Uninzi lwabazali kule meko baqala ukuzibuza umbuzo: "Kutheni le nto yenzeke kum umntwana wam? ". Emva koko kuza ukudideka, kwaye emva koko kukhwankqiswa: "Yintoni eyaziwayo kunye esondeleyo ngoku ecinga ngoku? ". Emva koko kuza ixesha leminye imibuzo kunye nezikhalazo kuye: "Ndingumfundisi ongenalutho! "Okanye" Mhlawulise ukuba uqonde konke! "Ngamnye wabazali unesiphango sengqondo kule meko. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuba abazali bayayabela njani kule meko. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ngaba le yimeko yokuqala, okanye ngaba nje baqaphela ukweba komntwana wabo okokuqala?
Ngokuqinisekileyo, kubi kakhulu ukuba umntwana eyeba imali. Iingcamango "zesela", "ukweba" kunye "nokweba" zibi kwaye zingenakunyulwa kubantwana. Ngenxa yokuba ilizwe lomntwana lizele iingcamango kunye nehlabathi langempela kuye lingenakulinganiswa. Umntwana akakwazi ukuzimela ngokuzimeleyo ukuba isenzo sakhe siyiphutha. Ukongeza, abazali bafanele baphathe le meko ngokwexesha lomntwana. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba umntwana usemncinci kwaye engakabi neminyaka emihlanu ubudala, isinyathelo sakhe asinakubizwa ngokuthi ukuba. Abancinci abayaziyo into enjalo ngokuthi "yam" okanye "umntu womnye". Ukususela kwiminyaka emihlanu okanye emithandathu umntwana uya kukwazi ukuqonda izinto zezinto kumntu. Ngoko ke, ukuya kwiminyaka emihlanu, akakwazi ukuzibamba okanye ukuthanda kwakhe. Uya kufuna ukuthatha into kwaye uya kuthatha le nto. Kuye akukho nto enjengexabiso lezinto. Kodwa abantu abadala abayithobeli ngolu hlobo kwimeko kwaye baqala ukwesaba ukuba umntwana wabo uba imali. Ngokuthakazelisayo, abayi kuthuka xa umntwana ethatha ipulasitiki ngaphandle kwemfuneko, kwaye ukuba uthatha into ebalulekileyo, baqala ukumgxeka. Ngomntwana, ezi zinto azikho umdla kuzo zonke ngenxa yexabiso lawo. Wayelandela nje ukucinga kwakhe.
Kwiimeko ezinjalo, umntwana ufuna nje ukucacisa ukuba yeyiphi impahla yomntu. Awukwazi ukuthatha izinto zakho ngaphandle kwemvume. Ukongezelela, abazali kufuneka bakhumbule ukuba abaninzi abantwana abasemncinci ubudala bazingca. Bakhuthazwa ngumnqweno wokufumana into okanye ukuthatha oko bafuna. Abazali mabafundise umntwana wabo ukuba athathe nayiphi na into ngemvume yomnini.
Ngendlela, kukho izizathu ezahlukeneyo zokuba abantwana bathabatha umsebenzi womnye umntu ngaphandle kwemvume.
Ukubona umdlalo omnandi umdlalo, umntwana udla ngokuba nomnqweno ovuthayo wokufumana le nto. Ngoko, elinde ithuba, uthabatha ngokukhawuleza le midlalo yokudlala. Isizathu salesi senzo sinokuchazwa ngento yokuba abantwana abangaqhelani nokuhlukana kwezinto "kum", "wakho" okanye "umntu womnye". Awukwazi ukubiza umnxeba ngokukhawuleza. Ufuna nje ukucacisa ukuba uthathe omnye umntu, kodwa akulungile ukuthabatha abanye abantu. Abazali babo kufuneka banikezele iinkcazo zabo ngetyala lokufunda. Umntwana uqaphele ukuba ubandezeleka njani enye inyane eliye lalahlekelwa yinto yokudlala.
