Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba umfazi abe yedwa?

Phantse onke amantombazana ukususela ebuntwaneni kufuneka ave ukuba kufuneka afumane umyeni omhle aze atshate ngokuphumelelayo. Kodwa ukuba indoda ayikho kwaye umtshato awucwangcwanga kwiminyaka emihlanu ezayo, ngaba kufanelekile ukuphelelwa ithemba?


Enyanisweni, imbono yokuba umfazi kufuneka atshate kwaye indoda yakhe inokuthi ithathelwe ingqalelo kwixesha elidlulileyo. Akukho nto ivuyayo kukuba umfazi ushiywe yodwa. Into eyona nto kukuba kukuba ngokwenene kufanelekile yedwa. Kwaye, akusiyo ngabafazi abathandayo i-muzhchin baze bawela ngeendlela zeshumi. Oku kuziphatha kwengqondo, kwaye kuyimfuneko ukulwa nayo. Ngoku sithetha ngabasetyhini abazingqelekileyo abanxibelelwano olwaneleyo kunye neengqalelo, kwaye bazondayo bonke abameleli besini esomeleleyo, kuba ababaphulaphuli, kodwa bonke abafazi ukuba banomntu othile.

Unokukwazi ukuqonda

Ngoko, kutheni umfazi abe yedwa? Okokuqala, kwaye oku kunzima ukuphikisana, u lonwabo kwenza kube lula ukuzihlaziya. Xa ibhinqa litshatile okanye lihlala nendoda encinci, inqabileyo ichitha ixesha kunye nezinto ezizithandayo, ukuhamba kunye njalo njalo. Yaye xa abantwana bezalwa, ngokuqinisekileyo unakho ukulibala ubuncinane kwiminyaka embalwa. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba yindoda enomfazi nomfazi, ekupheleni kwayo yonke into iya kwelokuba yonke imali iya ekuphileni, i-snobby, izixhobo kunye njalo njalo. Ukuze siphile ngokuqhelekileyo, kufuneka sisebenze okuninzi, kodwa ukuphumla nokuzithuthuka kuya kuhlala kuluhlungu. Intombazana enesizungu kuyo yonke le nto ichithwe. Unako ukufumana imali eninzi njengoko kufuneka ukuba aphile kakuhle. Ukongezelela, unelungelo lokuphulaphula ukuthengwa kwanoma yimuphi umfazi wesigxina kwaye akaphulaphuli i-tirades yomyeni wakhe malunga nokuba usebenzisa imali kwiintlobo zonke ezingenangqondo. Nangona kunjalo, ngenxa yokuba akudingeki ukuba usebenze kanzima ukuxhasa intsapho, elinye ibhinqa linalo ixesha elininzi lokuzilibazisa, ukuhamba kunye njalo njalo. Abantu abaninzi bathi abahlobo kunye neentsapho zabo ziqala iintsapho kunye nabantwana kwaye uhambo luya kuthwala, kodwa uninzi alukho umdla. Enyanisweni, esi sizathu sisisiphukuphuku. Ukuba umntu uhlala enentlalontle, unokuhlala ebamkela abantu abatsha kunye nabahlobo abatsha abathanda ukuhlala kubo kwaye bangabika kunoma ubani.

Uncedo

Ngendlela, elinye ibhinqa alikho nto egoist. Ngokuphambene noko, nguye onokuhlala encedisa izihlobo zakhe kumzuzu onzima. Njengomthetho, oomama abangatshatanga banalo ixesha kunye nethuba lokuphuhlisa ngokwemisebenzi, ngoko ke kukho ixesha elaneleyo lokuba bangaboneli nje kuphela, kodwa bancede abanye. Nangona kunjalo, udade onesizungu okanye intombi ingumalume onomdla onokuhlala encedisa umntwana, asebenze naye, ahlale phantsi xa abazali befuna ukubaleka. Ngendlela, abaninzi abafazi abangatshatanga abafuni ukufumana intsapho, kuba banomuvo wokuthi abanako ukuzinikela ngokupheleleyo kumntwana kwaye babe ngabafazi ababi. Kukho abantu abagweba aba bafazi, kodwa ngokwenene, abafazi abanjalo, ngokuchaseneyo, bathembekile kunye nabo nabanye. Bayiqonda ukungahambi kwabo, kwaye abayidlali kubaphulaphuli ngoomama, kodwa bengazi kakuhle okanye bayazi, bayabazonda abantwana babo. Ukongezelela, i-lonely ine-instinct yomama, kwaye yanele ngokonwaba ukwenza nomntakwabo. Ewe, ngendlela, ngaba besetyhini abafumana ulonwabo olukhulu ekuxabaneni nabantwana babo kungekhona ngenxa yokuba bengenabo abantwana babo. Uprostoonyi ufuna ukutshala imali kumntu othile ulwahlulo lwabo nolwazi, kodwa abaziveki benomsebenzi wokukwenza njalo. Kwaye njengoko uyazi, ngomnqweno wethu, sonke senza umsebenzi olungcono kunokuba umyalelo.

