Okokuqala, ngamnye umfazi kufuneka azenzele ulawulo oluqhelekileyo lolo suku kwaye aphumle kwaye angaboni ngokungazifumani zonke iintlobo zemithetho - impilo yengane incike ngokupheleleyo kunina.
Ngoko ungayigcina njani isimo sengqondo ngexesha lokukhulelwa kwaye ube ngeli xesha uhlale uzinzile kwaye uhambelana?
Ukuba ulungele kwaye ufuna ukuzithembisa ukukhulelwa okuzinzile, oku kufuna ukuba ube nokuzola kwangaphakathi, zama ukuzenzela, uvakalelo oluhle kwaye lunomdla, kungekhona ukuba uguquke rhoqo, ungavumeli ukuba iimvakalelo ezinjalo zibuhlungu njengokuba ukwesaba nokuxhalabisa kuqale. Kukho ubungqina obuninzi bokubika ukuba impilo enhle yomzimba kunye nokuziphatha okulungileyo komama ozayo kunokuchaphazela kakhulu ukuzalwa okuqhelekileyo, kodwa kunye nempilo kunye nemeko yengane ezayo. Khumbula ukuba okokuqala uqala ukuthetha nomntwana wakho ukususela ngexesha lokukhulelwa kwakhe.
Kukho iintlobo ezininzi zezinto ezinokuthi zenze zonke iimeko ngexesha lonke lokukhulelwa kwakho. Ukuxhalabisa ngokugqithiseleyo kunye nokunyamezela rhoqo ngenye yeengxaki eziqhelekileyo eziqhelekileyo ezihlala zixhalabisa abaninzi abafazi ngexesha lokukhulelwa. Abantu abaninzi banxulumene kakhulu neentlanzi, ezenza umonakalo wokukhulelwa, sele sele ukhululekile ngokomzimba. Kodwa ukuziphatha ngokweqile kubangela iziphumo ezimbi. Ukwesaba kunye noxinzelelo oluqhubekayo kubangela ukuba ama-hormone athile ashukunywe, ezo izazinzulu ezicinga ukuba zinokubangela ukukhulelwa kwesisu okanye ukuzala kwangaphambili.
Into engcono kakhulu enokuyenza ukuze uqinisekise ukuphuhliswa kakuhle kwentsana, kukunciphisa ubunzima bomzwelo kunye nomzimba ngexesha lokukhulelwa kwakho konke. Ngezantsi zikhona iingcebiso ezincedo kwaye ezincedo eziza kukunceda ukunciphisa uxhaphalo lweentlanzi, ukuqinisekisile ukuba isiphumo esivuyisayo sokukhulelwa kwakho kwaye uqinisekise ukuvakalelwa:
- Kubalulekile ukuvuma ukuba sele ukhulelwe. Qonda ukuba abanye besetyhini bahlala bexhala, ngenxa yokuba basebenze emsebenzini, apho kuyimfuneko ukusebenza ngokuthe ngqo kwishedyuli, kwaye bazame ukwenza umsebenzi wesiqhelo esifanayo, ngaphambili bengakhangela ukukhulelwa. Mhlawumbi ngezinye iinkalo imeko yakho iya kubonakala, kwaye kuya kufuneka uphumeze, ucinge. Musa ukuphatha ukukhulelwa kwakho njengomthwalo onzima, zama ukucinga ukuba eli lixesha elihle nelomnene owanikwa lona ukuze ukwazi ukulungiselela ukuzalwa komntwana. Musa ukukhawuleza, kufuneka ufumane ixesha lokuphumla, uzenzele kwaye ukhethe ixesha lokuphumla nokuphumula ngexesha lonke lokukhulelwa.
