokubambisana nayo, ungayifuni amagama kunye neengcamango. Kubantu abanjalo, ukuziqhenya kukuthi intombazana eyintombi okanye intombi. Baqonda ukuba umzekeliso othi "intloko enye intle kwaye ezimbini zibhetele" ziyi nyaniso. Emva komfazi okhaliphile, unokukwazi ukufezekisa ngakumbi, kuba uyazi indlela yokuziphatha kakuhle, unokunceda ukufumana indlela yokuphuma kwimeko, okanye kunye nemizamo yokudibanisa ingxaki. Ngoko ke, ukuba uyintombi ehlakaniphile kunye neyengqondo, ungaluboni njengento eyiyo kwaye ungacingi ukuba abafana banesidenge kuphela. Abo bawafunayo, awufaneleki, kungekhona kuba abafazi abanako ukuqonda, kodwa kuba aba bantu abafuni nje ukuphuhlisa ubuchopho babo. Abayidingi umfazi onobuqili, kuba akayi kuvumela ukuba bazibonele ngeendleko zakhe. Kwaye oko kanye kanye aba bantu bafuna. Ngoko ke, ukuba ungumfazi oqiqayo kunye nengqiqo, ujonge umntu ofanayo kwaye uya kukuxabisa.