Inkululeko

Kutheni kunesizungu ukuba kube ngcono kunomntu? Olunye udibaniso luyinkululeko yokuthatha isenzo. Unokuhamba kunye nabahlobo kunye namadoda kwaye ungenzi izizathu phambi kwendoda yakho, uchaza ukuba ngabahlobo nje, kunye neyona nto ufuna ukuyijonga ngokuthethileyo ayithethi nantoni na into ofuna ukuyitshintsha. Ibhinqa liyakwazi ukupheka into ayithandayo, kwaye ungayi kuma esitofu ngesigamu somhla, ukuze isithandwa sifike, sidle yonke into ibe sisiqingatha seyure, kwaye yathi: "Hayi, ngokuqinisekileyo, ngokuqinisekileyo akubi, kodwa unganqumla iitamatisi ngokuncinci." Ngokubanzi, njengokuba kunjalo, le ntokazi inikwe ngokupheleleyo kwaye ingakwazi ukutshintsha ubomi "phantsi kwayo", endaweni yokucinga, okokuqala, yindoda, njengoko yenziwa ngokubanzi ngabo bonke abameli besifazane.

Ukuphuma kwamabhinqa angatshatanga, amavavolontiya athile kakhulu. Ngabo abafazi abanokuzonwabisa ngokuchitha ixesha kunye nemali kwiintsizana, ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba akukho mntu ulala nendlala ekhaya. Kodwa ukuba ucinga ngako, kulungile-ukubanceda abo bafuna ngokwenene. Bangaphi abantwana kwiinkedama, nokuba bangaphi abantu abadala kwiindawo zokubeletha ezingenasidingo kunoma ubani. Kwabanye abantu kuyamnandi kwaye kulula ukuyinika uthando lwabo kunokuba unike umntu oza kukhangela.

Ukuzimela ngokwesondo

Abantu abaninzi bathi abafazi abangashadile banokungabikho kwesondo okanye ngokuphambene nanjalo, baphendukela kwiintombi zokuziphatha okulula. Enyanisweni, abo baziphatha ngokwenene ngale ndlela abahluphekanga ngenxa yokungabikho kwesondo, kodwa ngenxa yokungabikho kwengqondo. Umfazi ongatshatangayo unokuzibonela ngokusondeza, ngaphandle kokuguqula abo babizwa ngokuba "bawile." Into ephambili kukuba intombazana enesizungu ayifihli umnqweno wakhe wokufumana umyeni ngokwakhe. Ngoko ke akufanele abe yedwa kwaye akafuneki nje ukujonga iqabane lomntu wesini, ngenxa yokuba uya kuthandana naye, kwaye ke ukuhlupheka kwepropati yakhe kuya kuqala. Ukuba intombazana ayiboni oko kunye naye, ngoko umntu unokukwazi ukuzinza ngokukhawuleza ulwalamano olunjenge "ubuhlobo namalungelo". Kuyo nayiphi na inkampani okanye iqela kufuneka kube nomnye umntu onqwenela ukuzibandakanya nobudlelwane obunzulu, kodwa uhlala ekulungele ukulala ngesinina kwaye unokuba ngumhlobo wakhe. Amantombazana angatshatanga abahlobo abanjalo bangcono kakhulu. Kwaye kungenanto kuwe komnye, awunayo kuphela iqabane lomntu wesini, kodwa unomntu onokukunceda ngomsebenzi wamadoda, kwaye unake ingqalelo. Kwaye emva koko bonke abafazi, njengento enyanisweni, oku kwaye kuyimfuneko отпаней. Emva koko, sitshatile, kuba sifuna ukuba sinakekelwe, sincedwe, kwaye senza impawu emihle. Yiyo kuphela kwiimeko ezininzi eziphela ngokukhawuleza xa isitampu sifakwa kwipaspoti. Kodwa abahlobo bethu besilisa bahlala bekulungele ukwenza into enhle kwiintombi zabo, kuba abazive banyanzelekile kwaye bangashiya nganoma yimuphi umzuzu. Kwaye njengoko uyazi, ukuba umntu uziva ekhululekile ukwenza, ngoko akafuni ukuya khona naphi na.

Ukuxhatshazwa kwabasetyhini akubi kakhulu kunokuba kukwazi ukuba emva kokuphulaphula amabali esizukulwana esikhulileyo. Ukulula, okhethe le ndlela ethile yobomi, kufuneka kuhlanjululwe, kwaye ungabonakali phantsi kosizi lokukhathazeka. Kodwa ke, akafanele ayikayika kwaye esaba abantu. Ngendlela, ukuba uyaphatha ubomi ngale ndlela, zinyamekele kwaye uzinelise, ngoko ekugqibeleni, unokudibana nomntu oza kukumkela nje oku kwaye ungazami ukutshintsha into enokuyithanda nokuguqa, kunokuba ulinde unqulo. Emva kwakho konke, ukuze bangathethi apho, kwaye amadoda axabisa kakhulu abafazi abomeleleyo abanokuhlala beshiya, kuba bona kunye nabo ngokwabo ababi nakakhulu.