Ukuziphatha okungafanelekanga ngenxa yentlekele yengqondo

Ngangaphi na esiya kuthi: "Akunakwenzeka ukuqonda le ndoda - uziphatha ngokungafanelanga!" Okanye khumbula umhlobo: "Emva kokuthetha naye ndiziva ndiphukile ..." I-psyche yethu ihlelwe njalo: into yokuqala eyenzayo uzama ukufumana isisombululo kwi-set of known izinto kunye nezinto ezintle. Kuvela uluhlu olupheleleyo: imfundo embi okanye umlingiswa, "uyayithwala nje, unokwenza ntoni na?", "Uyingqungquthela enkulu" ... Xa loo mbonakalo iba yinto engakumbi yendalo, sibuza umbuzo-mhlawumbi ayingekho kwimeko kwaye yile ngcaciso yenzululwazi? Enyanisweni, imbangela yokuziphatha okungonelanelekanga ingaba yintlungu engqondweni, eyayifumana umntu ebuntwaneni. Njengomthetho, akayiqondi, kodwa ichaphazela ukuziphatha ekudala. Cinga ngeentlobo ezintathu eziqhelekileyo: umntu onobuthi, onobuchopho kunye noxhomekeke kuye. NEGANTSHANE NEZINTLOKO
Ngokuqhelekileyo sibhekene nale meko xa umhlobo (okanye ngokubanzi ongaphandle) uphonsa ngaphandle kwethu umlambo ongenakudingekanga, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha nokuba nje nolwazi olubi. Khawucinge, ufika kwi-salon yobuhle ukuze wenze inwele entsha, kwaye inkosi yomsebenzi iqala ukukuxelela ngendlela yonke into ebomini ngayo: kwaye abantwana abafuni ukufunda, kwaye umyeni akafumani nto encinane, kunye nempahla yokuphanga inja ... Uhleli, poddakivaete, kwaye wena ucinga, xa esi sikhukhula siphelile. Emva kokuba ushiye i-salon, uzive uthanda ukucinywa njenge-lemon, nangona ngaphambi kokuba uhambo oluya kwi-hairdresser lube nolwazi oluvuyoleyo nolonwabileyo.

Ngubani ophambi kwakho?
Kulo hlobo, kukho amagama aqhelekileyo: umntu onobungozi okanye isistim "sesipampu". Uphawu lwesimboli - uziva unamandla obuthathaka obunamandla. Ukunxibelelana, uyaqonda ukuba awunomdla kuye - kwindawo yakho ingaba nayiphi na. Abantu abanetyhefu bathetha kuphela ngabo, abazange bavelele iimvo zabanye. Akunakuze, nantoni na akukho mnelisayo. Bagxeka, bagxeke, bahlebe okanye bafune uncedo lwakho, kwaye ngokuphindaphindiweyo - ngokukhawuleza. Ngokuqhelekileyo kubonakala ngathi i-roller "idlula" kwelinye, ehamba ngendlela ehlazisa kunye nehlazo. Ngokwenza njalo, bayenza ngokungathi akukho nto eyenzekayo-ukusuka kwindlela yabo yokujonga ngayo, kwimeko yengxoxo yomhlaba.

Ngoko, omnye umhlobo entlanganisweni uhlala esithi: "Ukhangele ukhathele ... Ulusu lwakho lubi, luhlaza. Ngaba awuzange uphumle ngokufanelekileyo? Kwaye akunakwenzeka ukuba ulahlekelwe ukukhwabanisa, kunene? ​​"Kucacile ukuba umva emva kokuba" ukuncoma "okunjalo kuphele, njengombhaluni okhutshwe ngengozi ngumntwana ... Abantu abaninzi, bebona le ntombazana, baya kwelinye icala kwisitrato. Kodwa unokuzisola: ukubonakala okungenakwenzeka, ukungakwazi ukugqoka kakuhle, ukunganeliseki ngomsebenzi (esikhundleni somsebenzi womculi, malunga nokuphepha kwakhe, isikhundla somongikazi) kunye nobomi bomntu. Kubonakala ngathi uloyiko lokuba uya kubuzwa ukuba kutheni engasayi kucula kwaye kutheni umyeni wakhe wamshiya? Ngoko ke, uqala ukuhlasela. Indlela yabantu abetyhefu ivuselela iimvakalelo ezimbi.

