Yintoni eyenzekayo xa umntu ephakamisa isandla sakhe kumfazi, kwaye kubaluleke ngani na? Okokuqala, kufuneka uqhathanise ukutyhulwa okufutshane ukuze umfazi angene kwi-hysteria kunye nefuthe langempela. Ngako oko, ungahambi kumntu owayezama nje ukuyeka ukuhlambalaza kwakho kwaye akukho mfuneko yokuba ulungele umfana, ukhangela kwisibuko kwisibuko phantsi kwamehlo.
Abasetyhini batshayiswa ngabantu ababuthathaka nabangenasiphelo, abathi ngale ndlela bazitsho nje. Ngokuqhelekileyo, umntu onjalo akaze angene ekulweni nomnye umntu. Uyaqonda ukuba akayi kumela phambi kommeli wesini. Kodwa, umfazi onjalo uyabethwa ngumfazi onomdla, kwaye, ngexesha elifanayo, bathetha ukuba nguye onokusola.
Ziziphi izizathu zala madoda? Eyokuqala, kunjalo, umona. Amadoda afana nomona wonke umntu kunye nayo yonke into. Bahlala behlolisisa ifowuni yentombazana yabo, bafunde yonke imiyalezo, ukulawula nokugweba zonke izono zokufa. Ukuba le ntombazana yayisandula yambona enye insizwa, eyayingazange ibone ebomini bayo, kuba lo mfana usuyena mcimbi obalaseleyo wobukhwele. Unokumangalela loo ntokazi ukuba, ngokwenene, umthandi wakhe kunye nokubukeka kwakhe kwakunjani uhlobo lwekhowudi kunye nephasiwedi. Kwaye, emva koko, ukubetha kulandelwa rhoqo. Le ndoda iya kuchaza isenzo sakhe ngokumtyhola intanda yakhe ngenxa yephuso layo.
Enyanisweni, iimeko ezinjalo zibonisa ukuba umfana unesifo esithile sengqondo kunye nesimo sokunyaniseka. Enyanisweni, kubonakala ngathi bayabathanda. Mhlawumbi lo lu thando, kodwa lungaqhelekanga kwaye lugqwetha. La mabhinqa abona intombazana ayilona lingumlingani olinganayo, kunye nepropati yakhe, ekufuneka izalise zonke iilayibrari ize iphendulele kwifowuni yokuqala. Intombazana ayikwazi ukuba neentombi, kwaye nangakumbi, bahlobo. La madoda ayenomona ngabo bonke emgceni kwaye yonke indawo ibone ukukhohlakele. Ngokuqhelekileyo, bazama ukuphumeza okanye ukuphumelela kwekhono ukuba loo ntokazi, ekugqibeleni, ayinabohlobo. Ukongezelela, le ndlela iyenzeka ngenxa yokuba kwimeko apho intombazana ingabikho mntu. Ngokuzenzekelayo ziba buthathaka kwaye azikwazi ukucela ukukhuselwa.
Ngendlela, kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba lo msebenzi awuqali ngokuqala kobudlelwane. Unyaka wokuqala nesiqingatha, umfana uziphatha kakuhle. Wonke umntu uyamangalisa indlela amthandayo ngayo kwaye axabise yakhe enye. Amadoda anjalo abiza amaxesha alishumi ngosuku, ayinakekele, acela yonke into. Ngokuqinisekileyo, abafazi bathanda le nto. Kodwa, ekugqibeleni, yonke imibuzo kunye nokunyamekela kuya kuba yinto ejwayelekile. Indoda isetyenziselwa intombazana kwaye ibeka isikhundla sayo njengento yayo. Oku kukhokelela ekubeni wenza konke ukuze abe ngowakhe ngokupheleleyo kwaye wayehlala esondele. Ngendlela, phantse bonke abafana kule ndawo bahlala beguqula amantombazana abo. Bachaza indlela abaziphatha ngayo ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo okanye abazichazi nhlobo, kodwa abavumelani ngokupheleleyo necala labo. Ngoko ke, ukuba udibana nomfana onjalo, emva kokuqala kokuphakamisa isandla sakhe kuwe, masinyane umshiye. Mhlawumbi kuya kubonakala ngathi uya kutshintsha okanye awukwazi ukuhlala ngaphandle kwakhe, kholwani kum, ngokuhamba kwexesha, uya kuphupha ukuyeka ukuhamba kwakho, kwaye oku kuya kuba nzima kakhulu. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, ukuhlukana nomfana onjalo kubuhlungu kwaye bude. Ngokuqhelekileyo, uqala ukulandela intombazana, ucele ukuba abuyele, mhlawumbi aze athuthumele ngezinyembezi. Oku kukuchaphazela abaninzi abafazi-kwaye babuya, benza iphutha elibi. Indoda iyaqonda ukuba ayikwazi ukumshiya ize ivumele ukuba enze nantoni na ayithandayo. Ngoko ke, kufuneka uyenze yonke into ukuba ungamvumeli ukuba akufumane ulawulo olupheleleyo. Ukuba loo nto inokubetha ubuncinci kanye, kufuneka uqikelele ngokucatshulwa. Kuphela, vavanya imeko ngokulinganayo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, kodwa kukho amaxesha apho intombazana inokubambisa ngokwenene indoda malunga neerbies. Isizathu salo rhulumente sihlala sihlaziya ngaphandle kwesizathu, ukugwenxa, sigqibelele ukungayinaki imbono yakhe. Kule meko, umfana, ngokuqinisekileyo, akalungile, kuba umntu akakwazi ukubetha umntu obuthakathaka, kodwa kunjalo, ngandlela-thile unokuthi ulungele. Kodwa ukuba, uyazi kakuhle ukuba akukho nto ityala, kwaye umntu ubenqande kakhulu, uze ubalekele kuye, kuba kungekudala ubudlelwane buya kuba yinto ebethayo, iindiza ezisuka kumanyathelo kwaye uzama ukupenda ii-phials nge-frequency-frequency cream.
Ubudlelwane phakathi kwendoda nomfazi kufuneka bilingane kunye nentando yesininzi. Ukuba umntu uphakamisa isandla sakhe, ubonisa ngendlela enamandla kwaye ufuna ukuba namandla phezu kwentombazana. Kwaye akayi kukuxelela, ndingathini na ukuba ndikhokele (nokuba enika izimbali kunye nezipho ezibizayo), ubudlelwane obunjalo buya kuba ngumphefumlo kwinqanaba legolide, kwaye ke, ngokufanelekileyo, ligolide. Okubi kakhulu, ulwalamano olunjalo luba yintolongo apho kungenakwenzeka ukubaleka.
Ukuba indoda yaphakamisa isandla phezu kwowesifazane, ngoko ulwalamano lwafika ekupheleni. Ungalokothi uvumele ukuvumela ubuthathaka ukuba uhlale nalabo abakuchukumisayo. Isibingelelo kulo mzekelo asikho nto efanelekileyo. Ngokuqinisekileyo ujika kwixhoba elingenakuzibona. Kutheni uguqulela ubomi bakho ngokuqhubekayo kwezilwanyana eziqhutywayo? Umntu oqhelekileyo akaze afike kwi-paranoia yokugula kwaye uzame ukugxotha umsindo wakhe aze azibambe ngoncedo lentombazana ebuthathaka kuye. Ngoko ke, ukuba unesimo apho umfana egcina wena ngamandla kwaye ehlekisa, cela uncedo kubantu abasondele kwaye uzame ukwenza konke ukwenza umntu onjalo ahlale kwixesha lakho elidlulileyo kwaye angaphinda aphule ebomini bakho.