Iingcali zengqondo zithi ubuhlobo nomntu buba kunye nomfazi okholelwa kuye. Ukuba le ntokazi iqinisekile ukuba amadoda ahlala efuna isizathu sokusondela kunye nentombi, ngoko uya kuzikhethela, ngokuzithandela okanye ngokungathandabuzeki, amqhube ngamanyathelo angqongqo. Kubonakala ukuba into yokuba sinokuba ngumhlobo nendoda kuxhomekeke ekubeni sinokukholwa kangakanani kule nto kwaye silulungele.
Nangona kunjalo, ngamanye amaxesha kwenzeka ukuba nabasetyhini bakholelwa ebuhlotsheni phakathi kwabantu abangqingiliyo bajamelana neemeko apho, phantsi kobuhlobo bokuba ngumhlobo, umntu uzama ukuzithemba aze anqobe intliziyo yowesifazane, amthande ukuba athande okanye umtshato. Kwiimeko ezininzi ezizingcipheko, amadoda angakwazi ukufihla umnqweno wabo wokulala ngesantombazana esingenakwenzeka. Kwaye kuye kwafika kuye, yaphela ngokupheleleyo ebomini bayo.
Ukuba uhlushwa yingxaki, indlela yokufumanisa ubungano phakathi kwendoda nomfazi okanye uthando, okokuqala, kufuneka umntu aqonde, kodwa ngaba lo buhlobo? Ubungane abubonakali nje ngomnqweno wokuxhoma kunye kunye, ukusela ikofi okanye ukuya kwidlo sasemini ngexesha lokuphuka phakathi kwenkqubo ye-ofisi. Umhlobo uhlala ngumhlobo kwiimeko ezinzima. Unceda ekuphumeni kweengxaki, ulungele ukuphulaphula kwaye uya kuhlala uncedisa ubuncinane ngeengcebiso. Ukuba ubona ubungqina ngempumelelo, kwaye ubona ukuba phakathi kwakho nendoda okanye phakathi kwendoda yakho kunye nesithintelo sokuthi uyisisongelo, sekuyisikhathi sokunyuka kwisigaba esilandelayo-ukujonga iimpawu zothando lomntu. Nazi ezinye ezimbalwa zazo.
Ukwanda kweemvakalelo
Indoda ethandwayo, kwindawo yokuqala, iyayiyeka ngaphandle kwemizwa. Yaye nangona amadoda amaninzi ayazifihla njani iimvakalelo zabo, unokubona ukuba ngaba ujongeka okanye u-jitters xa uthetha ngeentombi zakhe. Ngamanye amaxesha amadoda aqala ukubonisa ukunganeliseki okanye ukukhathazeka, ukuba abanye abantu bababuze malunga nohlobo lolwalamano kunye nenkosikazi ethile. Kodwa ukuba uyabona ukuba uyamkhaphazela ngamaphiko kwaye kukho umchamo, kwaye kuye kuye kuvuya kwaye kuyamkholisa, kunokwenzeka ukuba oku akukhona nje ubuhlobo, yintando.
Isifiso sokunyamekela
Lo mqondiso unzima kakhulu kwaye ungenangqondo. Umnqweno wokunceda, unonophelo olunokuthi lube lukhona kubuhlobo obulula, kodwa ukuba lukhulu kakhulu, kwaye xa eqala ukubeka phambili ibhinqa elithile ngaphezu kwazo zonke ezinye, kunokwenzeka ukuba sele eseluthandweni.
Iinjongo zesondo
Indoda engengomhlobo nje, kodwa ulangazelela ngakumbi, kaninzi ibonisa umdla wakhe wokulala ngesinxeba kunye nalo mfazi. Unako "ukucubungela" umhlaba, ukuxelela amahlaya kunye namabali ngesihloko esithandabuzayo, unokuzama ukuxoxa ngeengxaki ezintle, kodwa kungekhona nje, kwaye uzama ukufumanisa kakuhle indlela umfazi oxazulula ngayo iingxaki ezifanayo kunye namadoda akhe, nokuba ngaba uneengxaki. Ujonge kwijiso 90% yexesha abaxubusha ngayo, kwaye abanakukujonga ngaphandle. Ekugqibeleni, unokuphazanyiswa phakathi kwesivakalisi, ekhonkxwa yiminyango yakhe - ngendlela aqondisa ngayo iipiliti zakhe okanye adibanise umlenze wakhe.
