Kwiingcinga zawo onke amabhinqa anqatshelwe "ikhowudi yenkcazelo yamagama." Sithatha i-postulates kunye nobisi lomama, apho le "chip chip-fairy chip" nayo ihleli ngokuqinisekileyo, kwaye ngethuba elidala siqala ukwahlula ihlabathi kwizikumkani, amabhinqa kumakhosazana kunye nabathakathi abangendawo, kunye namadoda kwizikhulu kunye nabaceli. Kuye, ngokwenene, sinika indima yindoda enhle kunazo zonke, ukuba uthando lwazo izihlwele kunye nezipempi kunye nezikhulu ziya kulwa, kodwa ukufikelela emphefumlweni nasemzimbeni kuya kufumana okufanelekileyo kakhulu. Kwaye emva komtshato wasebukhosini obuhle kakhulu, isikhulu kunye nomninimzi uya kuphila ixesha elide kwaye ngonwabileyo, njengale ngxaki. Kodwa ingaba kukho intsimi emva kwefayile?
Ngelishwa, akukho ngxelo yefriythi ebhaliweyo ukuba isibini esithandekayo sesithandani sekhaya siphelelwe ukuhlala "eside kwaye sinovuyo" kwaye "siya kufa ngosuku olunye." Abaxeleli ukuba abathandana banqoba njani iingxaki zemihla ngemihla, ukuxhatshazwa kweentsapho, indlela ababekhusele ngayo uthando lwabo ngobukhwele, ukuzingca kunye nentukuthelo. Nangona kunjalo, yintoni eyenza ukuba wenze isono kwiingxelo zefestile? Asifundiswanga le mimithombo enyanisekileyo. Abazali, okanye isikolo okanye uluntu alukhathalele ukuba, xa sisabadala, sishiya iingcamango ezintle apho kufuneka babe khona-ebuntwaneni. Kwaye kwakha intsapho, ekhokelwa ngolwazi lwesigqirha sabasetyhini nabasetyhini, beyazi indlela yokuxolela nokucela ukuxolelwa, ukufuna ukulungelelanisa nokufumana ukuqonda. Le ndlela yindlela oya kulwalamano olumkileyo noluthando oluvuthiweyo. Ngoko ke ukuqala ukwakha ubudlelwane, ukwenzela ukuba banamandla kunye nobomi?Bakhela, bakha kwaye banokugqitywa!
Isiseko saluphi na ubudlelwane - isiseko esiqinileyo, esabekwa ekuqaleni kwothando. Kwaye kungakhathaliseki ukuba kuthethwa njani ukuhlambalaza nokungahlambuluki, kodwa uthando luthanda ukubala ngokuqinileyo. Kuyo, njengokwakhiwa kwezindlu, kufuneka kube necebo elicacileyo, ukuyila kunye nemifanekiso. Kukhukhume kakhulu ukukholelwa ukuba into ephambili yothando ngumbono, zonke izinto ziya kudibaniswa. Kuya kuqhotyoshelweyo, kodwa kuphela ukuba kuya kuba yintoni. Akunjalo nje ngezinto eziphathekayo. Kuya kuqiniswa kwakhona ukuba isiseko sothando sihlonipha imithetho yehlabathi elingaphakathi lomntu, owamkela ngokuthemba, kunye nomnqweno wokungawubeki umyalelo wakhe apho, kodwa ukuvumelana ngokusebenzisana ngokubambisana. Ewe, ewe! Ukusebenzisana! Ngenxa yokuba uthando lusebenza. Unzima, kodwa unomdla kwaye unonophelo. Ewe, amagama athi "isivumelwano", "inzuzo", "intsebenziswano" yinqumle iindlebe zabathandi. Kodwa ngaphandle kwabo, akukho ndawo, ukuba injongo kukudala ubudlelwane obude kunye novuyo. Yaye yintoni na abakhi bomtshato obunxilisayo? Kunene, hayi! Abakhi bezonxila bayakha abayingozi. Abathandwayo abacingi malunga nesiseko sendlu yabo, bephethe izakhiwo kunye noqhagamshelwano. Bona, ngokuzivala, bakha izindonga zekhonkrithi ukusuka kwiingathemba kunye neengxelo zamagama, izibhambathiso zothando olungunaphakade kunye nezithembiso zentsapho yokunyaniseka. Yaye xa ivakalelo elincinci lingaxhomeki nomthwalo onjalo, bayamangalisa: kutheni iindonga zawa? Khangela ityala. Kwaye abakhi baya kuthi batyala, kwaye zombini ngexesha elifanayo. Ngoko ke, ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukudala intsapho, thatha ingxaki ukugqiba "isakhiwo sokwakha intsapho".Ungaqala njani ukwakha ubudlelwane?
