Ngokuza kubantwana, inani labantu abayingqayizivele kwindawo enye iya kwanda, kwaye luya kuba lunomdla ngakumbi.
Ithuba lokuba sisondele kumntu othandekayo, ukukhulisa abantwana luhlala luvuyisa. Kodwa phakathi kwe-idyll, iingxabano zivela ngokungaqinisekiyo, ukungabikho kwemibono. Ngamanye amaxesha i-spark ekhohlakeleyo ikhula ibe ngumlilo ovuthayo. Yaye nangona umlilo ungacinywa, into etshaya kuyo. Ulonwaba lube lukhuni xa kungenalo uthuli, ngoko ke ngomlotha. Isiphumo sokugqibela sitshabalalisa iintsapho kunye neenjongo.
Indlela yokufumana indlela yokuphuma kule meko? Inye intsapho, ngamnye umntu uzimisela ngendlela yawo. Abaninzi bethu babelana ngamava abo kunye nosapho okanye abahlobo. Kwaye kunye nabantu abangabaziyo. Omnye ufuna umhawu, umntu ulindele iingcebiso. Kodwa ngaba ingcebiso engenakulungelelanisa uncedo lwalamano? Mhlawumbi umncedisi ongcono kakhulu uya kuba yesazi sengqondo?
Ngelishwa, kwiingqondo zethu akukho nto ithemba kwizengqondo zengqondo. Abantu abaninzi bayamdibanisa nomhlengikazi, becinga ukuba abantu abagulayo kuphela abaphendukela kule ngcali. Abaninzi, ngakumbi amadoda, bajonga ukutyelela ngokubonisana njengobonakaliso obuthathaka. Enye inxalenye ikholelwa ukuba le yintsholongwane yemali kunye netyala labantu abatyebi. Nangona kunjalo, konke oku kukukhohlisa.
Masizame ukufumanisa ukuba ngubani osapho kwengqondo, kwaye yiziphi iimeko ekufuneka aphathwe ngazo?
Ngokubanzi, i-psychologist ngugqirha ongaziphilisa. Akayilungiseli amayeza, akanikeli imiyalelo. Ingcali yengqondo yengqondo ayinayo ityhubhu yeglue esandleni sokuqinisa iseli yoluntu. Akunabantu abafanayo, akukho zimo ezifanayo. Ngoko, akukho ngcebiso efanelekileyo. Ingaba isifo sengqondo seentsapho sinokukunceda njani ubudlelwane?
Enyanisweni, wonke umntu entliziyweni uyayazi impendulo kuyo yonke imibuzo yabo. Kodwa intloko izele iingxaki ezininzi kunye neengcamango, iimvakalelo ezigqithiseleyo, ukomelezwa kwamandla kugxininisa, kwaye ingqiqo yokubaluleka kwayo iphakamisa. Kwaye asisayiva i-interlocutor, nangona ukuba uyona mntu uyithandayo kakhulu. Ungava phi ilizwi lakho langaphakathi?
Kubonakala kuwe ukuba uzame yonke into, kodwa iya kuba yimbi? Ngaba uthetha ngolunye ulwimi ngelilanga nobusuku? Ingaba (okanye wena) ulandelwa ngumzimba (okanye ulungeleleneyo?!) Umona? Ngaba ngabazali bakho bakwenza nje? Abantwana bahlala eentloko zabo baza balwa nabo? Ubomi bakho bentsapho behlala bebuhlungu kunye nokugqithisa? Nasi ixesha lokubuyela kwiingcali!
Umntu onokwakheka kwengqondo usapho uya kukunceda uziqonde wena kunye neemvakalelo zakho. Kuya kunceda ukhangele iinjongo kunye neminqweno yakho, kwisimo somlingani, kwimeko yonke. Mhlawumbi ngoncedo lengqondo ye-psychologist uza kujonga ebuntwaneni bakho. Ngokuqhelekileyo iingcambu zeengxaki zabantu abadala. Imibuzo kagqirha kuphela inikeza izikhokelo, vula isikhokelo "sokukhangela". Kwaye ufumana iimpendulo ngokwakho. Ngamnye wethu unomthombo wangaphakathi ovumela ukuba sikwazi ukujamelana nayo nayiphi na imeko yobomi. Umsebenzi wengcali yeengqondo kukukunceda ukuba ufumane olu butyebi, makabebenzise.
Kuye kuwe ukuba isifo sengqondo seentsapho singakunceda ulwalamano. Musa ukulinda iingcebiso ezithile. Uxanduva lobomi bakho luya kuhlala ezandleni zakho. Ukubonisana kwengcali yeengqondo ngeke kutshintshe abathandekayo bakho kunye nehlabathi elikujikelezayo, abayi kunika ukuphilisa kwangoku. Ukwakha ubudlelwane kwintsapho akuyona into elula, umsebenzi wemihla ngemihla. Kodwa, mhlawumbi, uya kuziva ngathi unyana, ngokukhawuleza wabona i-saucer nobisi phambi kwakhe.