- Yeka ukuhlala uzigcina, ukuba ufuna ukwazi indlela yokugcina imizwa ngexesha lokukhulelwa. Ukulinda umntwana kuza kwenza utshintsho ebomini bakho. Kufanelekile ukuchitha ixesha elide lokuzonwabisa. Unokuba nezinye iimpawu, njengobuthakathaka kunye nesiphithiphithi, esingasayi kudlula ngokukhawuleza. Kwenzeka ukuba abanye abafazi abakhulelweyo kufuneka bachithe ixesha labo belele embhedeni ngexesha lokukhulelwa. Ukuba unako ukuqonda ukuba ezinye izinto zingaba phantsi kolawulo lwakho olubukhali, oku kuya kunceda ufumane zonke iinketho ezinokuphucula umvakalelo wakho ngexesha lokukhulelwa. Kufuneka ujikelezwe kuphela ngabantu abathandekayo kuwe, bathandekayo, oku kuya kukuchaphazela ngakumbi isimo sakho sengqondo kunye nentlalo-ntle. Yamkela uncedo kubantu abasondele kuwe. Ungalibali ukucela abantu ukuba bancede xa unako ukuxhamla inkxaso yabo. Akufanele uzame ukuhlangabezana nazo zonke iingxaki. Ukuba abantu abasondezayo banikela uncedo lwabo, musa ukuzama ukukhawuleza ngoko, kodwa vuyisa ukuba abantu abakubonayo bayakuthanda bavuyiswe ngawe kunye nawe.
- Enye into engeyona nto ebaluleke kakhulu, ekufuneka ihlawulwe ngokukhawuleza ngexesha lokukhulelwa kukunxibelelana nabantu. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ibhinqa ivulekele iingxoxo kunye neengxoxo kunye nomlingane wakhe ngexesha lokukhulelwa. Musa ukulibala malunga nokuba ukukhulelwa ngethuba elivakalayo, kwaye abanye abafazi banokufumana iindlela ezingaqhelekanga zokunxibelelana ngexesha lokukhulelwa. Musa ukucinga ukuba iqabane lakho li-clairvoyant. Ukucinga kwangento oyisiphukuphuku kwachaphazela kakhulu ubudlelwane obuninzi. Ukuba umfazi unenkathazo, umzekelo, uxinezelekile, uxinezelekile okanye ude umsindo, kuyimfuneko ukuzama ukuxelela abanye abathandayo. Kufuneka uxelele abantu ukuba uhlangabezana neengxaki zomzimba nezokuziphatha, kwaye indlela ekuchaphazela ngayo. Ezi zenzo ezilula ziya kubanceda baqonde le ntokazi, ingaba le nkxwaleko iye yachaphazela njani impilo yakho, ngoko bazama ukufumana indlela engcono yokunceda ngexesha lokukhulelwa. Kubalulekile ukuba uhlanganyele rhoqo ukwesaba kwakho ngengcali onokukubona, njengamachiza anamhlanje anemilinganiselo eyaneleyo kwisitokisini, kuquka neengqondo, ezinokukunceda ukuba uphinde uxolo lwengqondo. Umfazi okhulelweyo kufuneka afikelele ekuzalweni kwengane yakhe ngoxolo, ethembekileyo, nesiphumo sokubhokoxa, ngokuziva ukuba akanakuphila ngaphandle kwengane yakhe, oya kumthanda ngayo yonke intliziyo yakhe.
Ukuba awuzange uzame ukuhlalisa isisu, kufuneka uqiniseke ngoku, kuba unomphumo onokubaluleka kwithuba lonke lokukhulelwa. Ukusilalisa kunokuba luncedo kakhulu kumanyathelo okuqala okukhulelwa, xa umzimba wakho uthwala umthwalo onzima, isiqhamo osiphethe kakuhle ngentliziyo yakho. Kukho oogqirha abanekhono abanomdla wokubamba kokubeletha kwiiklinikhi ezahlukeneyo, kwimiba yamveli yeendawo zokuhlala ezihlukeneyo. Zama ukuphumla ngokuphindaphindiweyo, ubukele iifilimu ezintle kwaye uchithe ixesha elide ngaphandle. Phumla nomthandi wakho kumaphandleni okanye ngaphesheya. Vumela ukuba uhlale uhlala phezulu!