Uloyiko kunye neepazamo zomama onesizungu

Wonke umfazi unelungelo lokonwaba lwakhe, intsapho eqinile kunye nothando olufanayo. Kwaye onke amabhinqa amaphupha ngawo. Kodwa akusiyo yonke into ebomini eqhubekayo, njengoko efuna yona kwaye akusiyo yonke intokazi inomntu onomdla wokugqibela. Ngokuqhelekileyo ulwalamano luphela ekuhlukaneni nasekuphukeni, kwaye ngoko umfazi uhlala yedwa kunye nomntwana ezandleni zakhe, ngamanye amaxesha kunye namabini. Ngoku unomama ongatshatanga, kwaye abaninzi bakholelwa, oku kukuphela. Ukwesaba kunye neempazamo zomama ongatshatanga, sifunda kule ncwadi.

Uloyiko kunye neempazamo
Ziziphi iipazamo umama ongatshatanga azenzayo, uluhlobo olunjani lokwesaba, kwaye unako ukuphepha ezi mpazamo? Siza kunceda ukufumana amandla ngaphakathi kwethu, ukuqonda konke okwenzekileyo, ukuqala "ukusuka ekuqaleni" kwaye uhambe ubomi obutsha. Simele sikhumbule ukuba umama ongatshatanga, oku akusiyo umama omubi, kungekho intsapho engonwabileyo, kodwa yintsapho engaphelelanga. Kukho imizekelo emininzi apho kwintsapho eqhelekileyo, equkethe umama, uyise kunye nomntwana, ngokuqhelekileyo ukunakekelwa nokukhuliswa komntwana kwenziwa ngumama. Kwaye kwintsapho enjalo umntu akanakonwaba, umama - kuba indoda ingumntwana, utata kuba akanalo ithuba lokuphila, kuba ufuna, kwaye akukho nkululeko, umntwana ngenxa yokuxabana kwabazali.

Ngaba unokuba ngumama onesizungu, kungekhona okubi? Emva kwakho konke, kubafazi abaninzi, ukuqhawula umtshato yindlela kuphela yokuphuma kwimeko (ukubetha, ukuhlambalaza, ukuthotywa, ukungabi nthando, njl njl) kunye novuyo kwakhona. Emva koko, abantu bavame ukwenza iimpazamo xa bakhetha umntu ongalunganga, baya emnyango ongalunganga, bathi amazwi angalunganga. Musa ukuyeka, kwaye into eyona nto ihamba phambili, ayiyi kuba lula. Emva koko, idlulileyo ayinakuguqulwa, kodwa kunokwenzeka ukwakha ikamva elihle lomntwana kunye nawe. Wonke umfazi kufuneka abe nelungelo lokufumana ithuba lesibini.

Iingcamango zomama onesizungu
Abafazi abakhulisa umntwana bodwa bayazibuza umngeni kubo. Oomama abanesizungu, ngenxa yokulahleka kobomi izikhokelo kunye nokuzithemba, banakekele ngakumbi abantwana, ngelixa belibala malunga neemfuno zabo kunye nabo. Kwaye benza iphutha elikhulu.

1. Bazinikele ngokupheleleyo kwaye bazinikele ngokupheleleyo kumntwana
Mhlawumbi akubi, kodwa oomama abanikela ubomi babo bonke kumntwana, njengokuba kunjalo, banamathela kuwo, kwaye abakwazi ukuzibona njengomntu. Kunzima kakhulu ukuba bavumele umntwana wabo omdala ukuba ahambe ebomini obuzimeleyo. Oomama abanjalo banemfuno ephezulu kubantwana babo. Iimoto zabo ezingagqibekanga azama ukuziqonda ngomntwana wazo, zimnciphise ilungelo lokuzikhethela nokuzicwangcisa. Ewe, umntwana ebomini bakhe yinto ebaluleke kakhulu, kodwa kufuneka ukhumbule ngawe. Oku kusebenza kuzo zombini iimvakalelo nokubonakala.

2. Uziva unetyala elikhulu
Ngokuqhelekileyo, oomama abangatshatanga bakholelwa ukuba banetyala lokuqhawula umtshato kunye nokuba umntwana akanalo uyise. Kwaye kungakhathaliseki ukuba izizathu zeso sithuba, zityhola kuphela kule nto. Enyanisweni ngenxa yokuba umntwana ukhula kwintsapho engaphantsi kwaye engenayo uyise. Ngenxa yokuntuleka kwemali, baphoqeleka ukuba basebenze iintsuku, kwaye kunjalo, ngelixa belinika abantwana ixesha elifutshane. Kwaye xa kukho ixesha lokukhulula, abaphumli, kodwa banike ixesha kwaye bachithe kunye nabantwana. Kwaye kwenzeka njalo bonke ubomi, bazive benetyala kunye nokuzisola, okuzibonakalisa ngokwabo ngokuzidela ngokupheleleyo.

