Ekubeni sithetha ngesihloko sokuba kutheni amadoda enqabe ibhinqa ebudlelwaneni obusondelene naye, intetho iya kuqhubeka malunga nobubele. Kubonakala ngathi iikati zizilwanyana ezinothando ezithandanayo, ukufudumala noxolo. Kodwa makhe sicinge, ngomzuzu, ukuba sizisebenzise iiyure ezandleni zabo, sitshatile, siyamanga ... Luhlobo luni lokuphendula oluya kubanjwa? Kunene, uya kuqala ukukhangela, ezama ukuphuma. Esi sidalwa esithandayo. Ngoku makhe bathathe intshaba yabo-inja, okanye intshontsho, okusemthethweni, engabalulekanga. Ngoko, zama ukwenza okufanayo nenja. Ngeke kuphele imizuzu emihlanu, sithatha inja ephakathi, kwaye ingeyiyo inja ehoxisiweyo. Ngoku kufuneka sicingisise. Kubalulekile ukubeka lo mfazi, kwindawo yecati, kunye nendoda-kwindawo yenja. Ngeli xesha, kufuneka sikhohlwe malunga neengxabano phakathi kwezi ntlobo, sithatha kuphela imikhwa yabo kunye nabalinganiswa.
Kuyavela ukuba ibhinqa-lithanda uthando, kungekhona kakhulu, umntu-ngokuchaseneyo akayithandi uthando, yena unomdla kwaye udlala.
Kutheni amadoda ephika umfazi osekuhlaleni? Oku kubangelwa kukuba umntu akasetyenziselwa ukunyanzelisa. Le isondo esomeleleyo. Kumele akhusele intombazana, kwaye ingakhathazeki. Ngoko ukhulelwe ngokwemvelo, kodwa emva koko, amantombazana akhathaleli. Bafuna ukuthetha nendoda malunga nezihloko ezikufutshane, malunga nobudlelwane, kunye namadoda ayetshenziswanga ukuthetha ngezinto ezinje, kwaye kunjalo.
Ndingathini, emva koko, ukukholisa indoda kwintetho enjalo? Apha, kwakhona, kufuneka ucinge ngokuchanekileyo. Emva koko, akunakwenzeka ukuba akafuni nto nto evela kuwe. Mhlawumbi ufuna ukuthetha nawe, naye. Kufuneka ufumanise kuye ukuba yintoni isihloko. Emva kokuba uqokelele ulwazi oluyimfuneko, kuya kufuneka ukhethe umzuzu ofanelekileyo wencoko. Kufuneka akhululeke ngokupheleleyo, enhle. Mcele ukuba akhulume naye ngesihloko esikuthandayo. Ngokukhawuleza uqala ukukhanyela, esithi uxakekile okanye into ethile. Kufuneka ukhankanywe ngesihloko esiya kuthakazelisa. Kufuneka kuzwakala ukuze aqonde ukuba ukuba uthetha naye, unokufumana isabelo sakhe 'sokuzonwabisa.' Ngokuqhelekileyo le ndlela isebenza. Kufuneka ukwazi ukuba umntu unomlingana womntwana, kufuneka uziphatha naye, phantse ukuba nomntwana.
Amadoda ayenqabileyo ibhinqa elisondeleyo kuba bayayenqaba kwiminqweno yabo. Nangona kunjalo, ekuqaleni ukubonakalisa ukufuphi kuyimfuneko kuphela kwindawo yokuhlala ekhaya, indoda ayiyi kuvuya ukuba uya kuqala ukwenza kwindawo ephakamileyo. Uya kuba nexhala yintoni abanye abaya kucinga ngayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kutyhilile.
Enye into enomdla kukuba abantu abavumelani nazo zonke izihloko kuzo zonke izihloko. Kukho, umzekelo, izihloko ezinjalo, okulungileyo ukuthetha nomhlobo.
Kwaye kwakhona, ukuba sibuyela kwilizwe lezilwanyana, indoda iyala umfazi ohlala kuyo kuba banako. Ungazami ukunyanzelisa umntu oko ayenayo kakade. Kuya kubakho ngokucacileyo. Kungcono ukulahla oonxibelelwano omnye nomnye kwithuba elithile. Emva koko, xa ufuna ukunyamezela, unokufumana oko wakufunayo ekuqaleni.
