Njengoko kuboniswa iipolonti, abafazi abancinci nabasetyhini kunye namadoda bakholelwa ukuba iminyaka yobudala "Balzac" inobungozi obuninzi bexesha elihle, linganikeleli nantoni na. Amantombazana amancinci kunye nabasetyhini bathanda le minyaka ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi kwaye bangathanda ukufikelela kuyo ngokukhawuleza.
Ngokweenkcukacha zentlalo, abaninzi abaphendulileyo bakholelwa ukuba kuneminyaka engaphezu kwama-40 "ukuba umfazi ufumene yena ngokwenene, eziva ukuba ngumntu omele ulwalamano olufanelekileyo, ubuntu bakhe buqhakazile, amandla akhe okudala kunye namandla akhe afikelele kwizinga eliphezulu. Kulo nyaka, umfazi uyazi kakuhle isidima sakhe kunye nokusilela kwaye angakwazi ukusebenza ngokufanelekileyo kubo, ufumana ubulumko obalulekileyo, intuition iyomelezwa. Ibhinqa iziva ikhula ngokomoya nangokomoya. Iba zimeleyo kwaye zizimeleyo, kukho ukuzinyamekela.
Ngokwalolu cwaningo, ngexesha elivuthiweyo kukuphakama komsebenzi, ukukhula kolwazi kunye nolwazi jikelele. Inzala iya kuba yanzila kwaye izinzileyo, amava afunekayo entlalo sele sele eqokelelwa, okuvumela ukuba lona wesifazane ngokwakhe asebenze ngokukhetha kwakhe kwiinkalo ezininzi zobomi, kuquka nobomi bakhe. Eli lixesha apho, okwesibini, ibhinqa linalo ithuba lokuzifumanisa kwaye likwazi ukuqonda amandla akhe angaphakathi.
Eli bhinqa sele sele "isiseko", ngesiseko apho ungaqala khona, xa kuyimfuneko, omnye ubomi. Kukhona "yonke into" yobomi: umsebenzi, intsapho, izindlu. Umfazi ovuthiweyo, njengomthetho, uzinzile ngokwengqondo, unengqiqo, ungaphantsi kwe-neurotic, unendlela efihlakeleyo kunye nechanekileyo kuyo yonke into. Unalo ubuhle bhinqa elivuthiweyo, umkhwa, sele useyakhele indlela yakhe. Konke oku kwongeza kwinto yokuba ibhinqa le "Balzac" ubudala lide lide ngokwaneleyo lokusebenzisa ezi nzuzo kwaye uphumelele empilweni.
Kodwa nangona kunjalo umfazi kule minyaka unako, nangona amava okuphila kwakhe, akanakuvakalelwa ngokupheleleyo ukuphelelwa amandla okubakho, angabonakaliyo. Ukungena kumgibe onjalo, ngokusemthethweni kule minyaka yobudala, umfazi udla ngokuziva ulahliwe, uloyiko lolo lwazi.
Le nkathazo iqhutyiswa yintetho ye "ukuwa" kwindleko yowesifazane ovuthiweyo emehlweni omntu, oqhelekileyo wexesha elidlulileyo, ngelixa "ixabiso" lendoda yalesikhathi kwimbono yowesifazane ikhula. Kulo meko yengqondo, ibhinqa liyakwenza enye yeendlela ezilandelayo:
- "Umntu omncinci": umfazi wenqaba ukuqonda ukukhula, uzama ukuba ngumncinci, abuyele ixesha, azenzele ukukholelwa "kwentsha yesibini".
- "Inkwenkwezi ehamba phambili": loo mfazi ucinga ukuba iminyaka eyona nto ibhetele yobomi bakhe sele idlulile - ukuthetha ngomfuziselo, "ubeka isiphambano kuye": "Masibe nomlilo wokuphila," ucinga.
- "Ukuxhatshazwa": ubhekane neengxaki zeminyaka eneminyaka ephakathi, loo ntokazi ibona indlela yokuphuma ukuze alahleke, "yena" kunye neminqweno yakhe, umsebenzi wakhe abonayo ekusebenziseni kuphela abantwana kunye nabazukulwana.
- "I-Realist": ibonakala ngokufanelekileyo ebomini, ifumanisa ubudala bayo ngokufanelekileyo kwaye inomdla. Ufuna ukufumana ebomini yonke into eyenzekayo kule minyaka kunye noko akuzange akwazi ukuyifeza ngaphambili - kwiminyaka emncinci.
