Yintoni ongayithetha ngalo, okubizwa ngokuba yi-vice, akukho mntu ukhuselweyo. Kungenxa yothando olunjalo olungathandekiyo okanye uvelwano olunezintlu ezingengomntwana kuphela kodwa kunye namakhwenkwe anokufumana ubunzima. Ngendlela, malunga nabafana. Kanye malunga nabo kwaye kuya kuxutyushwa kwinqaku lethu namhlanje. Emva kwayo yonke into, njengoko kungeyonto engaqhelekanga, indoda yesini kunoma yiphi na iminyaka ihlupheke kwaye amava kule imeko ayifani ngokungafani nezesini zesini. Ngoko ke, abazali bafana, ngokukodwa oomama, banzima kakhulu kule nkwenkwe yobomi bonyana. Ukuze ngandlela-thile unciphise ixesha lokukhathazeka kwonyana wakho ngenxa yeemvakalelo zakhe "ezingenanto," sagqiba ekubeni siphendule umbuzo othi: "Ndingamnceda njani unyana wam ukuba aphelise intlungu engathandabuzekiyo? ".
Inkxaso engabonakaliyo
Ngoko, unyana wakho ulwa neemvakalelo zokuthandabuza intombazana kwaye, ngokufanelekileyo, ukhangele kuye, uhlupheke naye, kwiintetho zonke zeli gama. Emva kwakho konke, uyigazi lakho, kwaye amava akhe anakho. Ngoko, njani unokuncedisa unyana wakho ukuba akhuphe ukubandezeleka kokuthandabuza? Okokuqala, njengomama, kufuneka uzame ukuthetha kunye nonyana wakho kwaye uzama ukufumana ukuba "ulungele" kangakanani uthando lwakhe kunye nokuba yiyiphi indawo eyazibona ngayo kule meko. Ukunika iingcebiso ngethuba elithile, kunjalo, lilungile, kodwa nakhu ukungena kwingxaki kwaye uqonde ukuba yintoni enye-enye. Khumbula ukuba ukushiya unyana wakho yedwa kunye nothando olungathandabuzekiyo akuyona indlela engcono yokuphuma. Kodwa ukunyanzelisa isiluleko sakhe kuye, icebo: "Uya kuzifumana ngcono ..." okanye "Kwakungekho ncitshitshi enye kuyo ..." ayilona khetho olufanelekileyo. Zama ukungena kwimeko kwaye uqonde ukuba le nto intombazana ibiza ngayo unyana wakho. Kuphela ngokungena ekuthembeleni kwakhe, unokuthatha loo mandla kwisandla sakho kwaye ulawulo lweklasi yekamva. Ukongezelela, kuya kuba lula kuwe ukuba ube ngumntwana wakho onomdla onothando nonomdla kuphela, kodwa kunye nomhlobo, obaluleke kuye kulo mzuzwana. Ngendlela, abantwana ababona abazali babo kungekhona nje ngabantu ababenzela ubomi, kodwa nabahlobo, kulula kakhulu ukudlulisa iingxaki zabo kwaye baqhube ingxoxo ephosakeleyo. Okokuqala, oku kubangelwa kukuba umntwana onjalo kukho konke ucinga ngeentetho ezifunekayo nawe. Okwesibini, uya kuhlala uqaphela zonke iimpumelelo zakhe nokusilela ebomini. Kakade, akuyiyo imfihlelo yokuba nabani na abafana banqabile ukuba badibanise nabazali babo, kodwa, nangona kunjalo, zihlala zikhona. Ngendlela, uluvo lokuba umhlobo omhle wonyana wakhe nguyise, akayi kulungela ukuba khona kwakhe. Unina unokudlala indima ebalulekileyo ebomini bomntwana. Kwaye, kunye nento yonke, ngubani, ukuba ingengowesifazane, uya kukwazi ukungenelela enye okanye enye ingxaki yonyana wakhe aze amncede ukuphelisa ukwesaba kwakhe okanye iingxaki.
Ngoko, ukuba unyana wakho akubona njengomhlobo ukususela ebuntwaneni, kuya kuba lula kuwe ukuba ube nale ncoko naye. Kodwa ukuba inkwenkwe yakho ingabalulekiyo ukuba ibelane nawe iingxaki zayo, kufuneka uzame ukuphumelela kwaye umbonise ukuba awuyena nje unina, kodwa naye ungumcebisi omkhulu ebomini.
