Ukuba unomdla kwimibandela enjalo, inqaku elithi "Yintoni enokuyenza xa umntu eyika ukuba yedwa nomfazi" uya kuba nako ukunceda uze uchaze ezinye iinkalo zokuziphatha kwabantu.
Ngoko, kwenzekani entlokweni yendoda enqwenela ukuba yedwa kunye nomfazi? Kwenzeka ukuba abantu abancinci abazi nje ukuba baziphathe njani nabameli bobulili obuhlukile. Ewe, eneneni, kwihlabathi lanamhlanje, le meko kunzima ukukholelwa, kodwa kuvela ukuba kukho iikopi ezo zibomvu kwaye ziphaphatheke phambi kwentombazana. Ukuba, kwimeko yakho, lo mfana nguye kanye, ngoko ke, kufuneka ukuba uqaphele ukuba uthobekile kwaye uyamkeleka kakuhle. Ngendlela, naziphi na izizathu, unomdla kumbuzo ongafuni ukuba wedwa nawe. Ukuba oku kungumnqweno ongaqhelekanga, kungcono ukuba ungazami ukufumana loo mntu ukuba anqobe ukwesaba kwakhe. Kalula, unako ukunika isiqingatha esiphantsi kweepesenti ukuba uyamthanda ngaphandle kwememori kwaye yile mvakalelo eyenza ukuba uziphathe ngale ndlela. Abantu abancinci bahlala benzulu kakhulu ngobudlelwane, ngoko musa ukudlala ngeemvakalelo zakhe. Ukuba uqala ukuhleka ngenxa yokufumana okanye ukuzama ukuthetha naye kwaye umkhulule xa usondele, uya kuthatha njengobonakaliso beemvakalelo. Kwaye ekubeni unganandaba, ekugqibeleni, ukuziphatha kwakho kuya kuphulaphula intliziyo yakhe. Kunzima kakhulu ukuba abantu abanamahloni bavule kwaye xa wenza ukuba uthembeke kwaye uthembeke nawe, emva kokuba ithemba lakhe liphukile, uya kuvala kwaye avalwe ngakumbi. Ndicinga ukuba awufuni ukuba netyala ngenxa yokuziphatha kwakho okungakhathaliyo, umntu uhluphekile aze ahlupheke.
Ukuba uyayithanda le ntombazana, zama ukumbonisa iimvakalelo zakho, kodwa ngokucophelela kwaye unobtrusively. Kwimeko enjalo, awukwazi ukucinezela kwaye wenze ngokukhawuleza. Kuthatha ixesha lokugcina umgama, ngokuthe ngcipheko ukunciphisa. Lo mfana osemfana kufuneka afundiswe ukuba uyasondele, ufunde ukuthetha nawe kwaye ubonise iimvakalelo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abafana balolu hlobo banamava amancinci nabasetyhini. Ngoko ke, ngokokuqala ngqa, abakwazi ukucingela abo bathetha ingxoxo, bazive benamahloni ukubuza into okanye ukujonga kwindlela oya kuyo. Musa ukukhathazeka malunga nayo. Emva kwexesha, yonke into iya kutshintsha, kufuneka nje ube nesineke. Into ephambili, kufuneka uqonde ukuba intsha yakho ihluke kakhulu kubantu abaninzi banamhlanje. Oko babecinga ngokuqhelekileyo nokuchanekileyo, kuba akavunyelwanga. Ngoko ke, ukunyaniseka okugqithiseleyo kunye nokukhawuleza kunokudinakalisa kwaye kumsongele. Akayi kukuxabisa ukubonakalisa iimvakalelo, uya kudanisa kuwe kwaye aphele nje. Ukuba awufuni ukufumana umphumo onjalo-zama ukuziphatha njengentombazana yanamhlanje. Khumbula ngezi ngcamango ezifana nokuthozama kunye nokuhlambuluka. Kodwa, ke kunjalo, zama ukuhlalisana nabantu kunye nentlalontle, cinga izihloko zeengxoxo, cela umfana malunga nezinto ezinomdla, kodwa ungagqithanga loo miba ebona ukuba ivumelekile. Emva koko, emva kwexesha uya kufundiswa kuwe, kwaye ulwalamano lwakho luya kushiya ukwesaba nokungaqiniseki.