- Kufunda ukufunda. Kwisigaba sokuqala sobudlelwane kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba sonke singabantu - ukusuka kubalingiswa, iimvakalelo, imizwa kunye namahomoni. Wonke umntu unelungelo lokuhlala ngokwakhe, ngaphandle kokuphula amalungelo kunye nenkululeko yomntu othandekayo. Masibe nomnye kwaye musa ukugqoka imaski. Qaphela ukuba ubuthathaka kunye neziphene zakho, kodwa khetha ukuzivumela ukuba zibe nazo. Kwaye ukuqonda ukuba unokuthanda amaminithi akhe kuwo, yenza uvavanyo olulula. Yahlula icandelo lephepha kwisiqingatha, kwicala elinye, bhala zonke iimpawu ezicaphukisa indoda, kwaye kwenye - into oyithandayo. Thelekisa iikholam ezimbini, kwaye uphendule ngokunyanisekileyo kuwe: ngaba ulungele ukumkela iigastim zakhe ngenxa yokudibanisa? Cinga ngezinto onokutshintsha. Kodwa kungekhona kwintanda, kodwa kuwe. Emva kwakho konke, ngokukhawuleza ukuba ityhupta edibeneyo yokuphuza amathambo iyakucasula, kwaye awuyi kukhankanya nayo, kuya kuba yinto ephosakeleyo. Amadoda angatshintsha ngaphandle kokuhlaselwa.
- Funda ukuthetha. Qala ubudlelwane kunye nomnqophiso malunga naluphi uhlobo lweengalo ezibukhali kumlingane womnye nomnye kungcono ukunqumla, ukulinda okanye ukungaqwalasela. Ngaloo ndlela, kwi-atmospheric emotion cup over cup of tea okanye ikhofi, xelela omnye ngomnye malunga nezikhonkco zakho kunye ne "imivumba". Kwaye ubhale ngcono - kwikholamu enye, into oyithandayo ukuyenza, kwelinye, ke oko kuphazamisayo. Thetha ngaphandle kwezikhalazo kunye namazwi abukhali. Kwaye kunjalo. Umzekelo: "Ndiyayithanda xa undanga kumtshini kwaye ubize imouse." Okanye ngokuphambene: "Andiyithandi ngokwenene ukuba yi-slobbered kwaye ndibizwa ngamagama ezinkomo ezilwanyana." Vumelana ukuba awuyi kukhubeka xa kukho izintlu ezibonakalayo, mhlawumbi, zaxutywa ngaphambili: "Andiyithandi ukutyelela abahlobo bakho. Kubonakala kum ukuba abayinyani. Nceda ukwenze ngaphandle kwam. Umsebenzi owona mkhulu kukungena ngokukrakra kwiimeko zokungena, ukunyaniseka nokwamkela inyaniso.
- Funda ukuthembela. Akukho naluphi ulwalamano ukuba akukho kholosa kubo. Musa ukubeka le "trick" kwisiseko sothando lwakho, awukwazi ukwakha ubudlelwane obuqinileyo obungayi kuhlaselwa phantsi kwekhwele, umona nokuhleba. Khumbula! Imvume yomntu ukuba ahlale nawe okanye isitampu kwipaspoti yakhe ayimenzeli ipropati yakho. Mcele imvume ngaphambi kokuba ahlole iipokethi zakhe ngaphambi kokuhlamba, esebenza kwikhompyuter yakhe okanye ebiza umnxeba wakhe. Ngoko awubonisi nje ukuhlonipha indawo yakhe, kodwa ubonisa umzekelo wendlela omele uyihlonele intsimi yakho. Ukuba ucinga ukuba i-spypionage izokukunceda ukwazi kangcono iinjongo zinyani zomntu wakho, uphosakele. Akukho mntu onjalo, onqwenela ukuba "nashodit," akakwazi ukugubungela ngeendlela ezifanelekileyo iingoma zakhe. Kwaye nangona sele bekubambelele emthunzini, awuyi kuze uthembe.
- Funda ukudala izithethe. Nayiphi na ubudlelwane ngamasiko athile kunye namasiko. Sithanda kwakhona ukuza kubazali bethu, apho yonke intsapho ibuthana ngeCawa sasemini ngesidlo sesina. Okanye ngoLwesihlanu, yonke intsapho iya kuthatha abantwana ukuya echibini, i-zoo okanye i-pizzeria. Iintsapho ezinamandla zinezithethe zazo, kwaye oku kwenza ukuba babumbene kwaye babumbene. Vumela kwaye uya kuba nezithethe zeso sibini. Hamba nyanga zonke kwi-cinema, ulungiselele iipikniksi zendabuko kwimeko kunye ne-disco, uqokelele kwiintsuku ezithile kunye nabahlobo uze udlale nabo kwi-"Monopoly". Okanye makube ngamasiko akho amancinane aza kukunceda ukwazi. Ngokomzekelo, cwangcisa iveki yokubulela, iveki yokupha, iveki engenamabango, njl. Mhlawumbi makube iveki yelizwe elithile. Iintsuku ezisixhenxe, utshintshisane amagama anomdla kwiilwimi zakhe okanye ulungiselele izitya zesizwe ezi-7 ekhitshini lakhe. Yenza ubuchule kwaye wenze ulwalamano lwakho lunomdla kwaye luqine.