Ibhinqa elinyukayo kumntwana wakhe, liyimvelo, kodwa akufanele kube yingozi kwaye ibe yinto efanelekileyo. Akuyimfuneko ukunikela yonke iminithi yobomi bakho kumntwana. Emva koko, ngale ndlela umama unikela umntwana wakhe umzekelo omhle. Awukwazi ukuzithintela ithemba lenkululeko nobomi bomntu, akudingeki ukuba uqaphele kuphela indima yomama ongatshatanga.

3. Inkqubo yokukhulisa umntwana iyancitshiswa ekunelisekeni kweemfuno zezinto eziphathekayo
Lo ngumnqweno wendalo kunye nemvelo, kodwa omnye akufanele akhohlwe ngecala elingokomoya. Unina ongatshatanga, unenkathalo yokugqoka nokunyusa umntwana, unokuziphosa ixesha elibalulekileyo njengemfundo yemfanelo, ububele, ububele, uthando kunye njalo. Ncokola naye ngokuphindaphindiweyo, unike ububele kunye nokufudumala kwibukeka, amagama, ekuthinteni. Ukuba kukho ubunzima bezezimali, oku akufanele kuthintele ulwalamano lwakho nomntwana. Ungaqiniseki ukuba ufundisa umntu kunye nomntu, nokuba uyakhula yedwa. Invest in focus of the child, ububele, ukunakekelwa nothando. Olu lulo-mali olunenzuzo kakhulu, kwiminyaka embalwa uza kufumana inzala kwintombi enyamekayo nothando kunye nendodana enombulelo.

4. Baqedile ubomi babo kwaye banqande isondo sabo sentlalo kuphela kumntwana
Oomama abanelisekile bayaqiniseka ukuba iintlanganiso zabo kunye nabahlobo, kunye nendoda baya kwenza umntwana ahlupheke kwaye akayi kuzisa uvuyo, kodwa konke oku kakubi. Ngokuchaseneyo, umama onoyolo oneliseke ngobomi uya kuzisa umntwana. Musa ukuzicima kwabanye. Kufuneka ukuba uye kwindawo ethile kwaye ngaphandle komntwana, wenze utyunjwa uze udibane nabangani kwaye wenze okuthile kuwe, intanda yakho. Ukunxibelelana nabantu, kunye nomntu uya kukukhohlwa malunga neengxaki ezithile zokunyamezela, ukuzisa uvuyo kunye novuyo. Yaye unomama onolonwabo unokwenza umntwana naye ajabule.

Musa ukuwuthintela umnqweno wokuthembela kwinqaba lamadoda elinamandla, kuba kuyimfuneko eqondakalayo kunye nemvelo ukuziva unonophelo lomthandayo. Kwaye ngegama lomama, awukwazi ukuyeka konke oku. Mhlawumbi indoda entsha kunye nolwazi olutsha luya kunceda le ntsapho. Imbopheleleko eyenziwa ngumntu oyedwa ingahlukaniswa yaba ngabantu ababini. Umntwana, ukuthetha nomama nonina, uya kufumana ulwazi olutsha kunye namava.

5. Musa ukuthatha uluntu
Oku okugqithiseleyo kunomama ongatshatanga. Emva koko, abazange baphinde baphinde baphinde babone ubudlelwane obudlulileyo, kwaye sele bezama ukudala ubudlelwane obutsha. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, abantwana bashiywe kootatomkhulu, kwaye oku kuyachaphazela abantwana. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukufumana ukulinganisela phakathi kweemfuno zakho kunye neemfuno zomntwana.

Ngoku siyazi malunga neempazamo kunye nokwesaba komama ongatshatanga. Kufuneka ukwazi ukuba abafazi abanamandla banokukhula ngokwabo. Musa ukwesaba iingxaki kunye nemingcipheko, uphumelele ebomini kunye namahlombe alungeleyo kunye nokuzithemba ngokwaneleyo. Ungumama wokwenene. Kwaye simele simthande umntwana kunye nathi. Jabule!