Isizathu esivame ukuba umntu akafuni ukuthetha nonke, kodwa ebuyela ekhaya evela emsebenzini aze abukele ithelevishini, kukuba udekile emsebenzini emzimbeni nasemzimbeni. Ngeli xesha alilungele nantoni na, ufuna nje ukuphumla. Kumele unikezele kuye, kwaye ngeveki-kuthetha naye.
Ukuze uphumule, ungaya naye kwi-cinema, kwindawo yokutyela, kakuhle, okanye kwezinye iindawo zoluntu. Qiniseka ukuba umbuze oko angathanda, kodwa ungayikhohlwa ngeminqweno yakho. Makhe aphumle kunye nabahlobo, emva koko angavuma ukuthetha nawe.
Ukuba uya kukukhanyela ngesondo, ngoko ke isizathu esiyinhloko apha kukukhathala ngokomzimba. Nangona oku kuyinqabileyo, kuba amadoda alawula le ngxaki. Kukho ukhetho olungamthandi ngesondo, ngoko ke wanquma ukuya "ecaleni", into enengqiqo, nangona kukuhlambalaza.
Enye ingxaki ingaba nempilo. Thetha naye ngale sihloko, kuba umntu akazivumeli ngokwakhe, uzama ukufihla ingxaki aze ayisombulule yodwa, ngaphandle koluncedo lwabanye.
Le ngxaki yayifundwa ngokucophelela ngomzekelo wabantu abayi-4000, kule mvavanyo kubini amadoda nabasetyhini bathatha inxaxheba. Iqela eliphambili lalibandakanya abathandi, izibini ezitshatileyo, abantu abangatshati kunye nabatshatileyo. Bonke babuzwa umbuzo malunga nesondo, oko kubakhangayo kuyo, kwaye oko kungabangeki kubo. Njengoko kwavela, le mbhangqwana yayineziphumo ezibangel 'umdla. Njengoko kwavela, endaweni ethile malunga no-70% wabantu abadliwano-ndlebe bahlala ndawonye ngaphandle kwesondo. Ezi zizo zibini ezitshatileyo ezihlala kunye kunye neenyanga ezili-10 okanye ngaphezulu. Ekuqaleni kobomi bentsapho kunye kunye nesondo bonke bebonke babalaseleyo, yena, bekunjalo, bekuninzi, rhoqo, akukho nto inokuchaphazela isondo. Akukho msebenzi, akukho uxinzelelo, akukho ukukhathala. Kodwa, emva kwexesha elithile, ukukhanga ngesondo kunye nomfazi okanye umfazi waqala ukuhla, isondo, kunye namanyathelo amancinci, yaqala ukuba ngumsebenzi ongaqhelekanga, okwenzeka ngoku kuphela ukuhlangabezana neemfuno ezingokwenyama, kungekhona ngenxa yesifiso sobulili somlingane.
Njengoko sifunde nje, kukho izinto ezininzi ezithintela ukuphuhliswa komtshato, indlela esebenza kakuhle kuphela yothando. Kufuneka uqonde ngokucacileyo ukuba isondo asihlanganisi nje ukuhlanganiswa kwamalungu amabini, kodwa ngabantu ababini kuphela abaneempawu zabo. Kwakhona, sibuyela othandweni. Emva koko, le nkqubo ibizwa ngokuba yiyo ngokufanelekileyo, kwaye kungekhona nje ngoku, oko kukuthi: "Yenza uthando", kwaye "ungabi ngesondo." Icandelo lesibini liyisenzo nje, kodwa okokuqala ... Xa uqonde ngokupheleleyo le mpawu, uya kuqonda ukuba awuyikwesaba naluphi na ukulahla kwesondo. Kutheni? Ngenxa yokuba le ndlela ungayifumana lula ukuthembela kunye nokuqonda ngokuvisisana, okuya kulandelwa ngokusondelana.