Kukho esinye isizathu sokuba abantu besabe ukuba bodwa kunye nentombazana. Kwenzeka kwimeko xa umntu ethanda intombazana, kwaye akayi. Indoda ingesaba ukuba iya kumbonisa iintlobo ezahlukeneyo, kodwa akayi kumela, kwaye uya kuzisola. Ukuzisola kunokubonakala ngenxa yokuba, ngokwenene, ayibi kwaye akafuni ukukhumbuza enento enyanyekayo yokuba kukho into phakathi kwabo. Kwakhona, intombazana inokukhupha kwaye ivakale, imvakalelo enobubele. Kule meko, indoda ayifuni ukumcaphukisa kwaye yenza ukuba buhlungu ngenxa yokungala okanye imvume, ekugqibeleni, ithetha nto. Kule meko, amadoda acaca ngokucacileyo ukungabikho kwabo ukuhlala bodwa. Bazama ukuyeka kwintombazana ebonisa iimpawu zengqwalasela, ushiye ekamelweni, xa ekhona kuphela kwaye yena washiya, ukunciphisa ingxoxo kumncinci kwaye angakhange abhekise kwicala lakhe.
Ukuba intombazana iziphatha ngendlela enjalo, cinga ngezinto ozenzayo nendlela ekhangeleka ngayo. Mhlawumbi umlandela nje njengenja kwaye uyanyanzelekile. Kuphantsi kwaye kuhlazisa. Ngaloo ndlela, unokumbiza, kunye nabanye ubabalo nje, kwaye, mhlawumbi, ukudeka. Kodwa wena, njengalowo nawuphi na umfazi, kufuneka uzuze kwaye uzihloniphe. Ukuba uyaqonda ukuba awuyidingi indoda, ukuba iphantse ibalekele kuwe, ngoko ke kukufanelekile ukuphumelela ingqalelo? Qonda ukuba nangona unikela ngesondo kuye, akuyi kumenza iimvakalelo, ngaphandle kwesifiso sezilwanyana. Kodwa uhamba kakhulu emva kwakhe, kuba ufuna uthando. Kodwa, ukuba indoda ibonisa ukuba awunomdla kuye, nangayiphi na indlela, uzama ukushiya umnqweno wakho uze uyibale. Ewe, ekuqaleni kuya kuba nzima, kodwa ke, ngokukhawuleza, uya kuqonda ukuba lo mntu akakufuni nhlobo. Isiqingatha sakho sesibini asiyi kuphinda siphephe kuwe, kwaye uzame ukungahoywa.
Ukuba umntu ukwesaba ukuba yedwa kunye nomfazi, ngoko uvakalelwa kakhulu kuye okanye akayiva nantoni na. Kwimiba nganye, kuyimfuneko ukuziphatha ngokuthe ngqo. Ukwesaba komntu ukuhlala kunye nentombazana kufuneka kuhlolwe kakuhle kwaye kuhlawulelwe ngokwaneleyo. Ungazikhohlisi kwaye uchaze indlela yakhe yokuziphatha ngento yokuba umfana uloyiko nje ngeemvakalelo zakhe. Xa umntu oyika iimvakalelo, uhlala ebonisa ingqalelo kunye novelwano ngezikhathi ezithile. Ngaphezu koko, ezi ziimeko azikho, kodwa ziphindaphinda. Kule meko, ngalunye ixesha, insizwa ikhusela umfazi omncinci nangaphantsi ngenjongo. Emva koko ungathemba uhlobo oluthile lolwalamano oluqhelekileyo. Kukho nawuphi na umzekelo, ukuba umfana uyakuphepha kwaye awuyikubona le ntliziyo yothando - uyayikhohlwa.