Zivumene ngendlela esiyiyo

Ngamnye wethu ubuncinane kanye kanye ebomini bam ubuya kwiintlanganiso ezibalulekileyo - ishishini okanye uthanda - enganelisekanga nam. Kwakhona wathi: "Kwakubalulekile ukuba uzivelele kwisidenge!" Kwaye ndaphendule ndandiva kwizwi langaphakathi: "Wena ke, uluvo lwakho lungcono?" Ngendlela, inyaniso yintoni: ucinga ntoni wena ngokwakho? Ukugxotha ukungathandabuzeki nokuqonda iimfanelo zabo kunye neentlanzi, qalisa ngefantasy. Khawucinge ukuba unentlanganiso nomntu ongaziwayo ofuna ukukuqonda kangcono. Yiba nomusa, ungakhohlisi izinto ezilindelweyo - lungiselela intetho encinane.

Uqala phi
Thatha iphepha kunye namakholamu amabini (ukushiya isikhala esaneleyo phakathi kwabo) bhala i-12 yeziganeko zakho eziphendula imibuzo "Ndingubani na?" kwaye "Ndingubani?" Impawu enye yinto enye, oko kukuthi, izibizo ezithandathu kufuneka zivele kwiikholam yokuqala, kunye nezichasti zesibini. Ekubeni oku kukuzimela, kubalulekile ukukhankanya ezo zinto ezibonakala zikhangelekile kuwe, kunye nezo, nangona zingaphelelanga, ziphuculwe ngenyameko ngawe.

Ngokomzekelo, isethi ingaba: "umlutha", "sissy", "injongo" njalo njalo. Kodwa ukuba ingcamango ikunika ingcaciso engakumbi, ungamkeli. Uluhlu lunokubonakala ngathi: "I-Amazon", "indiza", "intaba yamanzi" njalo njalo. Elandelayo kwimiba nganye evela kwiintlobo zombini bhala ngokuchaseneyo. Akukona ngolawulo lwezinto ezichasayo "uhlobo olushushu olushushu" oluye lwaphoqelelwa esikolweni, kodwa malunga nendlela obona ngayo i-antipode yale mpawu. Musa ukukhawuleza. Zi phu laphule. Ngokomzekelo, ukuchasana "neentsimbi" kunokuthi kube "i-sausage yebhizinisi", mhlawumbi "i-martin". Intsingiselo "impumputhe" umntu uya kuba ne "puddle", kunye nomntu - "ulwandle". Kwaye kunomdla kakhulu ukuba iya kulwa ne "Amazon". Mhlawumbi "inkukhu"?

Kwavela? Mkhulu! Kule nxalenye esele ecocekileyo phakathi kweekholamu, inombolo yeebini, kuxhomekeke kubaluleka besimo sakho kuwe. Inombolo enye kufuneka ibe yona nto ibalulekileyo, ukusuka kwinqanaba lakho lokujonga, inombolo yomgca we-12 - umncinci ochaphazelekayo okwangoku. Ngoku ungathumela ikopi yokuzibonakalisa komntu ongaziwayo-makamfunde. Wajika waya kuye.

Yintoni elandelayo
Unokuthatha iimpawu ezintlanu kuphela zeenkokheli zokuhlalutya, kodwa unganceda uluhlu olupheleleyo uze ubhale abo ukuphunyezwa kwabo kubangela ukuba udideke kakhulu. Bhala iimpawu ezikhethiweyo kwiphepha lawo elihlukeneyo kunye neenkcaso zabo ukuze udwebe umgca phakathi kwezi zibini. Phendula ngokucinga, ngokunyanisekileyo nangokubhetele ekubhaliseni imibuzo elandelayo:

Ngubani uthe (uthe, unokuthi) kubalulekile - ukuba kube njengoko kuchazwe yinto ekhethiweyo? Khumbula konke oya kukukhumbula: umama, intombi, i-psychoanalyst, uCarrie Bradshaw, upapapa, iimagazini ezigubungelayo, amazwi aphumayo entloko - nabani na.

Nguwuphi na amava, amava, aqinisekisile ukubaluleka kwesi siganeko ebomini bakho? Inketho "umama kunye nekwenkwenkwe yamkela ukucoceka kwam" ayihambelani. Thembela kwiimvakalelo zakho. Kubalulekile ukuba ezi ziimeko malunga nawe kwaye uyazuza kwaye uyonwabele.