Kutheni baba njalo?
Banesimo sengqondo esingalunganga sokuziphatha kuluntu, kwaye iingcambu zeengxaki kufuneka zijongwe ebuntwaneni. "Ubunobuncwane" bubangelwa ngumntu ongenakunxilongo lwangaphakathi - ubona yonke indawo ukubamba, akayi kubuyisa kwaye akaze avulekele kwenye. Uthatha indawo yokuzimela ngokumalunga nabanye, kodwa ngokubanzi ukuhlaselwa kuqala.

Uziphatha njani?
Ukuba lo usebenza naye, qaphela umgama. Ukhononda ngomnye umsebenzi? Yithi: "Kungcono udibanise le nto kumphathi" okanye "Mhlawumbi kufuneka uphendukele kwi-psychologist?" Akunakwenzeka ukuba uya kwenza oku (khumbula ukuba bakuva kuphela - uluvo lwakho aluyithandeki kubo), kodwa ke uya kuzigcina kwigalelo elibi. Thetha ngokuthobeka nangokumomothekayo - lo mntu onobuthi ulindele ubuncinci. Ngokufanelekileyo, akufanele uvumele umntu onjalo ebomini bakho. Ukuba uhlala ebiza, musa ukuthatha ifowuni. Emva kokuba uqalise kwingcaciso yoko kutheni ungafuni ukunxibelelana, uya kufumana oko akufunayo-ukuphendula kwakho. Ungabi sisisulu ngokuphikisana naye. Ukuba zakhe iinwele zezinwele azisebenzi, ngokukhawuleza uyayeka ukukukhathaza.

KUFUNEKA UKUTHANDA
Intombazana eneminyaka emihlanu ubudala ithi: "Umama, ndingayidlala kwi-sandbox?" "Hayi, unako ukuphazamisa ingubo." - "Ngaba ndingadlala nabantwana egcekeni?" "Hayi, andifuni ukuba ube mabi njengokuba kunjalo." - "Ngaba ndinako ice cream?" "Hayi, unako ukubamba umqala wakho." - "Ngaba ndiza kudlala nale puppy?" "Hayi, unokufumana iimbungu." Ekupheleni kwesi ncoko, umntwana uqala ukukhala, kunye nomama, ephendukela kumhlobo, oye wathetha ngalo lonke ixesha ngentshiseko aze aphendule imibuzo yentombazana yakhe: "Ndiyintombazana enjalo! Andikwazi ukumelana neengqumbo zakhe! "

Ngubani ophambi kwakho?
Ubuntu obunomdla. Ngaphambili, abantu abafana nalo mama babizwa ngokuba "banzima," "bakrokra ngokugqithiseleyo," kwaye "bayaphazamisa." Kwintliziyo ye-neurosis ingquzulwano lwangaphakathi.

USigmund Freud wayekholelwa ukuba apha kukho umzabalazo wokuphefumula (izimo zengqondo) kunye neempembelelo (inkcubeko, ukuziphatha). Kwaye uNoo-Freudian uKarry Horney wayekholelwa ukuba "i-neurosis ivela kuphela ukuba le mpikiswano ibangela ukuxhalabisa." Ubuntu obunamahloni obuhlala besazama ukutsala ingqalelo - i-hysterics (hysterical neurosis), ukwesaba kunye ne-phobias (uxhala-phobic), ubuthathaka (neurasthenia).

