Musa "u-anchor" i-carapace
Ngabantwana yonke into icacile: kubo, naliphi na igama elitsha - njengetayitrayi, efunyenwe ngengozi kwi-sandbox. Ndiva ibinzana elilahliwe ngumntu (kwi-kindergarten, esitolo, esitratweni), apha bawuthabatha. Abantwana abaneminyaka emithathu okanye emine badla ngokungaqondi nentsingiselo yabo bafunga ngamazwi abasebenzisa entetho yabo. Bayakwazi ukuphindela kabini kwintetho enje, okanye ngokuphindwe kabini kwinkohlakalo, kwaye ngokukhawuleza bayalibale ngoku. Enyanisweni, xa abazali beba nomsindo, bekhubekile, bahlwaywe okanye bahleka, umntwana ngokuzayo uza kufungela umama noyise, bahlole ukuba banamandla. Kwaye mhlawumbi angafungekanga, kodwa igama elibangele ukuphendula kubantu abadala, khumbula ngokuqinisekileyo - iingcali zengqondo ziyibiza ngokuthi "i-anchoring", ukulungiswa. Ngoko ke, simele siluncede "ingxoxo". Ukuba umntwana uqala ukuphosa umgca ongcolileyo, yenza sengathi abazange bakuve nantoni na. Kodwa ngomda welihlo lakho, jonga umntwana. Ukuba uyinto ethile kuloo mzuzu, ngoko, ngokuqinisekileyo, ukuqalekisa kungumlomo wecala oza kutshabalalisa ngokwawo. Enye into, ukuba umntwana ubiza ngamabomu upapa ngengqondo, kwaye umntakwabo-u-shit ("izibhambano" ezinjalo ziyaziwayo ngokukhethekileyo) okanye asebenzise ukuhlambalaza, ukuqiqa ngokucacileyo ngentsingiselo yalo. Yitsho ngokukhawuleza ukuba kwintsapho yakho ayibonakalwanga. Ukuhlwaya okanye ukuhlazeka umntwana akufanelekanga; usengumncinci kwaye akayiqondi into akwenzayo, ngoko umsebenzi wakho kukumfundisa ukwenza into efanelekileyo. Imfazwe ekuphenduleni ukuphathwa kakubi - ngokuqhelekileyo into eyona nto ungayicinga ngayo! Kuvela ukuziphatha okumbini: umama noba bafunge, umntwana akanako? Ukuba umntwana ucela ukuba achaze intsingiselo yegama elibi, yenza loo meko. Xa kukho igama elihle kakhulu, unokulivakalisa, ucele ukuba ungabonakali. Ukuba akukho ziqhagamshelo, zitsho ngokuqinile: "Asazi amagama anjalo kwintsapho yethu," sitshintshe ingqwalasela yebhokhwe kumdlalo othile.
Thetha kum, Mama
Kwimizuzu engama-5 ukuya kweyisixhenxe imeko iyatshintsha - i-hooligans encinci iqala ukufunga ngokungcolileyo. Kutheni? Ngokudla kaninzi, ngale ndlela, bazama ... ukutsala ingqalelo kubazali babo! Ngokomzekelo, umama "uxhomekeke" iiyure ezimbini kwifowuni, kwaye unyana uzama ukumkrazula ngaphandle kwiphubhu ngaphandle kwesizathu. Akukho "mama, masidlale" ayisebenzi. Kodwa kuyimfuneko ukuba ahlaziye igama elihlazo - ityhubhu iya kufakwa kwangoko. Enyanisweni, umama uya kuqala ukuthetha ngentetho, kodwa ke uzonqabile kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo udlale naye! Esinye isizathu sokuhlambalaza ngumzamo wokumxelisa umntu: umzalwana osekhulile, umzobo wekhathuni okanye i-serial (ewe, ukuba ubakhangele nabo kunye nomntwana, uya kumangaliswa ubuninzi begama elithi "dude", "igosa", njl.). Esinye isizathu-umnqweno wokubukeka unamandla kwaye "unamandla" emehlweni oontanga. Indlela yokuxhathisa umntwana kumhlambela?
