Makhe siqwalasele imeko malunga nobusela babantwana kuzo zonke iinkcukacha, ziqonde izizathu zezenzo ezinjalo kunye nendlela yokuziphatha kwimeko efana nayo, yintoni omele ukwenze, kwaye yintoni okumele uyenze ididekile kakhulu.
Okokuqala, kufuneka siqaphele ukuba kukho iimeko xa kungabi. Umntwana wakho unokutshintsha ithoyizi yakhe enye umntwana ngokuvuma. Oku akunjalo kunqabile kwaye kulungile kakhulu, ukuba ngaba kunjalo ngokufanayo.
Yintoni abazali abangenakuyenza
Ngoku sinika uluhlu lwezenzo ezingenakwenziwa, ngokubakho ukuba kusekho ubusela:
- Ukucinga ukuba into engenakwenzekayo eyenzekayo;
- Hlela ama-scandals kunye neentlungu;
- Ukunciphisa umntwana ngokukhethekileyo ngento "njengesigwebo";
- Bonisa ukunganakwa okanye uvume ukusela;
- Musa ukunyamekela ukuba abahlobo bakhe babizwa ngokuthi "inkampani embi";
- Ummangalela, ukuba akukho nanye i-100 ekhulwini ubungqina becala lakhe;
- Ukulinda kwiilebula zamasela kunye nezinto ezifana;
- Ukufuna ukuba avume esidlangalaleni isenzo sakhe aze aguquke;
- Ngaba uthelekisa nabanye abantu okanye abantwana, njengathi: "Apha ndingazange ndibiwe!";
- Musa ukumphoqa ukuba afunge isifungo sokuba akasayi kuphinda enze njalo;
- Kukho nawuphi na, musa ukuxoxa ngale nto phambi kwabantu abangabaziyo.
Ukuba uzama ukwenza nayiphi na apha ngasentla, ngoko kunokwenzeka ukuba, umphumo awuyi kuba kukuba umntwana akayi kuphinda, kodwa ukuba uya kuvala aze ayeke ukukuthemba, ngoko ubeke ukulawula kwakho.
Ziziphi izizathu zokushukumisa umntwana ukuba eze?
- Umntwana akakwazi ukuhlula phakathi kwezinto zakhe nezinye. Oku kwenzeka kubantwana abaneminyaka emi-2 ukuya kwe-4. Ngelo xesha, kuyimfuneko ukuyichaza ngenyameko into eyenzayo engalunganga kwimiba ethile, de kube umntwana efunde imida yomhambi kunye naye;
- Umntwana unqwenela ithoyizi ethile, ufuna kakhulu kangangokuthi akayiqondi into yokuba ubusela. Oku kunokukwenzeka ukuba iimfuno zomntwana zinyanzelwanga. Kule meko, abazali kufuneka banikele ingqalelo kwiminqweno kunye neemfuno zomntwana, ezihlala zinganeliseki. Ngokuqinisekileyo, akunakulungele ukubaleka ngokukhawuleza kwisitoreji kwaye uthenge ithoyilo kumntwana (oku kunokukhokelela kumntwana enengcamango yokuba ithoyizi iya kubonakala emva kobusela). Zama ukumchazela ukuba uya kudlala itekisi, emva kancinane kamva, umzekelo, ukuya kumhla wokuzalwa kwakhe, ukuba uya kunikwa ugogo okanye ugogo oya kuthengwa emva kokufumana umvuzo, njl.