Kutheni baba njalo?
Abantu abane-Neurotic bafuna iingxaki, kungekhona isisombululo, baxubushe iingxaki, bafumane imithintelo emitsha. Ukuxhalabisa kukwenza uxhalabele ngabathandekayo bakho, ngelixa bekunciphisa izenzo zabo. Kwintliziyo kukuba uvakalelwa kukuba abanye ababaphulaphuli kubo kwaye abaziqondi kakuhle. Kukholelwa ukuba ubuntu obunomdla obufumene intlungu yengqondo ebuntwaneni, ayengenakukwazi ukujamelana nayo, kwaye wayenza ngokunyuka okukhulu ngenxa yokungabi ncedi. Umnqweno wokwamkelwa ngabanye uyamqhuba kwaye esemdala.

Uziphatha njani?
Imfuno yothando esinokuziva ngayo ayinanto kuwe. Iiprojekti zomntu onobuchopho onomfanekiso wakho komnye wabazali, abanakwabo abangenayo. Ngoko ke, uthando lwakho luya kuhlala lincinci. Ngamanye amaxesha uya kucinga ukuba emva kokuthetha naye usuke ukhathele kakhulu, okanye ube nobudlova ngenxa yesizathu esicacileyo. Lo ngumqondiso omele uzinake ngawo ngoku. Ingqalelo "yikhupha" ikhethiweyo - izibonelelo zakho aziyi kuhlala ixesha elide.

NGAPHANDLE UKUNIKEZELA
Ibhinqa bonke ubomi bakhe kwakunzima ukuthetha noodadewabo omdala-phakathi kweminyaka eyi-10 eyahlukileyo. Umntu wokuqala - usapho: indoda kunye nabantwana. Udade omdala uqhawule umtshato, uhlala ngokwahlukileyo. Kwaye ngokuhlwa onke ubiza umncinci ukuba adibanise kwimibandela ethile. Kwaye akaceli ngokucebisa ngokuthe ngqo, kodwa ubuza umbuzo kwaye ulindele ukuba aqhutywe ukuba enze ntoni, kwizinto zokuthenga kwivenkile ngaphambi kokuba ufuna ukuhlangabezana nabathengi abatsha malunga nabancinci abakwaziyo nantoni na ...

Ngubani ophambi kwakho?
Umntu o xho mekeke. Isidingo sabo esisisiseko kukutshintsha ezininzi iinqumo kunye noxanduva lobomi babo kwabanye. Bahlala behlengahlengiswa xa kubalulekile ukuvakalisa uluvo, abakwazi ukwenza isigqibo sokugqibela, nangona kubonakala. Bacinga ukuba baya kusenza iphutha okanye bakhethe okungahambiyo. Bahlala nomvakalelo ongenalucalulo, ngoko ukuba umntu onjalo ehlukana kunye naye, kufuneka ngokuqinisekileyo azalise nomntu okanye into ethile.

Kutheni baba njalo?
Kwintliziyo yolu luhlungu lwengqondo oluye lwafunyanwa kakhulu ebuntwaneni. Abazali bomntu oxhomekeke kuyo, mhlawumbi, bahlakazekile kwaye abazange baxelele umntwana oko kwenzekayo, xa bazinikezele bona. Enyanisweni, washiywa yedwa, kwaye unesizungu somntwana kufana nokufa. Ngoko ke, ebomini bomntu omdala, uqhutyelwa ukwesaba uxolo lomhlaba wonke kunye nesidingo sokwenza izigqibo ngokwalo ... Kanye nje ebuntwaneni, xa kungekho mntu mdala.

Uziphatha njani?
Ukuba isihlobo sakho okanye umhlobo usondela kule nkcazo, ngoko sele uyayazi into eyenzekayo kubo nokuba yintoni eyayiyandulela. Mamela umntu onjalo, kodwa uvikele imida yakho - oxhomekeke kuyo uyakwazi ukuwaphula ngokulula. Musa ukuhamba malunga - ukunciphisa icebiso kumncinci, ungangivumeli ukuba ndiphendule lonke uxanduva kuwe. Abazali awukwazi ukumbeka esikhundleni sakhe, kwaye endaweni yobomi bakhe, uhlala nomnye umntu.