Ukuze wenze isigqibo sokuba uye kwenye idolophu kumntu, okokuqala kufuneka ulinganise yonke into kunye nokuchasene. Kuyabonakala nje ukuba yonke into iya kuba yinto enhle, ukuba kuphela umhlobo owayekufutshane. Enyanisweni, ukuze uhambe ngenxa yomntu, kufuneka ube nezizathu ezilungileyo. Kwaye akunjalo nje ukuba ushiye isixeko sakho sasekuhlaleni, iintsapho kunye nabahlobo ukususela ebuntwaneni. Ngomthonyama kwaye kufuphi nathi siya kuthetha kamva. Ngoku siza kuthetha ngezinto ezininzi eziphathekayo. Ngokomzekelo, makhe siqale nokuba inkwenkwe yakho inekhaya kwenye idolophu. Ewe, kuyamangalisa ukuba unendawo yakhe yokuhlala apho, bobabili nihlala kunye nakha intsapho yenu. Kodwa, mhlawumbi kunjalo, ukuba inkwenkwe yakho ihlala nabazali bakhe kunye nawe okanye wena, okanye wena ezimbini, kuya kufuneka urente indlu. Kule meko, cinga malunga nokuba unakho ukuhlawula irente, zondla kwaye unethuba lokuphumla. Ewe, ekuqaleni sonke sikholelwa kwiparadesi kwindlu, kodwa ngokwenene akunakwenzeka. Ngoko ke, ukuba uya kusixeko esingaqhelekanga, sithathe ngokungqongqo. Khumbula ukuba omnye umzi uyintsimi engaziwayo kunye nemithetho yakhe nemithetho. Kuqala kokujonga kubonakala ngathi yonke into iyafana yonke indawo. Enyanisweni, kungekudala uza kuqiniseka ukuba oku akunjalo. Kodwa kunzima apho okanye kungcono - sele sele inenhlanhla.
Kwakhona, kuyafaneleka ukuba ucinge ukuba uza kukhangela umsebenzi omtsha. Kakade, inhlanhla kula mabhinqa asebenza kude. Abayi kucinga malunga nale ngxaki. Kodwa bonke abanye, ngaphambi kokufuduka, kubalulekile 'ukuva umhlaba', ukufumanisa ukuba ngaba iingcali kule ndawo okanye ezizodwa ziyimfuneko kulo mzi. Akunakufuneka uthembele kumntu, nokuba uzalwa. Imiba ingahluka, ngoko kufuneka uzinakekele ngemali. Ukuba esinye isixeko oya kuhamba kuso siyakwazi ukukunikezela ngomsebenzi ofanelekileyo, kufuneka uzigqibelele ukuba uza kulungisa njani iingxaki zemali. Ungaze uye kwezinye iindawo zabantu ngeepokotshi ezingenanto. Kufuneka ube nemali eyaneleyo yokuhlawula zonke iindleko zokuqala. Khumbula ukuba nangona ubomi bakho bungagqitywanga, imali iyakudingeka nanini na. Ngoko ke, ungathemba ukuba umfana wakho uya kuba nako ukunceda kuyo yonke into. Naye, naye, unokuba namandla amakhulu.
Kwakhona, ukuba awunayo ikhaya, kukulungile ukucinga ngawo kwangaphambili. Kunzima ukufumana indlu efanelekileyo xa ungekho ndawo yokulala, kwaye ezandleni zeengxowa ezininzi kunye nezikhwama. Ngoko ke, kufuneka uqale ukukhangela indlu ukuze xa uhamba, uchithe ubusuku kungekhona kwisikhululo, kodwa endlwini yakho.