Kukho imeko xa umntwana ethatha imali ngaphandle kwemvume yokwenza isipho kunina. Lo msebenzi uhambelana nokungabikho komntwana kokuqonda kwecala elibi lokuba. Wayefuna ukuba indoda yakhe yasekuhlaleni imnandi. Nangona kunjalo, akaqondi ukuba wenza into engalunganga kule nto. Ukongeza, umntwana angabonisa ukuba "ufumene" imali. Kufuneka achaze ukuba igama elithi "elifunyenweyo" alivumelekanga kulo mzekelo. Imali ayifumeneyo ayikho yakhe, ngokufanelekileyo, ayikwazi ukuyigcina. Abantwana ukususela kumncinane kufuneka bachaze ukuba "ifunyenwe" imali okanye izinto aziyi kuba yipropati yomntu owabafumanayo. Kodwa ebomini bobubomi, ngaba abazali bahlala bekwenza into efanelekileyo, befumanisa kwisitalato okanye kwenye indawo izinto ezingalindelekanga okanye imali. Umntwana ufunda kumzekelo womzali. Ukuba uhlala ebona ukuba abazali bakhe bathabatha izinto kwiofisi okanye kubamelwane babo, omnye umzekelo awudingi.
Ngendlela, abantwana bahlala beba, bethanda ingqalelo. Ngaloo ndlela, banqwenela ukutsala ingqalelo kubadala okanye oontanga njengomnikazi wento.
Ngamanye amaxesha umntwana unokuba ngenxa yokuba uvakalelwa kukuba akanalo nto abahlobo bakhe abanalo. Ngokomzekelo, ngoku abaninzi abantwana banemali yeendleko zeefowuni. Ukuba ngaba abazali abanalo imali kwiindleko ezinjalo zomntwana, kungekudala okanye emva koko uza kufumana iindlela zokwanelisa iimfuno zakhe. Abantwana abadala baqala ukweba ngokugqithiseleyo ukufumana amandla okanye ukulawula. Kwenzeka ukuba umntwana weba ukuba abuyisele umntu.
Indlela yokuziphatha xa umntwana eyeba imali? Okokuqala, abazali mabaqale baqonde izizathu zento eyenzekayo. Emva koko kufuneka ucinge ngento eholele umntwana kulo msebenzi. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuqonda ngokucophelela yonke imiba yeli gama. Yithobela ingqalelo, nokuba umntwana ulethe imali ngokufihlakeleyo okanye uyazifihla. Mhlawumbi wayefuna ukunyamekela? Ngaba imali ingamnika amandla phezu kwabanye?
Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba umntwana uziva enetyala? Xa befumene imali, abazali kufuneka baveze ngokungaqinisekanga, imali ibuyiselwe kumnini. Oko kujikeleze kunye nabathandekayo, kwaye uluntu lulahla ukweba.
Abazali, emva kokufumanisa ubusela, kufuneka baqine, kodwa umntwana kufuneka abe nesihe. Kuyimfuneko ukuvusa kuye ingqiqo. Emva koko ufuna ukumnceda ukulungisa impazamo. Xa befumene isenzo esingalunganga, abazali kufuneka babonise ubuchule nokuzimisela. Xa umntwana eqonda ityala lakhe, kubalulekile ukugxininisa iimvakalelo neemvakalelo zabantu abathandekayo, kunye nabantu abalahlekelwe yimali okanye izinto. Kubalulekile ukunceda umntwana ukuba aphume kwimeko ngaphandle kokuthotywa. Kwakhona, amanyathelo kufuneka athathwe ukuze abuyiselwe okanye abuyisele umonakalo. Akukhuthazwa ukuba kusongela umntwana ngamapolisa ukuba wenqaba ukuvuma ityala lakhe. Akunakwenzeka ukubonisa ubundlobongela, ubungozi obucacileyo bubangela umntwana ekupheleni kokufa. Awukwazi ukubiza amagama ahlambalazayo kunye nesela. Ukuqhuba ingxoxo eyimfihlo kunye naye, kungekhona ityala. Musa ukuthetha nomntwana wakho kuluntu. Ukuba abazali baqala ukuziphatha kakubi, umntwana akayi kubathemba. Khumbula, ukuba kunokuba ngumda wokuba ngumntwana kunye neengxaki zeentsapho kunye neempazamo ekukhuliseni.