Umntwana wakho ukhula kwaye ufuna ukufumana iimfihlakalo. Kwaye unenkxalabo yokuba ngokuvumelana nalokhu, ulahlekelwe uxolo kunye nokulawula okuyimfuneko. Yintoni endiyenzayo? Ubudlelwane phakathi kwabazali kunye nabaselula abayinto elula, kodwa izazi zeengqondo zicebisa ukuba ziphile ngeli xesha ngokuzinzileyo ngokusemandleni. Ngezantsi ziingcebiso ezifanelekileyo kwiimeko ezithile.
Isimo 1. Ngomnyango ekamelweni lakhe unyana usandul 'umtya: "Khawuncede ungqongqo." Waqala ukuvalela ideskiti yakhe ngentloko - akazange amvumele ukuba achukumise. Kulo mbuzo "Unayo ntoni na?" Iimpendulo ezingekho kwishishini lam. Ngoku kutshanje ndenze ihlazo xa ndivula isikhwama sakhe esikolweni (ndandifuna ukumbeka idayari, ekhangela). Indodana yam yaqalisa ukumemeza ukuba andinalo ilungelo lokuthinta izinto zakhe, ukuba le yindawo yakhe kunye nobomi bakhe. Ngaba kunoko -kusasa-ngo-13? Ndiyiphendula njani kuhlaselo olunjalo kwaye ndenzani na?
Iingcebiso zeengcali:
Ukuqaphela ilungelo lokuzimela ngasese kwendodana yakhe, uyacaca ukuba uyamhlonela. Kule minyaka, "amaqabane alinganayo" asekwa phakathi kwabazali kunye nabantwana abaselula. Abantwana abasasafuni ukuthobela impumputhe. Ukuba ufuna okuthile kubo, zilungele isicelo sakho. Ukuba unomdla kwinto - ungagxininisi ekuphenduleni. Umntwana wakho ukhulile kwaye ufuna ukuzimela, kufuneka abe nendawo apho abantu abadala bengenawo ukufikelela. Ukumba kwizinto zakhe ukungabikho kwenhlonipho kumntwana, ukuphulwa kwamalungelo akhe kwimfihlo. Ukongezelela, kuya kuholele ekugqibeleni, umntwana uya kuvala kuwe kwaye ubuhlobo bakho buya kuba nzima kakhulu ukuseka. Kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba ubomi bomntwana osemtsha kufuneka bungalawulwa. Kukho imeko xa abazali befuna ukungenelela ngexesha - umzekelo, xa unesizathu sokusola ukuba umntwana usebenzisa iziyobisi. Kodwa nangona kunjalo uphando olulula kunye nokuhlola aluyi kunceda - kufuneka ufumane ukuthembela komntwana, kufuneka udibanise naye. Emva koko uya kutyhila iimfihlakalo zakhe kuwe, kuba kunzima kubafundi abaselula ukuba bagcine izinto ezinjalo ngokwabo. Kule nqanaba kuvela ukuba inkululeko ekhethekileyo eniyinike umntwana - ilawulwa ngokwengeziwe kuyo. Uya kukuthemba, ukuhlonela wena, akayi kufuna ukugcina iimfihlakalo ezivela kuwe. Emva koko, usengumntwana kwaye ufuna iiluleko, ukhokelo kunye nenkxaso. Mnike inkululeko - kwaye ulawule ngokufanelekileyo.
Isimo 2. Kuze kube kutshanje, ndandisondelelene nentombi yam. Wayesoloko ethanda ukuthetha nam, wayemthemba zonke iimfihlelo zakhe. Sathetha ixesha elide malunga nesikolo, malunga nabahlobo bakhe, malunga nootitshala ... Ngelishwa, imeko yatshintsha, kuba iinyanga ezintandathu edlulileyo intombi yadibana nomnye wabafana yaye kubonakala sengathi yathandana naye. Andikwazi ukuthetha into embi ngaye - uyinkwenkwe enhle, iyamnandi kuzo zonke izinto. Ekubeni uhlala kwisithili sethu, ndibabona kunye nentombi yam phantse. Kodwa oku akundixeleli nantoni na. Xa basekhaya, bafunda okanye babukele iTV. Nangona kunjalo, andinayo into yokuba benza ntoni ngaphandle kwendlu - intombi eneminyaka eyi-15 ubudala, kule minyaka ingaba nantoni na into eyenzekayo. Ndizama ukubuza intombazana yam imibuzo, kodwa ihlala yodwa kwaye ayitsho nto. Ndiyazi nje ukuba bayabanga, kodwa ngokukhawuleza yonke into isele ihamba phambili? Ndizama ukulandela imeko engcono, kuba andifuni ukuba intombi yam ibhubhise ubomi bayo.