Ngoko yonke indlela enokwenzeka, zama ukuthetha nenyana yakho kwisihloko esithandekayo. Zama ukufumana ukuba yeyiphi intombazana eye yanyuka kakhulu emphefumlweni wonyana wakho, kwaye ngaluphi na umgangatho okwangoku ubuhlobo babo okanye unxibelelwano ngokubanzi.
Amaqhinga okuhlaselwa "
Ukuba uyayazi le ntombazana okanye unokufumana ithuba lokuthetha naye, qiniseka ukuyenza. Zama ukufumana ingcamango yakhe nembono kule meko. Ukuba kuvela ukuba le ntombazana ihamba ngokubanzi kumntu, mcele ukuba ancedise unyana wakhe ngokuthetha naye kwaye afake onke amanqaku kwi "I". Oku kuya kunceda ukutshabalalisa iingcamango zakhe ezingcamango kunye nethemba lokuba uyamxabisa. Into ephambili kukuba akufanele ukwesaba ukungenelela ngexesha, ngenxa yokuba uxolo lwengqondo lomntwana zonke iindlela zilungile. Ukuba le ntombazana isilumko kwaye isilumko, ngokuqinisekileyo iya kufaka isikhundla sakho kwaye idibana nawe. Ewe, into ephambili apha kukuba unyana wakho akayazi ngentetho yakho. Kodwa ukuba le ntombazana ikwahlula okanye ungenalo ithuba lokuthetha naye, ngoko ke uzama ukuchazela ngendlela echanekileyo nengenakuqonda ngayo umbono wakho wale ngxaki. Kuphela ukuchazela unyana malunga neemvakalelo zakhe ezingenakunceda ukuze ngethuba lencoko yakho ungamchukumisa ukuba ucamngce kwaye uqaphele yonke into kwinqanaba lakho elincinci. Khumbula, ukunceda umntwana okwangoku, kufuneka ummisele ukuba angaziqondi ukuba kule "ntombazana ubomi ayipheli," kwaye ungakhangeli ngokukhawuleza. Unyana kufuneka azibonele kwaye "aziva ngaphakathi kuye" le miva. Ngako oko kuphela unokubuyela kwimpilo evamile. Kwaye umsebenzi wakho ukumtyhola.
Ngeenxa zonke
Ukongeza, zama ukulondoloza umntwana wakho ekuhluphekeni, yenzele yonke le miqathango eya kuba nenzuzo kuye. Xoxa nabahlobo bakhe abasenyongweni, bacele ukuba babe soloko be kufuphi naye, ngokuqhelekileyo ukubiza umnxeba okanye ukutyelela. Oku kuya kunceda unyana wakhe ukuba aphunyuke ekuthandweni kwakhe okungathandabuzekiyo. Vumela unyana wakho angahlali "kwiindonga ezine", kodwa aphile ubomi obugcweleyo. Ukuba umntwana unokuzonwabisa, khuthaza. Mema ukuba abhalise kweli candelo okanye apho, angasebenzisa ixesha kunye nenzuzo yakhe kwaye athole abahlobo abatsha kwiminqweno. Into ephambili kukuba, musa ukumvumela ukuba azikhiphe. Abahlobo, izinto zokuzilibazisa, ezemidlalo, amaqela onke aya kumsindisa ekubandezelekeni, kungakhathaliseki ukuba, kodwa ubuncinane.
Ngendlela, ukuba unentombazana enhle engqondweni (umzekelo, intombi yomhlobo, osebenza nabo njalonjalo), simema kunye nabazali bakhe, bavumele abantwana baqhelane. Njengoko ilizwi lisithi: "Yenza umda wokubamba."
Yaye into yokugqibela, ukuba unyana wakho, nangona yonke imizamo yakho yokumnceda, uvalelwe ngaphakathi kuye kwaye entloko yakhe inamathele kwiimvakalelo zakhe, qhagamshelana nomgqirha. Uya kunceda kule meko ngokuchanekileyo kunye nokusebenza ngokucacileyo ukuba achaze loo mntu ingxaki yakhe kwaye ayinqobe. Ngamagama, musa ukuhlala ungenzi lutho, kwaye usebenze-kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo unyana wakho uyazilibala ngokuthanda kwakhe okungathandabuzekiyo.