Hlalani nihlobo
Umtshato womtshato ushukumisela uxinzelelo oluqhubekayo kubantwana, kwaye akukhathazeki ukuba baneminyaka engakanani ubudala. Ngokwemvelo, umntwana uyazibuza ukuba kutheni omnye umzali eshiya enye. Omncinane unokucinga ukuba: "Kuthekani ukuba bayandishiya?" Ezinye iingcali zithi abantwana banokuziva baziqhelanise xa behamba nabazali babo ukuba uMama noTata bayaqhubeka bebakhathalele ngokufanelekileyo, njengangaphambili. Kwaye abaninzi banokuqhawula imibhangqwana sele bekulungele uxhulumano loxolo kunye nomnye kubantwana babo. Kuphi ukuthambekela kokuqhawula umtshato "ngendlela enobubele"? Okokuqala, oku kuchazwa yinyaniso yokuba izilingo kwiinkqubo zomtshato ziye zatshintshwa eziliqela ukwenzela ukukhusela iimfuno zabantwana kwimisitho yomtshato. Ngokomzekelo, kwi-28 yase-US uthi izibini ezenza isigqibo sokuqhawula umtshato kufuneka zenze iikhosi ezizodwa, apho zichazwe indlela yokuphepha iingxabano kwaye zithwale uxanduva lwabazali kunye. Uninzi lwabazali kunye nabamaMama, abadlulayo ngokuqhawula abazali babo ebuntwaneni, bazame ukuzikhusela kumava abantwana babo xa behlukana nabatshatileyo babo. Ootata kweli phepha babandakanyeka ebomini bomntwana. Kwaye le nto inobuncedo bayo: abantwana, obawo uhlala khona, banokunyamezela lula ukuhlukana kwabazali babo, ngoxa abapapa, ngelixa besondelene nabantwana, bafezekisa ngakumbi imbopheleleko yabo, kubandakanywa nemali, ngokumalunga nezingane. Ukwahlukana, apho abatshatileyo bebehlala khona ngokufanelekileyo, kuyadingeka ngumntu wonke: unina, uyise kunye nabantwana. Amacala xa ukuhlukana kwabazali kulimaza kakhulu abantwana, kungekhona kakhulu, kodwa imiphumo emibi ingavela kamva. "
Ubuhlobo obubi
Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukutshatyalaliswa komtshato (nangona ihlwempu kakhulu) kushiya emva kokudana, ukucaphuka, ukucaphuka. Nangona kunjalo, nangona ubuhlobo obubi, isi sibini sifanele sifike kwisivumelwano. Enyanisweni, kunzima ukuba neentlonelo kulabo bafanele bahlukane kwiimeko ngenxa yeemeko, kodwa kunjalo kubalulekile ukuseka ubudlelwane, kuba indlela yokusebenzisana iya kuba yindawo yokuqala yokuhlala kuyo iya kubeka ithoni iminyaka ezayo. Kukho iindlela ezininzi ezincedisayo ukwenza umtshato ungabandezeli kakhulu abantwana. "Mina nomyeni wam u-Ilya ekugqibeleni sanquma ukuqhawula umtshato. Ewe, ndaqonda ukuba abantwana bethu, uMas oneminyaka emihlanu ubudala kunye no-Ivan oneminyaka emithathu ubudala, banokuyibona le ntlungu njengenhlekelele, kuba basithandayo bobabini. Kwaye kwenzeka. Ukuqhawula umtshato kwathintela ukujonga kwabo, kodwa andizange ndibone okokude. Ilya washiya. Iintsuku ezintathu zokuqala, u-Ivan wavusa ngokukhala kwakhe, uMasha walala ebhalweni, - uthi u-Elena oneminyaka engama-35 ubudala, owachitha umyeni wakhe iminyaka emithathu edlulileyo. Ixesha lidlulileyo, kwaye emva kweenyanga ezimbalwa ndatsho udadewethu ukuba abantwana basebenzise. Iintsana zibonise imizokazi yazo imidwebo yazo, kwaye yena, ekhangele, wathi kum: "Khangela, yeyiphi imibala ephazamisayo kunye nezilwanyana ezimbi kuzo." Kwaye ndabona ukuba phantse yonke imidwebo yomntwana ibonisa izilwanyana ezingaqhelekanga, kwanokuba ingca kunye namafu ayeninzi abamnyama. Iminyaka eyisixhenxe idlulile, kwaye kubonakala ngathi yonke into isendaweni yayo. Ngomntu owayengumyeni, sinokubambisana, kwaye uhlangana ubuncinane kathathu ngeveki nabantwana. Ngo-Ilya, asithandi ukukhumbula into eyabangela ukutshatyalaliswa komtshato, kodwa kubantwana bethu esi sihloko siyafaneleka. Bahlala benemibuzo malunga nale nto. "
