Ngaba uyazi oku? Kodwa, imeko ayiyiyo siphelo esinokufa, ukuba ilungelo lokusondela. Ngoko ungaphila nomyeni wakhe emva kokungcatsha kwakhe?
Ekuqaleni (kwaye kufuneka uhlawule ngokukhethekileyo oku!) Kufuneka ulahle nayiphi na imvakalelo, kwithuba elifutshane. Ekuqalekeni, ungacinga into enjenge: "Yeyiphi isiluleko esiphezulu!" okanye "Akunakwenzeka!" ... Emva koko uqhubeka uvelisa ukuhlupheka kwakho. Kukho enye inketho - kufuneka ufumane ngaphakathi kwimikhosi yangaphakathi kwaye ujongene nale meko. Ukuba uthanda ukhetho lwesibini, lukhulu! Usukile uqobo endleleni, ekhokelela ekuguqulweni kwengqondo.
Okulandelayo, oko kufuneka kwenziwe kwenziwa ukuphendula umbuzo owodwa: "Ngaba u-100% uqinisekile ukuba intanda yakho inkohliso kuwe?" Unokunika impendulo efanelekileyo ukuba awuzange umfumene ngqo "kwimeko yolwaphulo-mthetho." Kodwa yonke inkathazo kukuba uyayikrokra ukutshatyalaliswa komyeni wakho, akunjalo? Uloyiko olukhulu kwaye, ngexesha elifanayo, unomnqweno omkhulu - zikho izizathu zokuba ungenza udibaniso. "Ngoko ke isisombululo? , kungcono kunokutya rhoqo ngaphakathi.
Ngoko ke, kuthetha ukuba, ukunyaniseka kwakho kukutshintshile. Ngoko ungaphila nomyeni wakhe emva kokungcatsha kwakhe?
Kodwa! I-betrothed yakho ithi ukunyeliswa kwakhe kwakuyimpazamo kwaye akusayi kuphinda kwenzeke kwakhona. Uyaphenduka ngokunyanisekileyo kwaye ufuna kakhulu ukuphucula imeko. Kule nqanaba, emva kokungcatsha, kubaluleke kakhulu ukufumanisa isizathu sokungcatsha: uyabhuqa okanye mhlawumbi, kunye nomnye umfazi, ufumana into ongeke uyinike yona? Akufanele uvumelane ukuba ungavumelani nezizathu zokuthi "kwenzeka." Kubalulekile ukufumanisa izinto ezifunekayo zokungcatsha, kwaye kunye kufuneka uqonde, konke ukubaluleka. Phila emva kokungcatsha komyeni wakhe, unako, kodwa lungiselela ukuba ubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla buya kutshintsha okufutshane.
Kwaye ngoku, emva kokufumanisa izizathu nezizathu, kufuneka uziphendule ngokunyanisekileyo nangokunyanisekileyo: "Ngaba uyamthanda? Ungamthemba emva kwesiganeko nje ngaphambili?". Oku kubalulekile, kuba ukuthembela kuyisiseko sobuhlobo obunamandla. Musa ukukhawuleza, kungcono ukuba uqikelele ngokucophelela i-pros and cons. Kungenzeka ukuba ukhangele phambili kwixesha elizayo ngokuhlukileyo: sele usubone amathemba amatsha, ngokuqinisekileyo wenze izicwangciso. Mhlawumbi, intukuthelo isaphila entliziyweni yakho, kodwa ubukhulu beemvakalelo buyashiya kakhulu.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba usenokugqiba ukubuyisela ubudlelwane emva kobugwenxa, khumbula ukuba oku kukhetha kwakho.
Yintoni okufuneka uyenze emva kokungcatsha komyeni wakho?
- Okokuqala, kufuneka uyeke ukwenza idini. Kucacile, awukho into enomdla kwaye uyabuhlungu, kodwa ukujonga emva kwakho kwaye uzwelana nawe kukuphela kokufa, into edibeneyo. Uza kwandisa kakhulu ukuzithemba kwakho kungekukho kuphela, kodwa nakwamehlo akhe. Kodwa oku kuya kwenzeka kuphela ukuba awuyena nje umgca wokukhanya othulini omoya ngoku, kodwa ungokoqobo lwangenayo.
- Akuyimfuneko ukugweba nabani na. Umnqweno wemvelo emva kokungcatsha komyeni wakhe-ukufunga kunye nezitya. Mhlawumbi oku kuza kukunika ithuba elifutshane lexeshana, kodwa akunakwenzeka ukuba negalelo ekuqiniseni ubudlelwane bakho. Umyeni, ngokuqinisekileyo, uya kubaleka. Ngako oko, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kunzima kangakanani ngoku, uncedo olukhethileyo luya kubakho xa usabambe iqhayiya lakho. Musa ukulibala ukuba wavuma ngokuqaphelayo.
- Khawulibale kwaye uzame ukuxolela. Oku kuyona nto imfuneko, kwaye ngelo xesha kuluhlu olunzima kunzima. Kufuneka ukuba ufunde kwakhona, ukuba uthembele wakho umthandayo xa usuke udidekile kwaye uyakrokrelwa. Kodwa, kufuneka sizame ukwenza yonke imizamo ukuqinisekisa ukuba umyeni akayiva ngandlela-thile efana nentolongo.
Kucacile, ukulandela le ngcebiso kunzima kakhulu. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba, nangona kukho ukungcatshiswa komyeni wakhe, usenokugqiba ukuzama ukubuyisela ubuhlobo bakho, ngoko kuyafaneleka.