Ukuba indoda ihlala iphosa umfazi wayo

Umyeni nomfazi - lo mbutho wonxibelelwano. Eli nqanaba liphakamileyo kunokuba ngabahlobo nje, isibini esitshatile ukuqala ukutshata, okanye sesinye isigaba sobudlelwane. Umtshato uyisinyathelo esinzulu ebomini bomntu, okufuneka wonke umntu aqaphele. Ngoko ke, uxanduva lwabo lonke utshintsho kwintsapho lufanele luthwale ziintloko zentsapho. Ukuba kukho ukuxabana kwintsapho, ingxabano ayiselungile, kodwa kuthekani ukuba loo mntu uhlala ekopela umfazi wakhe - kuyatshisa kakhulu! Kulo mbandela, kufuneka ufumane kwaye ufumane ingcambu, ukuze ukwazi ukukhuphela ngaphandle.

Kwabaninzi abasetyhini, ukukopela indoda yinto engavumelekanga kwaye ingacingi, into ethile engxenyeni yefantasy engayi kuze ifike kubo. Asinakuqonda ukuba kutheni indoda, ayiyinyaniso kumfazi wayo. Siyicinga, ukuba bathi: "Ndiyayithanda" okanye ndiyicinezele, ke yona ihlala nathi ngonaphakade, kodwa njengendlela yokubonisa, akukho nto iphakade. Siyicinga ukuba uhlale esinyanisekile nathi, sicinga ukuba akayasadingeki nathi kunye naye, uya kusitshintshela kubahlobo, uya kuba yintloko kwiintsapho. Kodwa oku akunjalo. Ngamanye amaxesha kwenzeka ukuba abantu basidumise, bafumane ngaphantsi, bahlale bekhuni njengokuba nzima kubo emsebenzini, ekugqibeleni, basitshintshe. Sinobhinqa abaqinileyo, nangona kunjalo ukuba siba nesini sobuthathaka, sinako ukunyamezela nokunyamezela okukhulu, kodwa kungabikho nto. Ukuba indoda ihlala ishintsha umfazi wayo - oku kuwuphawu olubi, kuyimfuneko ukuyiqonda, ukufumanisa isizathu sokuba konke kwenzeka ntoni ngale ndlela.

Ingxaki yobudlelwane phakathi kwendoda nomfazi olalayo, okokuqala, kwi-worldview, ngokwahlukileyo. Sibheke kwihlabathi, izinto ezizungezile ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, ngoko ke asikwazi ukuqonda isizathu sokuba umntu enze njalo, kungenjalo. Le ntlukwano phakathi kwethu iveliswa kokubili kwimiqondo yezesondo kunye ne-physiology yokujonga oko kwenzekayo.

Thina, bafazi, ukususela ebuntwaneni babesifundiswa ukuba ubuhlobo obusondeleyo kufuneka bube yedwa kuphela, kuphela umntu othetha into ethile kuthi. Kubantu, ubuhlobo obusondeleyo abuyonto nje kuphela ngokwesondo, ukukhululeka kwengqondo okanye enye yeendlela zokuphumelela intliziyo yowesifazane. Kwaye kutheni, emva kwayo yonke into, ukuba naye kunye naye kwindawo eseduze, sikulungele ukuzinikele kuye ngonaphakade. Ngokunyanisekileyo ukusuka kwimiqondo yengqondo ebusheni bakhe, isondo sokuqala samadoda lithetha uphawu lwesibindi, ukukhula kwabo, ukubonakala kwamava, bazama ukubonisa ukuba bangcono kunabanye abantu. Ngokomyinge wobudala bezesondo bazama ukubonisa ukuba banento kwaye bangathetha, ngaba bethandeka, banomdla kwaye banako nawuphi na umfazi. Kukho nawuphi na, bahlale behlala kwiindawo zabo kunye nemibono yabo.

Indoda, njengowesifazane, ingabonakalisa ingqwalasela, ingakumbi ukuba umntu uyadityaniswa, inzala enkulu kakhulu kwisiqingatha sesetyhini iya kwandisa ukuzithemba kwayo. Amadoda isithembu kwaye akukho nto enokuyenza malunga nayo, ngaphandle kokuba kufuneka bawamukele. Njengaye nawuphi na umntu, amadoda athatyathwa ukuba ayenze, wonke umntu ufuna ukunambitha isiqhamo esinqatshelwe. Ngenxa yoko, abantu baya kuhlambalaza. Mhlawumbi, ukuba sasiyabavumela ukuba basitshintshe ngokuvulekile, ke le nkqubo iya kuzuza ngokuthe rhoqo. Indlela yokuziphatha kunye nento enokuyenza xa indoda ihlala iphosa kumfazi wayo?