Mhlawumbi siye saxoxa ngeengxaki eziphathekayo kwaye ngoku sinokuthetha ngokuziphatha. Okokuqala, cinga malunga nokuba ulungele ukutshintsha yonke into engowokuzalwa, oyintandokazi esondeleyo kwaye ujwayelene nomnye umntu ngokupheleleyo ngenxa yomntu oyedwa. Kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu - ngaba kuwufanele? Enyanisweni, ubomi bomntu ngamnye bukhula ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Abanye, umzekelo, kufuneka baduqule imeko kwaye baye endaweni ethile kude nomzi wabo. Omnye uye wahlala ephupha ngokumshiya kwaye ngoku uyavuya ukusebenzisa eli thuba, kwaye uya kuhamba kwisixeko somfana wakhe, evuyisa ngokwenene. Kodwa, ukuba unentsapho enothando kwidolophu yakubo, izihlobo ezithembekileyo kunye nezinto ezininzi omele uzilahle, kufuneka ucinge ngenyameko malunga nokuba unokhetho olufanelekileyo nokuba ngaba umntu omthandayo unokuthatha indawo yabo bonke abathandekayo kuwe. Ukuba ucinga ukuba ubomi obutsha kunye nomntu obathandayo kuyimfuneko kuwe, ngoko ulungele ngokukhawuleza ukuba okokuqala uya kugula kakhulu. Nangona kubakho umntu othandekayo kufuphi, kwaye yonke imihla ufunda into entsha, ngokufanayo naluphi na uxinzelelo oluya kuphazamisa ngaphezu kwexesha eliqhelekileyo, kwaye i-psyche iza kuqala ukuba yi-nostalgic yendlu. Ngethamsanqa, le ntliziyo idlula ngokukhawuleza. Into eyona nto ayikuyikwesaba, musa ukuyeka nokuqokelela izinto uze uye ekhaya.
Kodwa ke, ukuba ufuna ukufudukela kwelinye idolophu, ziphendule ngokunyanisekileyo ngokwakho: ucinga ukuba iqabane lakho lifanelwe isenzo esinjalo kwaye awuyi kuzisola ngezinto azenzileyo. Ukuba uyamlandela, kuthetha ukuba uthetha kuphela ulwalamano oluqinileyo oluya kukhishwa umtshato ngomhla othile. Cinga ukuba uyabelana ngale ndawo, kwaye ngokwenene, nokuba le nsizwa yayicinga ngekamva lakho. Ukuba ufuna, unokumcela ngqo. Kwimeko enjalo kuyimfuneko ukwazi i nyaniso kunye nesenzo ngokusekelwe kumphendula umntu omncinci. Ngoko ke, ukuba akakwazi ukukuxelela into ecacileyo, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo akayi kubukeka njengomntu onokwenza izigqibo nokuthatha uxanduva kuwe, cinga kwakhona malunga nokuba kuyafaneleka ukuthatha inyathelo elinjalo. Kakade ke, nangaliphi na ixesha unako ukuya ekhaya, apho uyathandwa kwaye ulindelwe, kodwa kutheni uchithe iimbilini zakho, ulahlekelwe ngumsebenzi wakho kwaye uchithe imali eyongezelelweyo?
Ngaphandle koko, zibuze umbuzo, kodwa ufuna ukuhlala nalo mntu ubomi bakho bonke? Ngaba uyaqiniseka ukuba nguye kuphela ohlala ulindele? Musa ukuba intombazana engenanto kwaye inothando okholelwa ukuba yonke into ingakhiwa kuphela ekuthandweni. Ukuba uya kwesinye isixeko kwintombi yakho, kufuneka ufunde indlela yokuhlala ngokwakho, ukuqhuba uqoqosho kwaye wenze izinto ezininzi ongazange uyenze ekhaya. Ngoko zenzele isigqibo sokuba ngaba ulungele ukwenza okuthile. Ukwenza izigqibo ezinjalo, umntu kufuneka athembele kwisigqibo sakhe sengqondo, kodwa ungakulibali ngeemvakalelo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba ungathandwa kangakanani ngabahlobo, abaninzi babo abayi kuba nenjongo, kuba abafuni ukulahlekelwa nguwe. Yingakho uphulaphule iingcebiso, kodwa ushiye isisombululo sakho.
Ukuba uqinisekile ukuba umfana wakho uyakuthanda, ukuba uyisiphephelo sakho, kwaye unamandla okwaneleyo kunye nokwakha ubomi obonwabileyo kwindawo entsha, ke ungesabi uze ufikelele kwenye idolophu ukuya kwintombi yakho.