Isisitshixo sokuqala kwimpumelelo phantse bonke abaphengululi beengqondo bathi ukuzithemba. Ukuzithemba - inxalenye kukho inkqubo yobomi kunye nenjongo yayo. Ukuba ucinga ukuba awufanelanga ulonwabo, awuyi kuthatha nawaphi na amanyathelo okuphumeza ubomi obonwabileyo. Kwaye ngokuthe ngqo.
Isinyathelo esilandelayo kukukhethwa kweenjongo ezifikelelekayo. Kuqinisekiswe ukuba umntu uphumelela impumelelo kwaye uyagxininisa ngengqondo ekuphunyezweni ngempumelelo kwezi njongo ezingayi kuba nzima kuye okanye zilula kakhulu. Ukhetha indima yengqondo "yomninimzi" ukuba iinjongo zakho ziphakathi kwakho. Ukuba umgomo kulula kakhulu - uqala ukuwubeka ukuze uphephe ukungaphumeleli, kwaye ungaphumeli. Ukuba kunzima kuwe - uqale usetshenziswe ukunqoba.
Kodwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo bethu ubomi benza izilungiso zabo kwiinjongo esizibekayo. Kubonakala ukuba, ukuze sifinyelele impumelelo esiyifunayo, iinjongo zethu kufuneka zibe ziphezulu kunokuba sinokuphumelela. Ngoko umntu ofuna ukugibela umlambo ukuya kwindawo ethile elunxwemeni olubhekiselele, akadityanga ngqo kwinqanaba elifunayo, kodwa kwelinye indawo engummiselo. Kodwa ukususela ekuqhubheni kwamanje, kuyawa ngqo apho ifuna khona.
Ngokweengcali ezininzi zeengqondo, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ibhinqa, ngokukodwa ekukhuleni, ukuhlakulela umkhwa wokuphendula ngokukhawuleza iingxaki kunye nosongelo kwaye rhoqo, nantoni na eyenzekayo, hlala ujolise kwiinjongo ezikhethiweyo. Thatha ingqalelo kwiimeko zonke zobomi. Umthetho ngokuzithemba nangokuzimisela xa kwenzeka imeko yeengxaki, usabele kwiingxaki ngaphandle kokugodla, uziphephe kwaye ungacacisi ukusilela okuzayo, kwaye ulwe, unqobe kwaye ususe imithintelo ngamandla kunye neengqiqo, ugxininise ngamandla akho nobuchule.
Emva kokuba nabafazi abaphumeleleyo bebhalisana nabo kwiindawo zonke zobomi, izazi zeengqondo zifumene, ngaphandle kokunye, eziqhelekileyo, izibonakaliso kubo: umxhelo, ukukwazi ukubona umbono nakwiimeko ezibonakala ngathi "zifile." Ngokombono wabo, baphumelele ebomini ngenxa yokuba, ukuba bangene kwiimeko ezibalulekileyo ezingaqinisekanga, bakhetha indlela yokuxhobisa ngokwabo, ukuzakhela ngokwabo, babheka imeko njengoko kubangela ukuba bahlakulele kwaye bakhule, kunokuphelelwa lithemba baze baphonsa izandla.
Kwaye inqaku lokugqibela elibalulekileyo ekuphumeleleni: ngokweengcali zeengqondo, ukwenzela ukuba uphumelele, kufuneka ukuba uzikhethele indawo eziphambili zokuzifeza. Umntu ngamnye akanalo ininzi-engabi ngaphezu kwelishumi, kodwa kufuneka aqondwe ngokucacileyo. Oku kubaluleke kakhulu kwibhinqa eliphakathi kweminyaka, xa ukujika okubukhali kwenzekayo ebomini bakhe. Kuninzi kuxhomekeke kwindlela onokwenza ngayo izicwangciso zobomi obungakumbi kunye nendlela onokuyiqonda into ebaluleke ngoku ngoku.
Ngoko, ukukholelwa kuwe, kwimeko yokuphumelela; ephakamileyo ngokwaneleyo, kodwa okwenene kwiinjongo zakho; ukukwazi ukuvuya ngexesha elinzima kunye nokuzithemba kwizinto ezibalulekileyo kuwe ngoku - makungashiyi, kwaye impumelelo ebomini iqinisekisiwe kuwe nayiphi na iminyaka.