Kungakhathaliseki ukuba umntwana wakho uyakhala, iinyembezi zakhe zithetha enye into: umntu omncinci akakwazi ukuzimela ngokuzimeleyo iingxaki zakhe kwaye ngoko ufuna uncedo lwabantu abadala. Ngoko zama ukuqonda okokuqala ukuba kutheni umntwana omncinci udla ngokukhala. Emva koko ncedise ukuba aphumelele ngokuvisisana naye "mna". Into ephambili, musa ukulibala ukuqwalasela umyinge womntwana, kuba yonke iminyaka inesizathu sokuba nezinyembezi.
Umbongo ngoTanya, owamisa ibhola emlanjeni kwaye ngoku uzalise le mlambo ngezinyembezi ezivuthayo, uyaziwa ngaphezu kwesinye isizukulwana sabemi bethu. Kodwa zama ukuyijonga kwinqanaba elithile. Intombazana inenkathazo, kwaye abantu abadala bazama ukumqinisekisa ukuba akukho sizathu sokucaphukisa! Kwaye kuphakamisa imibuzo eninzi ngokukhawuleza. Ngubani ochanekileyo ekuhloleni le meko-umntwana okanye umalume omdala? Ngaba bonke abantwana bayakhala xa bexhala? Ngaba oku akuthethi ngokubuthathaka? Ngaba olu hlobo lokubonakalisa iimvakalelo luya kulahleka kunye nobudala, okanye ngaba i-crybaby-baby forever? Ngethamsanqa, izazi zeengqondo zinempendulo kuzo zonke le mibuzo. Siyathemba ukuba ngoncedo lwabo, abazali baya kuba nako ukujonga isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo kubantwana ababethayo ngokungenakwenzeka.
Ukuba umntwana omncinci uyakhala, ngumqondiso weSOS .
Kwiintsana, ukukhala kuyincedo esinamandla kwisimo sokuzigcina. Ngoxa uncedo lolu buchule olulula, iimvumba zenza umdla kwabanye, zibaphoqa ukuba banakekele impilo kunye nokuthuthuzela. Emva koko, akukho nto enye inyane le-kid alikwazi ukuyenza - ahambe okanye akhulumi. Lapha usebenzisa isililo ukubiza umnina wakhe kumzuzu onzima. Ngokukodwa ukususela kwimeko kwimeko ephezu kwintsana - konke kulungiselelwe ukwenzela ukuba abantu abadala bangene "inzwa" ethile. Ngokukhawuleza uyasabela ekulileni komntwana, kusenze sibe nengqondo yokukhathazeka kwaye simkhuthaze ukuba asincede. Yaye le mpendulo iyabonakala kubantu abadala, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ngubani umntwana okhalayo-eyakhe okanye omnye umntu. Sisoloko sineengxaki, sivakalelwa nje ngokwahlukileyo. Kwaye ukuba kunjalo, kuyaqhelekileyo ukuba usana olusandul 'ukuzalwa lukhale njalo. Ngaphezu koko, ukuba impendulo yakho iyaphumelela, kwaye umntwana ushesha ukuthoba. Uyavuya, uyavuya - yintoni enokuba yinto enhle?
Enye into ukuba uzama ngandlela-thile ukuphucula imeko yomntwana wakho, kodwa awuphumelelanga. Ngokomzekelo, i-crumb yahlushwa yi-colic, ukukhala kwakhe akunakubekwa nayiphi na indlela. Emva koko ujikelezwe yimvakalelo engeyiyo yoncedo lwakho. Uqala ukhathala ngokucinga ukuba umntwana wakho akayivuyo, kodwa akukho nto enokuyenza. Oko kukuthi, unomdla kuye iimvakalelo zabantu abadala kwaye ngoko uziva uxolo kuye, njengomntu omdala uza kuba nesihe, onentlungu enkulu. Yaye intlungu yomntwana ozalwayo ibonakala ingapheliyo!
