Ininzi ngokuqinisekileyo yakuva into enjalo njengobuntu, kodwa kude kunabantu bonke bayazi intsingiselo yaleli gama. Ngoko, yiyiphi into ebalulekileyo, kwaye ibonakala njani kwibudlelwane bomntu nomfazi?
Ubumbano luhlanganiswe ngokugqibeleleyo kwamacandelo amabini. Ingongoma epheleleyo kukuba ezi zimbini zezinto ezifanayo zifani. Umnyama nomhlophe, ushushu kwaye ubanda, ulungile nokubi, uthando luyintondo. Yonke into efika engqondweni, kunye naluphi na ukuchasana - oku kuyinyani. Nangona kunjalo, sinomdla kubumbano, ngoko qwalasela lo mbandela ngokubhekiselele kumzekelo othile.
Yena : ukukhawuleza, ngamanye amaxesha onobuqili, onobukroti, ungabesabi ubunzima, ulungele ukunyathela izidumbu (ukuba ungathathi ngokoqobo) ngenxa yeenjongo zakhe, umfana ongeke angene esikhwameni sakhe, angabetha kwaye uzive eqela elikhulu, njengentlanzi emanzini, ngokuthetha kakuhle abantu. Akayi kumela emthendelekweni kwaye uya kuthumela umntu ongathandanga esihogweni, ngaphandle kokuzama ukuzenzela inkohliso. Akayiqondi imvakalelo kunye nothando kuyo yonke into, akwazi ukuba nokwakha umtshato, kodwa ingqiqo enye iphuhliswe kakuhle-ingqiqo yobunini.
Yena : intombazana enothando, othanda ukufunda iincwadi, ukuhlala kwisitulo seentonga eziphathekayo, ukudweba imifanekiso emihle, engabonakaliyo, ngamanye amaxesha. Akayithandi ukunxibelelana ngokunyanzelana nabantu abangaziwayo, ngokukhawuleza uyakhathala kunye nezihlobo; Uyakuthanda wedwa kwaye akanako ukunyamezela iingxabano, kuba kaninzi akakwazi ukuzimela. Iphupha, ingenangqondo kwaye ikhunjulwa, intombazana ingabonisa umlingiswa wayo kuphela "kubantu" bakhe. Ukuyeka umsebenzi weengxabano kulungele ukunika abo bangakuthandi nhlobo. Umthungo oqhelekileyo.
Bathi : Kubonakala ngathi kukho into efanayo phakathi kwezi zibini. Nqabile njengoko kubonakala ngathi, kodwa abantu abanjalo, abahluke ngokupheleleyo ekugqibeleni, bafanelekile omnye komnye.
a) Ububudenge bobuxoki bendoda, ukungakwazi ukubonisa iimvakalelo zothando kunye nokungabi ncamnye kwintando yesibini kuhlawuliswa izakhono zentombazana zokwakha ubudlelwane bobuhlobo.
b) Inkohlakalo engabonakaliyo kunye nokuvaliweyo kwentombazana eyenziwe yintlanzi yesiqingatha: wonke umntu uyaqonda indlela ehlazisa ngayo ikhowudi, bobabini abantu bathule, kwaye ukuba intombazana engayazi into yokuthetha, amagama aya kufumaneka kumfana.
c) Ziya kuthini na aba bantu ababuthathaka kwipango elimnyama xa ukuhlasela kweGopnik? Baya kubethwa, baya kuthatha zonke izinto baze bawanciphise. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba umntu uyakwazi ukuzimela yena kunye nentanda yakhe, i-Gopnik ayiyi kuhlala imanzi. Ngakulo mkhuseli onjalo, intombazana encinane, engaqhelekanga iya kuhlala ivakalelwa njengodonga lwamatye.
d) Ekubeni intombazana ingahambi ngeeklabhu kwaye ayichitha yonke imininingana yamahhala kunye nabahlobo bayo, loo mfana akafanele abe neentloni aze aphinde aphinde abe nomsindo ngenxa yesikhwele (khumbula i-proprietorship ephucukileyo, ewe?), ngenxa yokuba amaninzi umthandi wakhe uya kuba ekhaya, kunye naye, kunye nomthandayo.
e) Loo mntu uya kuhlala ehlaziyekile intombazana eyayiqalile, kwaye ayiyi kungena ebudeni obude nebuhlungu. Ewe, nangona wayenomdla, akayi kumnika isifungo, kodwa uya kuhlala ekwazi ukucoca intanda yakhe, ngelixa ebonisa ukuzonwabisa.
e) ... kunye nakwi-vice versa-xa isalathiso siqala esidlangalaleni, apho umfana ethatha inxaxheba, intombazana iya kukwazi ukucima umlilo ovuthayo, ukunyamezela kunye nokuzola iindlela zezilwanyana zomthandi wakhe, ukuphepha ukuhleka okungadingekile kwicala lomfana.
Imizekelo inokunikezwa okuninzi, echaphazelekayo kokuthandana kunye nobuhlobo, kwaye bonke babilisa phantsi ukuba abantu ababini, ngokuchasene ngokupheleleyo, bahambelane ngakumbi kunabantu ababini abanempawu zengqondo jikelele. Kucacile ukuba apha akuthathwa njengeluthando lweqela lomculo okanye uhlobo lwe-cinema, ubume bubhekisela ngqo kwi-subconscious, psychology kunye neemvakalelo. Bonke bakubonile ukuba kulo mzekelo ungentla akukho nto malunga nomculo okanye ukhetho lwenkanuko?
Ngoko ke, ukuba sinokubaluleka konke oku ngasentla: musa ukukhawuleza ukuphula umntu oye, ngokwazo iimpawu zengqondo, uhluke kakhulu kuwe. Ukwahluke ngakumbi kunalo kumntu wakho, ukuziphatha kunye nezinye izakhiwo zomntu, uphelele ngokugqithiseleyo omnye komnye, ukuqonda oku oku akunakwenzeka njalo.