Indlela yokuqonda umfazi osele esatshatileyo, ingumyeni wakhe onoxanduva? Kwaye kufuneka uyenze izinto ezininzi zemihla ngemihla kwaye ziyimfuneko, ngaphandle komtshato oza kuphazamiseka kwimizi, kwaye intsapho iya kuphuka ngokukhawuleza. Into yokuqala kunye neyona nto ibalulekileyo ukuba intsha ifanele iyiqonde kukuba ngoku ixanduva lwakhe kwintsapho. Ingqiqo yoxanduva, ngokulandelelana, ayinikiweyo kuwo wonke umntu kunye nendoda. Ebomini ngamnye wethu wadibana nabantu abanobuqilima abathembisa ukuba baninzi, bahlala belibale yonke into kwaye banqabile ukugcina ilizwi labo. Intloko yentsapho ayikwazi ukuba yinkcazelo. Kumele aqonde ukuba kuxhomekeke kuye ikakhulu: ingaba banendawo yokuhlala, ukutya, izambatho kunye nokunye okuninzi.
Jonga ngokugqithisileyo: Ngaba indoda yakho yaqonda ukuba yonke into ebomini ishintshile? Ukuba umfana othanda ukuchitha yonke imali yakhe kwizinto ezithile aze aphumule kunye nabahlobo bakhe, ngaba unokukunikela? Kodwa oku, nangona kunjalo, kuya kufuneka kwenziwe. Omnye umntu, kodwa umntu ngokupheleleyo, kodwa loo ndlela yobomi, eyayiyilungu, ngokuqinisekileyo akayi kukwazi ukusindisa. Kwaye oku, ngokwenene, kukuxinezeleka kakhulu kunoma yimuphi umntu, kungekhona nje umntu.
Umntu kufuneka azimele ezo zigqibo ngokuzithandela kwaye ngokuzithandela aziyeke ezinye iindlela azenzile ngayo kwiminyaka. Umyeni wakho kufuneka aqonde ukuba ebomini bentsapho, ingakumbi xa iqala nje, kukho iingxaki ezininzi zezezimali. Ngoko ke, indoda kufuneka ifune iindlela zokubonelela intsapho yakhe. Kwaye oko kuthetha ukuba kufuneka afune ukuya kwi-bowling, iiklabhu kunye nezinye izinto zokuzonwabisa, ezithatha imali eyaneleyo. Ngendlela, akukho mntu uthi ibhinqa akufanele lenze okufanayo. Kwiintsapho ezintle, idemokhrasi isoloko ilawula, kwaye yonke imihlali kunye nentlungu iyahlula ngokucacileyo kwisiqingatha. Kodwa, nangona kunjalo, nayiphi na indoda ifuna ukuba yintloko yokutya kwintsapho. Ukongezelela, ngoku akayena nje umfazi othandekayo, kodwa umlingane osemthethweni ofuna ukukholisa izinto ezimnandi kunye nokwenza konke ukuyenza ibe yindoda enhle kakhulu, ephathekayo kwaye, ngokwenene, uyonwabile kwaye uyonwabile. Intloko yentsapho ingaxhalabelekanga kuphela ngaye, kodwa kunye nabo banomdla, bebala ngoncedo lwakhe, inkxaso kunye nothando.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, izinto eziphathekayo akuyona yodwa ingxaki emele ixhalabele yintsapho. Iinkalo zokuziphatha nazo zibaluleke kakhulu kwiintsapho ezincinci. Ingakumbi xa kukho abantwana. Yibhekisise ngakumbi: ngaba umthandayo uyazi ukuba umntwana akahlali nje uvuyo olukhulu, kodwa naye uxinzelelo olukhulu. Ukuba umntu uvakalelwa kukuba akayilungele le nto, unokukuncenga ukuba ungabi msinya. Musa ukuthukuthela, kuba wena ngokwakho uyaqonda ukuba abantwana abayizinto zokudlala. Bamele banakekelwe iiyure ezingamashumi amabini anesine ngosuku, kwaye oku kunzima kwaye kunzima. Ukususela kumntwana wakho awuyi kuthatha imini okanye iholide. Oku kunokubangela ukucaphuka kunye nomsindo, kwaye abantwana abanakuze babe neengxaki ezinjalo, ngakumbi kubazali babo. Ngoko ke, phambi kokuba uthathe isinyathelo esinjalo, kufuneka ulinganise yonke into, uhlalutye kwaye uvume ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba ulungele (kunye nawe ngokwakho) ukunikela ubomi bakho kwesi sidalwa esincinane esiya kuxhomekeka ngokupheleleyo kuwe.
Kwakhona, ungalibali ukuba umntwana ufuna ukuphuhliswa rhoqo. Ngabantwana omele uxoxe, bonisa yonke into, ufunde iincwadi, ubale, imibala yefowuni kunye neeleta. Amadoda amaninzi akholelwa ukuba esemncinane, abantwana abaqondi nto. Le ngcamango iphosakeleyo. Lonke ulwazi lubekwa phantsi kwengqalelo kwaye luchaphazela ukuphuhliswa komntwana. Ingakumbi utyalomali kwiinyanga zokuqala kunye neminyaka yobomi, kungekudala uthetha, ufunda ukufunda nokubala. Kwaye, inkunzi imele ingabandakanyeki kumama kuphela, kodwa nobaba. Abantwana kufuneka bafumane umlinganiselo ofanayo nothando kunye neengqalelo kubazali bobabini. Nangona uyise ephelelwe ngumsebenzi, akanako, xa efika ekhaya, uhlala phantsi phambi kwekhompyutheni kwaye uphumule. Kubalulekile ukunika ubuncinane isiqingatha seyure kwixesha lakho kwonyana okanye intombi, uthetha naye, funda iindaba zobomi. Kwaye oku kufikelele kumntwana. Omdala umntwana, ixesha elide uyise kufuneka lihlawule kuye. Hlaziya le miba uze uqikelele ukuba le ntombazana iyaqonda ukuba ubukho okanye ukungabikho kwemfundo yindoda, kumlinganiselo omkhulu okanye ngaphantsi, ihlala ihlala ihlala ihlala ihlala ichaphazela ingqondo yabantu. Ngoko ke, ukuba abafuni ukuba abantwana bakhule kwinto ephosakeleyo kunye neyinkimbinkimbi, kubalulekile ukuba banike ixesha elininzi lokukhululeka. Ngaphezu koko, kuyavuya xa ubona iziphumo zomsebenzi wakho. Uthando kunye nentlonipho yabantwana ibe yinto yokuba umntu abe nexesha lokuziva, ulonwabo lwangoku.
Yintoni umntu ayenzayo xa ejongene nentsapho yakhe? Mhlawumbi ube ngumntu wokwenene. Nantoni na eyenzekayo, naziphi na iingxaki ezivela kwintsapho, abantu abaselula kufuneka babe soloko bekwazi ukugcina ingqondo yabo ingabonakaliyo, iphelile kwaye ipholile. Ekubeni kukho iingxaki ezininzi, sonke siyazi kakuhle kwaye siyayiqonda. Kwintsapho, kwimpilo yemihla ngemihla kukho izihlandlo zokuxabana, izigxeko kunye nokungavumelani. Amadoda kufuneka abonise ubulumko nokuqonda, ungalibali malunga nemizwa enjengomntu onothando, ukuqonda nokuvelana. Ukuba yonke into entsapho yakho iyona ndlela, ngoko umyeni wakho unembopheleleko kwaye kukho uxolo phakathi kwakho, thuthuzela kwaye lukhoyo, ulonwabo lwabantu.