Enyanisweni, zonke izinto zininzi kakhulu. Ukuba umntwana uyakhala - mhlawumbi mhlawumbi ulambile, unesisu esiswini okanye ufuna ukulala. Kwaye masive ekulileni kwakhe: "Oo, ndiyintoni na into endiyonwabileyo!" - ngulo le fantasy yakho, kwaye akukho nto. Iimvakalelo zakhe azange ziphuculwe kangangokuthi wayesazi imeko yokudabuka okanye uxhalaba. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuya kwiminyaka enye nesiqingatha, ukuphendula okungalunganga kwenzeka kumntwana kuphela ngokuxhatshazwa komzimba. Ngoko ke, lathisa yonke imizamo yakho yokuphelisa ezi zizathu kwaye ungakhathazeki ukuba awuyikuyenza ngokukhawuleza. Emva kwayo yonke into, kungekudala okanye kamva, kwakhona, isisu sesincinci siya kudlula, kwaye ubuthongo bakhe buya kubakho. Kufuneka ugcine ukuzinza kwakho, kungekhona nje ukuba i-vzvinchennost yakho engapheliyo idluliselwe kwi-crumb. Kwimeko elithulekileyo, kuya kuba lula kuwe ukuba uqaphele iimbono zokukhala kwabantwana. Ngoko, i-uniform, inokwenzeka, ithetha ukuba umntwana uvukile kwaye utyhafile. Ukusebenza ngokubanzi kuhamba kunye, ngokusemthethweni, ngumoya onamandla oqhubekayo. Ukugquma ngokunyuka kukuxelela ukuba wayelambile, kwaye iifutshane ezinokuthi zingabonakaliswa ngenye indlela ezibuhlungu.
Umbuzo uyahluke: ngaba kufuneka ndigijime kumntwana omncinci ngokuphazamiseka kwimigqa yokuqala yokukhala, okanye, mhlawumbi, ukumemeza okungcono, isitimela esilula? Iingcali zicebisa ukuba ziphendule ngokukhawuleza ukukhala kwezingane, ukuba zifikelela kwiinyanga ezintathu. Xa umntwana ekhula, kufuneka umnike umzuzu okanye ezimbini ukukhala yedwa. Oku kuya kuzuza kuphela uphuhliso lwakhe. Kungcono ufunde ukunyamezela uhlobo oluthile lobomi ubomi kwaye ufunde ukwahlula iimvakalelo zakhe. Kodwa "i-solo" ende ayivumelekanga. Oku kunokuchaphazela umlingana womntwana, kwaye uya kukhula ukuba abe ngumntu ovaliweyo okanye ongenasidingo. Ngoko qiniseka ukuba uphendule kwinqanaba loncedo. Emva koko, omncinci, enovakalelo olunzulu, uyaqonda ukuba unomzali onothando oqonda iimfuno zakhe kwaye ukulungele ukuwanelisa.
Thetha nomntwana omncinane.
Ukususela kwiminyaka emibini ubudala, abantwana baqhubeka bekhulisa isigama sabo ngoko ke banako ukuthetha nabantu abadala kwizinga eliphezulu. Ngoku awusayi kuphinda ucingisise ngeminqweno yomntwana wakho. Ufika nje kuwe kwaye uthe ngokucacileyo ukuba kufuneka atshintshe iimbombo ngenxa yenkathazo encinane. Nangona kunjalo, ekuqaleni inkwenkwe iyakubonisa ukunyeliseka kwayo okanye ukukhala. Umsebenzi wakho kukumfundisa ukuba abize izinto ngamagama abo afanelekileyo. Emva kwakho konke, ukunyanzelisa umntwana ukuba abonise iimfuno zakhe ezibalulekileyo, umfundisa indlela yokusebenzisa uluntu oluqhelekileyo uqhagamshelwano.