- Kungenzeka ukuba umntwana weba itekisi, elaliphambi kwexesha elide likhukhumele kwaye likhubekile, liphinde liphinde liphindezezele. Kule meko, kufuneka umncede athathe isikhundla esifanelekileyo kwaye uhlakulele indlela yokuziphatha engafuni ukuba uthathe ithoyilo. Kunokwenzeka ukuhlakulela ukuziphatha okunjalo ngokungathanga ngqo, ukudlala ngoncedo lweembononongo zamathoyizi, apho oku kwenzeka "kumnandi";
- Ukuba umntwana uvakalelwa ukungabikho kwengqalelo kubazali. Kwenzeka ukuba umntwana akanako ukukhathalela abazali ukuba uyakwazi ukuntshontsha. Akunandaba naye ukuba ingqwalasela iya kuba yinto engafanelekanga, into ephambili kukuba iya kuba;
- Ubusela bungaba yindlela yokufumana ukuthembeka phakathi koontanga. Lo mhlathi unxulumene ngqo neyokugqibela. Ukuba umntwana akanakucingisisa kwintsapho, unokuzama ukuhlawulela ukuqonda nokuqonda okubalulekileyo kwiqela labahlobo bakhe. Nanku kuyimfuneko ukuba ungayiqondi ngento yokweba, kodwa ngeengxaki zehlabathi kwibudlelwane nomntwana.
- Zama ukuphuhlisa iitalente zomntwana wakho - oku kuphakamisa ukuzithemba kwakhe;
- Mhlawumbi ukuphanga kwinqanaba lomnye umntu, umzekelo, kwicandelo labantwana abadala. Kule meko, kuyimfuneko ukukhusela umntwana. Chaza ukuba kwiimeko ezinjalo kuyimfuneko ukuqhagamshelana nabadala-abazali, ootitshala. Qinisekisa ukuba ingxaki isisombululo.
Yintoni abazali abayenzayo?
Yintoni enye enokuyenza xa ufumene ubusela obwenziwe ngumntwana wakho?
- Ukucinga nokuthetha ngale nto, njengokungathi umntwana "uthathe" omnye umntu, kunokuba "atshe";
- Ngokuthobeka kwaye ngomusa ukuthetha nomntwana ukuba aqonde apho iqhutshi livela khona, kutheni wamxelela, ngaluphi ubudlelwane kunye nomnikazi wento engaqhelekanga - konke oku kuya kucaca izizathu ezamshukumisela kwisenzo esinjalo;
- Ukuba umntwana uziva enetyala, gxininisa ukugxininisa kwimvakalelo yomntu aphanga;
- Ukuba akayi kuziva enetyala, ngoko ukuba ukuba kufuneka kuhlawulwe. Nangona kunjalo, kuyimfuneko yokwenza oku ngokucophelela, ukuze ugwebe umthetho, kwaye kungekhona umntwana ngokwakhe;
- Kuyimbopheleleko ukubuyisela loo nto kumnini wayo, kodwa ukwenza njengokuba umntwana wayifumene;
- Buyisela into oyifunayo ngomntwana. Ukuba kuyimfuneko, thatha uhlangothi lwakhe ukumkhusela ekuhlaselweni okuvela kubazali bomnini wale nto okanye abanye abantu. Makuvumele ukuba umntwana aqonde ukuba uya kwenzeka nangayiphi na imeko;
- Unokuzama ukumkholisa umntwana ukuba abuyisele umnikazi kumnini wayo;
- Cacisa ukuba ungathatha into ngaphandle kwemfuno, kuphela ukuba ivela kuye, nokuba uthathe omnye umntu - kufuneka ucele imvume kumnini;
- Yenza ngendlela efanelekileyo ukuze umntwana angathatha kuwe umzekelo wokulandela, ungabi memeze kwaye ungangciki;
- Ukuba ubonile ngamehlo akho ubusela, xelela umntwana ngokucacileyo ngaye;
- Mnike ukuba acacise ngokucacileyo ukuba awuthandi isenzo sakhe;
- Umnini wale nto makanikezwe kungakhathaliseki ixabiso layo;
- Musa ukuvumela imeko ezinokubangela umntwana ukuba aphangwe;
- Mkhuthaze ukuba avume iimpazamo zakhe aze aziqonde;
- Funda kwaye uxoxe ngokucophelela kunye naye ngeencwadi zokuziphatha ngokuziphatha. Ukuba umntwana usemncinci, unokukwenza kwifom edlalwayo.