Uthando olungathandekiyo luhlala lusebenza kwaye lunonophelo. Yaye ukuba ubuza umbuzo othi "yintoni uthando?", Unokuva iimpendulo ezahlukileyo: "imfuno yomnye umntu," "intuthuzelo engokomoya," "injongo yobomi," kwanokuba "umkhwa." Ngenxa yoko, umntu ngamnye ubeka amava akhe kunye nezimvo zakhe kule ngcamango.
Uninzi lwabantu lubona ngothando intsingiselo ebalulekileyo yobomi kwaye ngexesha elifanayo abanokungenakunceda phambi kwalo. Uthando lukhangele yonke into, kodwa ukufumanisa, bambalwa kakhulu abantu bayazi ukuba benzani nalo, "kuchaza indoda ehlakaniphile. Ewe, indlela yokulahla ubutyebi obunjalo? Fumana impendulo yalo mbuzo ubaluleke kakhulu. Ngenxa yokuba uthando, njengokuba uyayazi, intombazana engenangqondo - ingabaleka.
Uthando ngumnqweno wokuhlala nomntu onokrekta zonke iintsuku, iiyure kunye nemizuzu ekhutshwe yiyo. Kodwa omnye umnqweno akwanele. I-rumor ithi: ukuthanda kuqala ngowokuqala ukunika. Ngaba silulungele oku? Akunabo bonke. Ukunika ukulahlekelwa into, ukunikela into ethile. Kwaye ukuba sisilungele oku, ngoko, njengomyalo, kunye nokugcinwa: inkqubo kufuneka idibene. Oko kukuthi, ukupha, sifuna ukufumana into ngokubuyisela. Kwaye siyabanjwa ngumgibe. Ukuba umnqweno wokunikezela kubandakanya ukulindela ukufumana nantoni na ngokubuyisela, ukunikezela ngaphandle kokufumana nantoni na ukukhohliswa. Akukho mntu ufuna ukukhohliswa. Kwaye, nangona kunjalo, le ndlela ichanekile, kufuneka nje ukutshintsha ugxininiso. Ukunika ukunikela, ukupha. Nobubele asinakudli umntu. Ngokuphambene noko, kuyenza ibe nomoya ocebileyo, kukuvumela ukuba uzive uvuyo lobomi. Yilokho okuthandwayo.
Sibiza indoda ukuba ibuhlungu xa sibona indlela enenzondelelo eyayikhusela ubutyebi bakhe kuyo nayiphi na ilahleko. Isimo esinjalo asimvuyisi. Kwaye kwinjongo yengqondo, siza kumqwalasela umceli, nangona kunjalo imeko yakhe ingenzeka. Ngoko kuvela ukuba nguye kuphela onako ukunika unotyebi.
Kodwa ungayinikela kumthandayo? Yonke into! Uvuyo nosizi, ukujonga kwabo, ukufumanisa, iingcamango, ulwazi. Ngamanye amagama, ubomi bakho kuyo yonke imbonakalo yayo. Ulonwabo, ukuba intando yakho ibhekisela ekuthandweni ngendlela efanayo. Emva koko uya kuncedisa ngokukhawuleza. Akunjalo, ukufumana into ngokubuyisela, kodwa ukuva nje uvuyo lokuqonda. Xa amabini anika, into ethile yazalwa nguThixo, ebizwa ngokuthi "uthando." Ukuba oko kwakungeke kwenzeke, ngoko, baninzi, aba babini baqonda ukuvakalelwa ngothando ngezindlela ezahlukeneyo. Kubonakala ukuba umntu wayesalugxile ekufakweni "ukunika, kubalulekile ukufumana into ngokubuyisela." Uthando luhlala lusebenza kwaye lunyamekela. Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba ukholelwe ukuba umntu uthanda iintyatyambo xa ebalekele ukuwahambisa? Kodwa kukho enye ingqongqo: ukunyamekela omnye umntu unokunyanzela ubuntu bakhe, ngokunxulumene nayo njengepropati. Ukuthintela oku kunceda enye inxalenye yothando-inhlonipho.
Ukuhlonela kukufumana omnye umntu njengoko yena. Ukuqonda ukuzimela kwayo kunye neempawu, ukuba unomdla ekubeni lukhula njengobuntu obuhlukile. Inhlonipho ayifaki ukusetyenziswa komntu omnye ngomnye nayiphi na injongo, nokuba yinto ehloniphekileyo. Kwaye sinokumhlonela omnye umntu ngethuba lokuba sizimeleyo, sinokuhamba ubomi ngaphandle kokuxhasa kwaye ngoko akudingeki ukuba sisebenzise umntu ngeenjongo zethu. Ulwazi lobunzima bomntu lunceda ukuphakama ngaphezu kokuzixhalabisa kwaye ubone omnye umntu kwiindawo zakhe. Yilo lwazi ngamanye amaxesha alinayo ngokwaneleyo ubudlelwane kunye nendoda okanye ibhinqa lamaphupha ethu.
Uthando, silwela ukufunda imfihlelo yomphefumlo womntu othandekayo, nangona siqonda ubunzima bezenzo zethu. Ukuze ufikelele kule mfihlelo, ulwazi olufunyenwe esikolweni kwaye nakwiziko lincinci kakhulu. Oku kufuna uxhulumaniso olunzulu nomphefumlo womnye umntu. Kwaye kuphela kumanyano wemiphefumlo, ebizwa ngokuthi uthando, ngaba sinokuzalisa umnqweno wethu wokuphelisa kulo mntu, njengathi.
Ngoko, amandla osebenzayo othando akhiwe ngokukwazi ukunikela, ngokunyamekela, malunga nenhlonipho nolwazi. Oku kuyinkimbinkimbi engabonakaliyo, abantu abavuthiweyo abanokuyilandela. Abo baye balahla iingcamango ze-narcissism malunga nesimo sabo sobuninzi kunye namandla onke. Ngubani ongokoqobo kwisidima esenziwe ngamandla angaphakathi. Amandla anjalo akhiwe ngokukwazi ukubonisa iimvakalelo zabo ngokufanelekileyo, ngokukwazi ukubona iimfuno zomnye umntu kunye nokuva izicelo zakhe ezingabonakaliyo. Kwaye kumzabalazo wobunene obuphakathi, obonakalisa kwisimo sengqondo sokuzimela kunye nokungakhathaleli kwabanye. Zonke ezi zinto ngokuthe gqolo kodwa ziqhubeka zikwazi ukulawula ubuchule bokuthanda.