Kwenzeka ukuba indoda ibonisa intshukumo yesondo ngokuthe ngqo, kodwa umbuzo awuyiyo indlela yokujonga ukuba ubuhlobo phakathi kwendoda nomfazi bubathanda. Yaye malunga nokuba kwaye ufuna ukuqhubeka nobudlelwane. Inyaniso kukuba phakathi kwabahlobo bezesondo ezahlukeneyo ngezikhathi ngezihlandlo banokuthi "badumise iintlanzi". Ngamanye amaxesha nokuba oko kuthiwa "ubulili bobubele" kwenzeka. Nangona kunjalo, oku akuthethi ukuba oku kuya kuba kukuphela kobudlelwane. Abahlobo abaneminyaka emininzi yamava bathi kaninzi ngenxa yobuhlobo ababaxolelayo kwaye abazilungiseleli kwixesha elinjalo, beqonda ukuba ngokukhawuleza "ukuxhamla" phakathi kwabahlobo banokuba.
Uhlala ehleli ixesha
Abahlobo banokuncedana, ngaphandle kwalo. Kodwa ngokungafani nabathandi, bayazi umlinganiselo kule ngxaki. Abayi kukhwela ukuxazulula imibuzo yomnye phakathi kobusuku kunye nokungafani nakubonqabileyo-ukuba kukho into eyoyikisayo eyenzekayo. Indoda ethandwayo iyimfama kule ngxaki. Unako ukukhawuleza ukuxazulula imibuzo engumntu oyisiphukuphuku kunye neengxaki ezinokuthi "ngumhlobo" wakhe wesifazane, nokuba usengozini yakhe, ubuthongo okanye impilo.
Kukho ezinye iinkalo zomgangatho. Ukuba awukuthinteli iingxaki, ngoko imeko eqhelekileyo indoda ethandwayo iziphatha njengokuthi uyakhohlwa malunga nexesha. Uyakwazi ukunqumla isitimela sokugqibela, akajongi iwashi, uyayigcina iifowuni kunye nezikhumbuzo zezihlobo xa edibana naye.
Uyavuya ukuyizisa bonke abahlobo
Amadoda avaliwe kakhulu kwimicimbi yobuhlobo bomntu. Bona kunye nomfazi wabo osemthethweni bangaba neentloni ukuzisa amaqabane abo kwishishini okanye ngabahlobo ukuqeqeshwa. Kwaye kuphela umfazi owela emthandweni, ngokuqhelekileyo akafuni ukubonisa nabani na ixesha elide. Kwaye emva nje kokuba iimvakalelo zakhe zomelele kwaye zizinzile, loo mntu uqala ukumqhubela phambili kumhlobo kunye nabahlobo, amxelele oodade, abazalwana kunye nabazali.
Ulibala malunga nabanye abafazi
Ubuhlobo phakathi kwendoda kunye nomfazi udla ngokuqala ukuba bayalila "kwintsimbi" ngenxa yobuhlobo obunalo. Bavuyiswa ukufunda imbonakalo yesini esahlukileyo kwingxaki yabo, phu laphula iingcebiso ezicokisekileyo kunye nengqiqo.
Ukuba awufuni ngobuhlobo ubungane nomntu ukuba ahambe kwinqanaba lobudlelwane obuhlukeneyo, kufuneka uvale i-alamu emva kokuqala ukungafuni ukudibana nabo bonke abanye abafazi, ngaphandle kohlobo lwakhe. Oku kuthetha ukuba ukuwa othandweni akumvumeli ukuba akhe ubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo nabani na ngaphandle koyintanda yakhe. Kule ngongoma, indoda ingonakalisa ubuhlobo besikhathi eside kunye nomnye umfazi, ukuba kukho.
Uluhlu lweendlela zokuhlukanisa "ubuhlobo nje" oluvela kwezinye iintsebenziswano luyaqhubeka. Nangona kunjalo, isiphelo esifuna ukuyenza kukuba umfazi oqapheleyo onokuzifumana kakuhle akayi kuphinda umva xa ubuhlobo nomntu buqala ukuqhubela kwenye into. Ukwenza oku, kufuneka uvulekele ukuqwalaselwa kwaye unakekele kakuhle loo ndoda. Emva koko yonke into iya kubonakala kwaye yonke into iya kuhlaselwa.