Kwakhona jonga kule mpawu. Ngaba ufuna ukushiya njengentsingiselo kuwe? Ukuba u-ewe, ngoko umgca ogqityiweyo phakathi kweentshaba, phawula indawo oziva ngayo wena namhlanje kwaye ukhethe igama lakhe. Umzekelo: kumgca phakathi kwe "waterfall" kunye ne "puddles" kunokubakho inqaku elingasenayo impumputhe, kodwa ayiyiyo ipulazi. Mhlawumbi igama lakhe ngumlambo? Okanye umlambo? Ngaba ingaba ngumlambo? Khetha okukhethwa kukho, ukuxhomekeka kwiimvakalelo zabo, kodwa ungavumeli ukuhamba kumgxeki wangaphakathi.

Ukusuka uluhlu lwabuntu obuya kubakho ukubhalisa kule ndawo kubaluleke kakhulu, khetha enye. Akuyimfuneko ukubandakanyeka kwingxoxo-ntetho kunye nomntu oqhayisa kwaye oqinileyo, khetha umntu onokumguqula. Uze ubhale ileta. Inokuthi ibe mfutshane nje njengengqalelo, kodwa kufuneka ifake amaphuzu alandelayo:

1. Ukubulela kumlingani wokuthatha inxaxheba kwisiphelo sakho ("umbulelo, ummelwane, ukuba uqwalaselwe ebomini bam");
2. Ukwamkelwa kwimeko yangoku ("ngoku ndingumlambo, kwaye andiyikuchasene nayo");
3. Ukumisela isikhundla esisebenzayo ("ngokukhawuleza xa ndiva amandla kunye nomnqweno wokutshintsha, ndiya kwenza, kwaye oku kuya kuba ngumnqweno wam nokukhetha kwam").

Lo msebenzi uya kufuneka uyenze nazo zonke iimpawu ezibangele ingqwalasela eyodwa okanye ukunganeliseki ngokuziphatha kwabo. Nokwenziwa ngokukhethekileyo kunye nalabo abangela iimvakalelo ezicacileyo ezinjengekratshi, ukugculela kwaye kuphela ukuqonda ukuzisola xa ukhetha ukuchasana.

Kwaye ke yintoni?
Amava afihla emva kobutyebi "njengesidenge!" Ahlangene nokungahambisani kwakho nemigangatho ethile, uluhlu lwalo luququzelelwe ngokuzenzekelayo entloko kwiimeko ezinengqiqo. Le migangatho ithambekele ekubeni yinto engaphelelekanga, kodwa ayibalulekanga kuwe, kodwa isiphakamiso esiqhubekayo samanani asemthethweni kwimeko (kumntu ungumama, kunye nomntu-ibhulogi edumile). Ngoko, ngokuphishekela iipateni ezifanelekileyo, silahlekelwa yiyo, silahlekelwa yikhono kunye nethuba ngokuthandana, siyamkele njengathi. Kodwa ngobukrakra obukhulu, sizibeka phakathi kwezinto ezimbini (ngokubhekisele koko, zihlala zihlazo ngokubhekiselele ekupheleni), ukuhlela uhlobo lweBetrustean bed. Ewe, ukuthelekisa nento efanelekileyo, siya kuhlala sidaniwe. Kodwa ukuzithengisa yinto engathembekiyo, kukho iindlela ezithandekayo zokuzisa ukuvisisana. Emva kokugqiba umsebenzi ocetywayo, wena, umzekelo, sele uthathe amanyathelo ambalwa ukusuka kwi-neurosis kwaye mhlawumbi-ukufumana ubunikazi bakho. Ukomeleza impumelelo, buyela eluhlu, uphinde uphinde ubenze kwiimpawu ezibalulekileyo kunye nalabo abatsha abafumene igama, khangela indawo yakho phakathi kokuchasene nzima. Andiyi kucetyiswa ukuyeka iinjongo kuzo zonke - oko kutheni encwadini oye wabhekisela kubagxeka bakho, kukho isithembiso senguqu, kodwa kuphela xa kufika ixesha. Nangona kunjalo, ndiyatsho ukuba ukhetho "ukuba, kungekhona ukubonakala" lunciphisa umngcipheko wokudumala, lunikeza inkululeko yokuthetha kunye nenjabulo kuyo, nangona kungaphelelanga ukufezekisa.