Ingaba umntwana uhlawule imizuzu emininzi? Emva koko mncede, umphoqelele ukuba athi: "Andiyiqondi into ebalulekileyo. Chaza ngokucacileyo oko ufuna. " Ukuba uqonda isizathu sokuba umntwana wakho akhale, kodwa akakwazi ukuyiqulunqa, yenze ngokwakho: "Kukho ukulukhuni okunzima kangaka kwiindwangu zakho ukuba wonke umntu angabikho ngokulinganisela." Emva koko mnike uncedo: "Makhe ndikubonise indlela yokujongana nayo." Uyabona: ukugquma kuya kukhawuleza, kwaye umntwana uya kuzinyameka ngamandla akhe. Ngamanye amaxesha iinyembezi kule minyaka zivame ukuphakama, njengefowuni yecala kwindawo epholileyo. Zama ukumisa ukukhala okunjalo ekubonakaleni kweempawu zokuqala zokufika kweendudumo. Ngokuphazamisa umntwana ngento enomdla, uya kumfundisa ngokumfutshane ukugcina iimvakalelo zakhe phantsi kolawulo. Kodwa khumbula ukuba kubantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka engama-4 yobudala, iimvakalelo, kwakunye nezakhono zokuba nenkulumo yabomthonyama, ayinakuphuhliswa kangangokuthi banokuyenza ngaphandle kokukhala. Kwaye akukho nto yantloni, ngenxa yokuhlambalaza, umsindo okanye ukuxhalaba, okokuqala bafumana umlambo wezinyembezi ezibuhlungu. Kubi kakhulu ukuba lo mpendulo ungaguquki njengoko umntwana ekhula.
Iinyembezi zokuzisola.
Abantwana bokuqala esikolweni kwiminyaka emihlanu okanye emithandathu badla ngokukwazi ukusebenzisa ulwimi lwabo lwasekuhlaleni kunye nabanye abantu abadala. Yingakho indlela enesiqhwithi yokuveza iimvakalelo zomntu, njengokulila, igcinwe kwiimeko ezimbi. Ngokomzekelo, xa beziva bexinekile ngokwenyama nangokomzwelo intlungu. Okanye xa bexineke gqitha yilokho kwenzeka. Isizathu sezinyembezi sinokubakho nayiphi na inkxalabo. Ngokomzekelo, abantwana abasenkulisa abaniniki igalelo ngenxa yekhanda elimnandi, umama ngexesha lokuvuna waphonsa umngane onobuqhetseba, ugqirha uya kukhupha izinyo. Ukukhala kuyingxenye ebalulekileyo yempendulo yengqondo yomntwana kwiziganeko kwaye, ngokungaqhelekanga njengoko kubonakala ngathi, kuyadingeka ekuphuculeni phambili ubuntu. Ukukhala ngoku akunakuphela nje ukucela uncedo okanye umqondiso wesimo sempilweni embi. Iinyembezi zivumela ukuba isikolo sokufundela esikolweni sifumane ingqwalasela yakhe kwintlungu. Ngokomzekelo, ukwesaba ukuthuthela kwintsapho entsha. Kwaye kwaye ulawule ukuxhatshazwa okuthintekayo. Siza kuthi, xa, ngokucokisekileyo, zifunyenwe ngokufanayo ngexesha lomdlalo ukufihla nokufuna. Ngezinyembezi, kulula ukunyamezela intlungu xa kungekho puzzles, okanye ingqumbo, ukuba unina unxeba indlebe zakhe ngaphandle kwesizathu. Abazali bahlala bexhalaba xa, ngokubanzi, banomntwana omdala emanzini kwindawo emanzi ukusuka ekuseni kuze kube sebusuku. Okokuthi, bafuna ukwazi ukuba baninzi ukulila inyanga kuthathwa njengesiqhelo. Ayikho impendulo engafaniyo, kuba yonke into ixhomekeke kumoya womntu ngamnye. Ngokomzekelo, kukho abantwana - imisila yomama, kunye nokuhlukana kumntu osondeleyo abahlala behamba kunye neinyembezi ezinobundlobongela. Ukuba umntwana uhlala elineemeko ezinjalo, kunokubakho izizathu ezibini: mhlawumbi akayikho into enomdla, okanye unamandla amakhulu kwaye unqatshelwe apho oontanga lwakhe akakwazi ukunceda ukukhala. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, abantu abadala kufuneka bazame ukuzolalisa isikolo esikolweni. Kwaye oku kuyimfuneko ukuba uvumeleke iinyembezi zakhe: "Ndiyayiqonda ukuba uyadabuka enkulisa engenamama." Musa ukuyihlazisa umntwana okhalayo nangayiphi na indlela, ngokukodwa nabangaphandle. Le nkqubo ehlazo ayiyi kunceda, kodwa iya kunciphisa kakhulu ukuzithemba kwayo.