1) Nciphisa iindaba ezimbi
Abantwana baya kukhumbula ingxoxo yokuqala malunga noshintsho kwintsapho ixesha elide. Yintoni ngokwenene umama kunye nobawo bathetha nabo, kwaye baya kuthintela indlela umntwana uya kuziva ngayo emva kokuba abazali bephule - ngokuxhalabile okanye ngokukhawuleza. Kufanele uxoxe nabantwana iintsuku ezimbalwa ngaphambi kokuhamba kokugqibela, ngaphandle koko ukunyamalala komnye wabazali ngaphandle kwengcaciso yezizathu kunokusongela umntwana. Ngokufanelekileyo, bobabini bomtshato kufuneka babekhona xa bethetha nomntwana kwaye bathethe ukuba benze le sigqibo kunye kwaye kuya kuba ngcono kuwo wonke umntu. Chaza kwintsana ukuba umama nobawo babethandana, kodwa ngoku abafuni ukuhlala kunye, kuba banokuthintana. Akuyimfuneko ukukhohlisa ukuthetha nomntwana kwaye ukwesaba ukubonisa iimvakalelo zakho - vumela umntwana ukuba aqonde ukuba kukho iimeko, ezifana nokuhlukana, apho umntu angaba nomoya ogxininisekile. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuvumela abantwana bazi ukuba akukho mpazamo kuloluhlu, kwaye qiniseka ukukukhumbuza ukuba bobabini nisamthanda kwaye ningalokothi niyeke, nangona kufuneka niphile kwiindawo zokutya ezahlukeneyo. "
2) Khusela iimvuthu ezinsukwini zokuqala
Zama ukuhlala uxolo kunye nesimo sengqondo esilungileyo ebomini, nangona uqhawulo lomtshato, ukuze ungayesabi umntwana. Unokumxelela ukuba wonke umntu ufuna ukuqina. Kodwa wena ngokwakho uqonda kakuhle ukuba kwisisombululo esiphumeleleyo senkqubo yomtshato uya kufuneka ube namandla kunanini ngaphambili.
3) Musa ukuthetha kakubi kumlingane wangaphambili
Abaninzi bethu bayaqonda ukuba kulungile ukwenza abantwana be-intermediaries ukucacisa ubudlelwane, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kunzima ukuba siqaphele ukuba umntwana, nangona mncinci, unokuthi afake ixesha elifanelekileyo lokunxibelelana phakathi kwabantu abasondeleyo. Ngoko ke, kumaxesha anzima kuwe, xa ufuna ukuthulula umphefumlo wakho kubangani bakho kwifowuni, gcinani engqondweni ukuba inkunzi inokuba yindawo ethile kufuphi kwaye ikuva.
4) Hlanganisa neshedyuli
Abantwana bazali abaqhawule umtshato kufuneka baxhomekeke kwiinkonzo ezininzi zentsapho zansuku zonke, kwaye banokukhathazeka ngale nto. Impembelelo enkulu ukuba uqhawulo lomtshato kwindodana yami uVanya yenziwe yinto efunekayo yokukwazi ukuba yintoni isicwangciso senkqubo esilandelayo, ngoku kufuneka ukuba azi kakuhle ukuba ngubani na odibeneyo nanamhlanje, kuphi na ngeliphi ixesha. Saqhawula xa unyana wam uneminyaka emithathu ubudala, kwaye ngoku ndinalo ikhalenda endlwini yam apho mna kunye nomntanami sithokozela imihla yethu yentlanganiso.
5) Musa ukudibanisa uxanduva lokukhulisa umntwana nokufumana ubudlelwane phakathi komnye
Amaxesha xa abazali beqala "ukwabelana" nosana ngosuku, banomdla kakhulu kumntwana wengqondo, kuba umntwana uyaqonda ukuba kukho ubudlelwane obukhulu phakathi komama noyise. Utata weza kumthabatha umntwana, kwaye oku akusiyiyo ixesha lokuqala ukufumana ubuhlobo.
Funda kwakhona: indlela yokuqhawula umtshato xa kukho umntwana