Ubudlelwane phakathi kwabasetyhini namadoda

Kwilizwe lethu lanamhlanje kukho ukutshatyalaliswa kwezithandane ezingalinganiyo, kwaye uluntu luhlahlisa izibini apho umntu osekhulile kunye nentombazana encinci. Kodwa ulwalamano lomfazi omdala kunye nentombazana ihlala isisigxina kunye nokuthetha, kwaye akukho lixesha elizayo kwiibini ezilolo hlobo, kunye nakwiqondo lokujonga ngengqondo, le nto yinto ehamba phambili. Kodwa umtshato ongalinganiyo awuyiyo inkolelo, ikhona kwaye kaninzi iyakwazi ukuphumelela.

Ibhinqa lizifumana liyindoda elincinane kunaloo nto xa ingenalo umdla kumbandela wolwalamano. La mabhinqa ayenzeka kwinqanaba lobugcisa, enikezelwa ngezindlu kunye nemivuzo ezinzile. Esinye isizathu sokufumana amadoda aselula kukuyingxenye ebomini yobomi. Mhlawumbi, abafazi abangama-abadala abakunamdla kunye nesimo seentanga zabo kwaye bazama okunye. Ekubeni iimbali zokubhenqa kwamadoda kunye nabesifazane ziwela kumaxesha ahlukeneyo. Esinye isizathu sisona sikhokelo sesisu, esinika iimvakalelo zentembelo kunye nokukhuseleka kwamadoda aselula.

Izibini ezinjalo, apho umfazi omdala kunye nomfana osemtsha kufuneka banqobelele izithintelo ezininzi kuneziqabane eziqhelekileyo. Okokuqala, ekubonakaleni kwowesifazane, iimfuneko ezingqongqo zibhekiswe phambili, kufuneka zihlale zijonge kwizinga elifanelekileyo ukuba zingekho ngaphantsi kweminyaka yakhe, ngoko, ngokusemandleni akhe kwiminyaka yakhe, ukumelana nokuncintisana namantombazana amancinci. Ngoko ke, ubuhle nolutsha kufuneka kugcinwe ixesha elide kunokwenzeka. Kule meko, ngokuqhelekileyo ukubonakala kwinqanaba elifanayo ngothando.

Ukuba ulwalamano olunjalo lulawulwa kuphela ngemali kunye nesondo kwaye yonke intsingiselo yobudlelwane iyancitshiswa nje kuphela, ukuba umfazi uyanelisa zonke iifom zezimali zeqabane elincinci, ukukhuthaza iimfuno zakhe, kunye nezikhundla ezilindele ukulala ngesondo kuphela, kungekudala kamva umntu uya kukhwaza umntu odlala kwizandla zowesifazane. Umgangatho wesini kunye neemeko zezemali azikho izinto ezibalulekileyo ebomini bobabini, kodwa ngaphandle kokuthenjwa kwentlonipho kunye nokuqonda, umanyano awuyi kuhlala ixesha elide.

Iziqabane ezinjalo ezingalinganiyo zihlala kumtshato, kwaye umtshato awuqinisekisi ubomi obude kunye kunye. Iinkonzo zezi zibini, ukuqonda nokuvakalelwa, ukuhlakanipha. Kodwa kuyimfuneko ukubonakalisa umona, kuba phambi kokuba abancinci abaneminyaka engamashumi amabini banokumelana, njengoko ubudlelwane buyahlukana. Ngoko ke, uxanduva lokubambisana ngokukhethekileyo bubulumko kunye nokwethemba.

Amadoda amancinci adla ukuba afune imfuneko yokuzimelela xa umntu eba ngumntu, umnqweno wokuba yinkokeli mkhulu, ngoko ke umfazi makaze ambeke iqabane lakhe kwisantya somntwana omncinci aze abonise yonke imvelaphi yakhe. Ukuba umfazi uyamxabisa ngesimo sakhe sobukhosi, uya kuba yinkokeli kwintsebenziswano, ngoko umntu uya kuhamba emva koko okanye afumane "iqabane elibuthathaka". Ubudlelwane phakathi kowesifazane kunye nendoda bubunzima kakhulu.

Ubumbano olunjalo lwabantu abaninzi luvuyisa kwaye lulethela intlungu ngexesha elifanayo. Kukho imizekelo emininzi ebomini xa umfazi omdala kunye nomfana osemthethweni ulungelelanisa ubudlelwane, banabantwana kwaye baye baphila ubomi obusapho bemihlali kwiminyaka emininzi. Ulwalamano olunjalo lwabafazi abaninzi luvuselela, luncedisa ukuziva ngathi ngumfazi onobumba obuninzi. Kodwa akuqhelekanga ukuzisa iingxaki xa izibini, ezingenakukwazi ukujamelana nokuvavanya, ziphule kwiindawo ezibukhali zokuhleka, ukugxekwa nokugwetywa. Abaninzi abaxinzelele uxinzelelo oluvela ngaphandle.

Ubomi abuyeki - kwaye akukhathazeki ukuba uneminyaka engakanani kunye neqabane lakho. Kubalulekile ukuba uziva njani, kuba kuphela umzimba wethu umzimba - kwaye umphefumlo uhlale uselula. Yaye uthando kunye nemvakalelo emihle ayinayo imida, kuquka iminyaka yobudala.