Kukho izizathu ezininzi zokutshatyalaliswa kwamanye amazwe. Kwabanye, le ntshabalalo ivuyisa nje. Omnye umona wokuthi yonke into ilula kakhulu ekudaleni ubudlelwane belizwe langaphandle. Kwaye umntu ufuna nje ukuba umntu aziva ngayo. Kodwa, nangayiphi na imeko, ukutshatyalaliswa okunjalo kunomphumo. Kwimvakalelo yabanye abantu, asiboni kakhulu. Ukwakha ubudlelwane nomntu, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba kuyacetyiswa ukuba bonke benze okuthile.
Yintoni enokusenza sibonakalise into eyenziwe ngumntu. Into yokuqala eyayiza engqondweni ingumona. Ewe, le mvakalelo yinto ebangela ukuba umntu afune ukuphazamisa oko kwakhiwa ngabanye. Iqala njengomntwana. Xa abantwana bakha iinqaba zentlabathi, abanye bayabaleka baze bachithe abanye, njengoko izakhiwo zabo zingabonakali. Emva koko abantu abanjalo bakhula, kodwa umnqweno wokuphanga oko azingenzi ngokwabo awunakunyamalala. Oku kubangela ukuba umntu uchitha ubomi kwabanye. Kule meko akukho zizathu zokuziphatha okunjalo. Kwaye ukuba umntu uyaqaphela ukuba unomona kwaye ngoko uzama ukuphazamisa ubuhlobo bomntu, yindlela yokuphela yokuhlalutya kunye nokukwazi ukutshintsha yonke into kuye. Xa ubuhlungu bomona buvela emphefumlweni, indlela yokuphela yindlela yokuzihlalutya. Futhi ungazami ukuqonda ukuba kutheni abanye bangcono. Ufuna nje ukuqonda into esenza ngayo iphosakeleyo kwaye yintoni eyona yaholela ngqo kule meko. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuziphatha kwethu okubangela ukuba ubomi abuhlali. Senza iimpazamo ezininzi ezingatshintshwa kwaye zibe ngcono. Simele sikhumbule ukuba asithandwa, de kube siziva ngathi. Ngoko ke, kufuneka nje uzame ukuqeda ukusilela. Ukuba umona ubangele ukuba umntu uhle, kwaye ngoko uyayithanda, kufuneka uzinakekele. Kukho iindlela ezahlukeneyo. Oku kubandakanya ukuhamba, i-aerobics kunye nokufaneleka, ukunyusa izinwele kunye namaziko okucoca. Ewe, unokuba nomona nje ukuba umntu uhle kakhulu. Kodwa akuyi kubakho nantoni na. Ulwalamano olubi phakathi kwabantu aluyi kuvuyisa umntu. Nangona kubonakala ngathi, ukubhubhisa ubomi babanye, umntu uya kuba ngcono, umva wokuzonwabisa, eqinisweni, uya kuhlala kuphela iintsuku ezimbalwa. Emva koko ukunyamezela kuya kudlula kwaye kuya kubakho ukuziva kungabalulekanga kunye nomsindo emehlweni abo bahlala bebhetele kwaye banandipha. Ngoko ke, ukuba iimvakalelo zabanye zibangele umona, kunokuba zibhubhise, kungcono nje ukuzenza uziqhelise, ulungele, ube nesibindi okanye ube nesibindi. Kwaye ke ihlabathi liya kuba mnandi, kwaye ubomi buyavuya.
Esinye isizathu sokutshatyalaliswa kolwalamano lwabanye kukuqonda ukuba abantu bayakhohliswa kwaye bacasulwa. Kule meko, ngokuchaseneyo, siyakukhokelwa yimvakalelo enhle kakhulu, kodwa asiqondanga ngaso sonke isikhathi. Kufanelekile ukukhumbula ukuba xa umntu ethanda, akakwazi ukuphulaphula iingcamango ezivakalayo, nokuba ngaba zininzi ezaneleyo kunokuziphatha kwalo mntu. Kule meko, musa ukunyanzelisa umntu ukuba ayeke kwaye aqale olunye ubomi. Ubundlobongela abukwazi ukutshintsha nantoni apha kwaye akuncedi. Xa umntu ephoqelelwe ukuba enze into ethile, yena, ngokuchaseneyo, ufuna ukukhusela. Nangona ebudeni beentliziyo zabo aba bantu bayaqonda ukuba bayiphutha, iimvakalelo zabo ziqala ukwenza ukuba benze njalo ukuze balwe nabanye. Ngoko ke, umntu akafanele aphephe abantu ukuba bayeke, bayalibale baze baphume ngenxa yothando. Awudingi ukuba nguye othabatha kumntu ngokwakhe iminqweno namaphupha. Ngokuphambene noko, kuyimfuneko nje ukubonisa umntu ngokuthelekisa ukuba abanye abantu bangcono kunabo abasondeleyo. Xa ebona yonke into kwimimiselo, kodwa engacingi ukuba uzama ukubonisa into kuye, ekuhambeni kwexesha uya kutshintsha isimo sakhe sengqondo. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, akudingeki ukuba uphule ubudlelwane babanye kwaye uchaze ukuba ungubani na ongebi. Kuyimfuneko nje ukuphazamisa ngokuchanekileyo kuye kwaye umbonise ngokucacileyo ukuba uya kuba ngcono kwaye uyonwabe xa eyeka le ntsapho. Akubona wonke umntu oqaphela indlela uthando luyabatshabalalisa ngayo. Kuphela ukukwazi ukubonakalisa ubomi obulungileyo kaninzi kusinceda siqonde ukuba uthando lwethu aluhlali luzisa ulonwabo. Kufuneka ube ngumntu onobuqili kwaye ozolile onomonde ukunyanzela kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo umkholise umntu aze akukhumbuze intsingiselo ebalulekileyo yobomi. Kwaye oko akuyimfuneko ukuphazamisa imizwa yakho kwaye uhlupheke. Enyanisweni, wonke umntu uyazi ukwenza iimpazamo. Kwaye, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, abantu abanjalo bayabulela abo baye bahlala ixesha elide, kodwa ngokuzithemba babakhupha ngaphandle kobudlelwane obungenanto. Kodwa xa umntu ethathwa ngunyanzeliso, uyazama ukubuyela, ngenxa yokuba wenqaba konke oku kungabi ngokuzimela.
Ewe, isizathu sokugqibela esinokubangela ukutshabalalisa ubudlelwane uthando. Ngamanye amaxesha sithande abantu abangendawo kwaye sikholelwe ukuba kufuneka babe nathi, kungekhona nomntu abakhethileyo. Kule meko, kufuneka ufunde ukulawula ukuzingca kwakho, kodwa uthando. Emva kwakho konke, njengokuba uyazi, uthando lokwenene luye luvumeleke ukuba luhambe, nangona umntu ebiza kakhulu. Ngoko ke, xa uqonda. Ukuba umhlobo wakho uyonwabile, akufanele uchithe ubuhlobo. Akukho mntu wakha injabulo kwintlungu yomntu. Ngako oko, akufuneki ukuba ucinge ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba uya kuthandwa emva kokuba ulwalamano nomnye umntu lutshabalaliswe. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, kufuneka nje uvumele ukuhamba uphile. Oku kuya kuba yindlela ephuma phambili.