∎ Zama ukumisela ukuxhalabisa ngokomntu ngoku, uchaza okulungileyo nokubi. Iingcali zengqondo zithi: Iminyaka emi-5-7 yimiba engcono kakhulu yokuxoxisana, kuba abaninzi abantwana bahlakulela ukwesaba ukungahambelani kwezentlalo - bayesaba ukuba bangaphili ngokuvumelana nokulindela abantu abadala.
■ Naluphi na isizathu kunye naluphi na umlambo wokuxhaphaza umntwana wakho, hlala uzinzile. Yithi: "Andifuni ukuva amazwi anjalo kuwe!" Ungabonakali ukudideka kwakho, mhlawumbi umntwana uya kukukhumbula indlela ophendule ngayo kwaye ukususela ngoku angabhenela ukunyelisa abanye.
Fundisa umntwana ukuba abonise umsindo wakhe ngaphandle kokugxeka. Kungcono ukumvumela athi: "Wandithukuthelele njani, Mama!", Kunokuba kubekho ukuhleka komsindo emva kwakho.
"Umbhali, Phuza Yadu"
Xa ulutsha, yonke into iyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu. Okokuqala, kaninzi abakhathaleli oko abazali babo bacinga ngokuthetha kwabo. Okwesibini, intetho yabo igcwele amagama "angaqhelekanga". Kwaye oko akusikho umlingane (nangona kunjalo) - ngokukodwa ulutsha lwe-slang ("loft" (ubungqina), "tusa" (inkampani), "i-shousa" (abazali) okanye ukuphazamiseka kwemfashini yamagama ukuthungelwano kwi-intanethi (" , "krosavcheg," "ulandelelisiwe," "ulungeleliso," njl njl.) Nangona kunjalo, ngokugqithiseleyo, abaninzi abanokholo kwengqondo bakholelwa ukuba abatsha ngolwimi lwabo kufuneka ... bayeke bodwa, nokuba ngaba kukukhathaza. Iingcali, i-slang yolutsha yinto eqhelekileyo: ikhona, kwaye iya kuhlala ikhona njengento ebalulekileyo kwimfashiso yeselula. ulutsha, indlela yabo yokunxibelelana ngumoya wenkululeko kwihlabathi eliqhelekileyo elilawulwa ngabantu abadala, kwaye liyi-waterhed between "yethu" nelithi "engeyethu." Iingcali zithi i-slang yolutsha ihlaziywa rhoqo kwiminyaka emihlanu, oku kuthetha ukuba iibinzana ezikuqhubisayo, ziya kutshabalala njengoko umntwana wakho ekhula kwaye ekugqibeleni uye eselulwimi oluqhelekileyo.
Ubungenakubekezeleka
Abantu abadala bavame ukwesaba ngenxa yobundlobongela, obonakaliswa ngendlela enobudlova ukugcina nangendlela efanayo ukuthetha. Nangona kunjalo, izazi zeengqondo zibanxusa abazali ukuba bangabesabi - oku kuyindawo eqhelekileyo yophuhliso. Kubonakala ukuba ukusuka kwinqanaba lembono yokuziphendukela kwemvelo kwinqanaba lokuqala umntu ubona ihlabathi njengendawo engafanelekanga kwaye ulwela ngokubhekiselele kuyo, kuquka ukufunga amazwi kunye neengqindi. Kwaye kunye nobudala kuye kuza ukuqonda ukuba ihlabathi jikelele, ngokubanzi, alibi kakhulu. Ngako oko, ukucela ukuba umntwana uvuselele uxolo - umsebenzi ongeyonto engathandabuzekiyo kwaye, ngaphezu koko, uyingozi kakhulu: ukuba umntwana osemtsha ufanele aphephe ukutshutshisa kwakhe, ngoko kwixesha elizayo unokuba ngumtyholi. Ewe, oku akuthethi ukuba kufuneka ukhangele ngeminwe yakho endleleni eyazama ngayo "ukunikela ibunzi" kumntu wokuqala kumgca okanye indlela intombi yakhe engamhloneli ngayo ugogo wakhe. Bancedise "ukukhulula umphunga" ngendlela ephucukileyo. Ibhola, ibhoksi, ibhola yebhoksi okanye iintambo zanamhlanje - nayiphi na into eyenza umbane onamandla ukukhokelela kumlinganiselo wesantya.