Iingcebiso zeengcali:
Ininzi abantwana abancinci abafuni ukuthetha nabazali babo malunga nolwalamano oluhlukile kunye nolwabo lokuqala. Vula kwaye bathetha ngezinye iicatshulwa, baya kuqhubeka begcina lo mbuzo kubo. Le mfihlelo kufuneka yamkelwe nguwe. Musa ukunyanzelisa abantwana bakho ukuba bathemba wena ngokusondelene kakhulu, kuba oku kunokukhokelela kumphumo ochaseneyo. Kuyaqondakala ukuba ufuna ukwazi ngokubanzi malunga nobomi bakho obusondeleyo, ukuze umkhusele emngciphekweni wokukhulelwa ngengozi. Kodwa wena kule ngxaki kufuneka ube nobulumko, ucingisise kwaye uqwalasele ukuba umntwana wakho usekhulile. Intombi yakho kufuneka iqale ukuva kuwe oko kubalulekile kule nxulumano kwaye kutheni. Lo mvakalelo omncinci, nangona ushushu, uhlala ungaqiniseki, ngoko kufuneka uchaze intombazana ngokubaluleka kokwabelana ngesondo ngokusekelwe othandweni. Ukuqala kwenkcazo enjalo kufuneka kube ngamava abo, uluvo lwabantu abahloniphekileyo abantwana ababaziyo kwaye bawahloniphayo. Intombi yakho iza kuziva ukuxhaswa kwaye yazi ukuba unomdla ngekamva lakhe. Qinisekisa ukuba uthethe ngokuthe ngqo malunga nokukhulelwa kwengqondo! Hlonipha kwaye uvule-umntwana wakho uza kubonisa ukuphendula kwakho ngokunyaniseka. Abantwana kunoma yimuphi umdala kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba banokuhlala bencike kuncedo lwakho kunye neengcebiso.
Isimo 3. Intombi yam sele ihlala kwi-intanethi, kwaye ineminyaka eyi-12 kuphela! Ngokukhawuleza emva kwesikolo, ugijimela kwikompyutha aze ahlale emva kwakhe kude kube ngokuhlwa. Akakwazi ukulawula ukuba ahlale ezifundweni. Kodwa ke apha ugijimela kwikhompyutheni yonke imizuzu yamahhala ukuthumela omnye umyalezo okanye uphendule. Unayo igumbi lakhe, andinakuboni oko akubonayo ngokwenene kwisikrini okanye odibana naye nge-intanethi. Ngokuqinisekileyo, mna ndamxelela ukuba kufuneka aqikelele, kuba unako ukugijima kwi-pedophile. Kodwa ndithandabuze ukuba intombi yayithatha ngokungqongqo. Andikwazi ukumnqabela ukufikelela kumaphepha anxulumene ngesondo - unokukhubeka ngephanyazi kwiifilimu okanye kwiifoto eziphathekayo. Ndiyinkathazo ngenxa yokuba, ngakwelinye icala, andifuni ukuba ngumgcini wendodakazi yam, kwaye ngenye, andiyithembi ngokupheleleyo. Kwenzeka ukuba akayi kubuya kubahlobo bakhe ngexesha elimisiweyo, kodwa ndifunda malunga nokuhlolwa okubi esikolweni kuphela kumalungu esithathu. Mhlawumbi kufuneka ndiqale ukulawula indodakazi yam ngakumbi ukuze ahlale ixesha elide kwikhompyutheni kwaye ayiyi kudala iingxaki ezongezelelweyo?
Iingcebiso zeengcali:
Nangona ihlabathi elincinci liyamangalisa, kungekhona kuphela kubantwana, kodwa nakubantu abadala - umngcipheko kubantwana abaselula abakubonayo akuvumelekanga. I-Intanethi yihlabathi lonke apho umntwana angakwazi ukumhlangabeza nabani na, ngaphantsi komthelela womnye umntu aze abone into engahambelani neminyaka yakhe. Unokukhusela njani umntwana wakho kwilizwe elithengileyo kunye neendawo zalo ezahlukileyo ikakhulukazi? Lawula yakho intombi. Kwaye akukho apha kumalungelo oluntu okanye isikhala somntwana - konke kunzima kakhulu apha. Tshela intombi yakho ukuba uya kujonga imbali yeziza azivakashelayo. Cacisa oku kancinci, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo: "Andifuni ukuba umntu akukhathaze, ngoko ke ubomi bakho obunjani abufanele kube yimfihlo." Unokuqwalasela kwakhona ukhiye wekhowudi yomzali kwikhomputha ethile, ngokuthi iyiphi indawo yeesayithi iya kuvalwa ukujonga ngaphandle kwephasiwedi ekhethekileyo. Cacisa kwakhona iisayithi ezikhuselekile ngokupheleleyo (umzekelo, iinkqubo zemfundo) apho umntwana osemtsha engafumana ulwazi oluncedo. Ukubekwa esweni okunjalo kuvusa abantwana, kodwa kuyimfuneko. Oku akuyi kubangalisa ubuhlobo obusondeleyo phakathi kwabazali kunye nabaselula, kwaye ngendlela efanelekileyo iya kubomeleza kuphela. Umntwana ufuna ukwazi ukuba uyamkhathalela. Ufuna ukubona umdla kunye nokunyamekela. Yaye nangona ngamanye amaxesha bayabhikisha - kamva bavuma ukuba bayabulela kubazali babo ngokungenelela ngexesha elifanelekileyo kunye nenkxaso yengqondo.