Musa ukunyanzela amadoda kwaye ucinge ukuba abaqapheli ingozi, ingozi yokubanjwa eshushu, umngcipheko wokubhikiswa. Kodwa ke akayi kubavimba.

Amanye amadoda acinga ngokunyanzela kwaye atshintshe kuphela ngenxa yokuba awazange abe nalo kwaye ufuna ukuzama into entsha. Kwinqanaba elithile, oku kungabandakanywa ubuhlobo bakho, umntu uthatha ingozi, uhlola lo mngcipheko, ungamhlwayi, kodwa unganiki umntwini wenzeni.

Kukho enye inketho, ukuba umfazi akayikuvuyela into yokungcatsha, kuyacaca ukuba ngubani oya kuba mnandi, lona wesifazane ushiya kuloo ndoda, uyiphonsa, kuba akayi kwamkela. Ayikwazi ukuwamkela kwaye uyamkhathaza. Ukuba umfazi womntu uyabiza, uya kuhlawula, uya kuqonda ngokufanelekileyo impazamo yakhe, zama ukuyeka intanda yakhe kwaye uzilungise ngokwakhe. Kukho amanyathelo amaninzi, kuba abantu banomuvo wokuba singacingi ngabo. Ngelo xesha umntu uyasengozini, kulula ukufundisa, oko kukuthi, ukufundisa isifundo malunga nokuba ungaziphathe njani kwaye ungenzani. Emva koko, isiphumo sinokudakalisa kwaye singenakugwema. Le ndoda iya kuvuma nayiphi na imimiselo, ukubuyela kunye nokugcina umfazi wayo. Kuya kuhamba nayiphi na imfuno yakho. Kwaye ngoku unako, njengomzali oqinileyo, phawula iimpazamo uze ufake iimeko zakho. Xa wayeva isohlwayo ngenxa yesenzo sakhe, loo mntu uyaziqonda zonke izinto kwaye uyaqonda ukuba oku akufanele kwenziwe, kuba yonke into ibalwa kwaye akukho ntlawulo yomphefumlo.

Khawucinge nje: kutheni kunokukhokelela? Emva koko, indoda ayiyi kuguqula umfazi wayo, kwaye nangona kunjalo ke onke amaxesha. Akukho mzekelo ukuba isizathu siwe. Ukhohlakele ukungalingani olwenziwe ngokuvisisana nobukho bomtshato esitshatileyo. Ukuba akukho ukuvumelanisa kwintsapho, umonakalisi ubonakala kuyo - uhlanga. Izizathu ezikhokelela umntu ukuba atshintshe, unokugqitywa zombini kwimiba yengqondo, nakwisondo. Kwimiqathango yengqondo, umzekelo, kukho uxinzelelo olukhulu ekhaya. Ukusuka kwizinto ozikhethayo ngokumgxekayo ukuba akayi kuyenza i-pair of pairs, akayi kuthatha inkunkuma, akayi kuthatha izinto zakhe eziphonswe phantsi emva komsebenzi onzima, mhlawumbi ucinezela ukuba akafumani ngokwaneleyo, okanye, umzekelo, ufumana ngaphezu kwakhe. Kwimiba yesondo, mhlawumbi umntu akafumani umgangatho weemfuno zakhe azifunayo. Ukuba kunjalo, kuyacaca ukuba uya kujonga uvuyo kwicala.

Ungalokothi ubambe abantu bexakeka, musa ukukhupha, ungabeki naziphi na iziqulatho. Inyaniso yokwenzakala kwintsapho iyakhokelela ekubeni umntu angabhaliseki kwaye umkhokelela ekubeni ngumbono othile othi, bhetele, umntu akayi kukutya kakhulu imihla ngemihla, kodwa uya kuqonda ukuba sele esondele.

Umbuzo wobugwenxa ukhangisa umbuzo othi "Yintoni endiyenzayo? Yintoni endiyenzayo? ". Apha wena ngokwakho kufuneka uqaphele ukuba unokudibanisa kunye nokungcatsha kwexesha elilodwa, uphumelele kwaye uqhubeke, ukuthembela ngakumbi kumyeni wakho, okanye uya kuhlambalaza njalo nale nto. Ukuba uyayamkela - kuhle, ungumfazi oqinileyo, umyeni onjalo akayi kuze aphele ngenxa yezinto ezithandekayo. Ukuba awuzithobekisi, yishiye, kusekho abaninzi balabo baya kukuxabisa ngaphambili kwakho. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba kwakunjani, qwa lasele imeko kwaye wenze isigqibo esifanelekileyo.