Gcina ingqondweni kwaye yile nto. Umntwana oneminyaka engaphezu kwe-4 uqala ukuphendula kwinto abantu abadala abakuthetha ngokuzisola. Ngaphezu koko, banokuba banamandla kakhulu kwintsapho yokufundela ukuba ngamanye amaxesha kunzima kuye ukumelana neinyembezi ezinzima - iinyembezi zokuguquka ngenxa yokungathobeli kwakhe. Yaye xa ufumanisa ukuba umntwana wakho uyakhala ngokukhawuleza ngenxa yesi sizathu, musa ukukhawuleza ukugijima kuye ngebhekiki ngakwesinye icala kunye necoleta kwenye. Ngokutsho kweengcali zengqondo, ukuphumelela ngokukhawuleza kwimeko epholileyo kunokuya kumntwana oguqukileyo ukuba akonakalise. Oku kuya kumthintela ukuba aqhubeke evakalelwa uxanduva lokuziphatha kwakhe. Ngoko ke, ukuba intombi yakho endala ibuhlungu ngomncinci, kwaye ngoku ke bobabini bakhala ngokukodwa kwaye uziva uxolo kubo bobabini, okokuqala ukuzola uhlangothi oluchaphazelekayo. Unganikeli kubazali ukuba bacabange intloko yabo inetyala ngokubulela ukuguquka kwabo. Iinyembezi zomntwana oye waqonda ukuba netyala lakhe libangela isizathu esibalulekileyo sokuphuhlisa ubuntu bakhe. Bamfundisa ukuba aqonde into elungileyo nento engalungileyo kulobu bomi.
Kwaye kulo nyaka kukho iinyembezi zeengwenya. Okokuthi, umntwana sele sele eqonda ukuba ukusebenzisa iinyembezi kunokusetyenziswa ngabazali abangenazo iimpawu. Ndingathanda ukuba umama athenge ithoyilo entsha? Ngoko, kwanele ukulungiselela umthombo wezinyembezi phakathi kwevenkile-kwaye into efunwayo ngokukhawuleza ifunyanwa ezandleni. Nanku kuyimfuneko ukusabela kwiindlela ezinjalo ngokuthe ngqo, mhlawumbi kuya kuba nexesha elide ukungena kumkhwa womntu onobuqili. Kuyavunywa, kwiimeko ezinje, abantu abadala kufuneka bafumane i-iron extract. Ngaphandle kwayo awukwazi ukwenza.
Ukuba umntwana uyakhala, ikhula.
Umntwana uyakhula, kwaye kunye nakho ukukwazi ukuqonda ngokufanelekileyo ihlabathi-kunye neengaphakathi kunye nokuzungezile-kuphuculwe. Umntwana osemncinane wesikolo uthetha ulwimi lwakhe olusesikweni kwinqanaba lomntu omdala, unokukwazi ukulawula izenzo zakhe, ukuqonda iingcamango zakhe neemvakalelo zakhe. Kule minyaka ubudala umntwana uqala ukuqonda umahluko phakathi kweendlela zokuziphatha ekhaya nakwiindawo zoluntu, kuluntu. Yingakho eqhubeka ezama ukukhalisa iinyembezi nabangaphandle, kwaye ukuhleka kokukhala kushiya ikhaya, kwintsapho.
Umntwana osemncinane wesikolo uyaqonda kakuhle ukuba xa ekhala ngesifundo ngenxa yentshukumo okanye entendelezweni ngenxa yokulahlekelwa yintlalo ebhola ibhola, abantu abazungezile baya kumhleka. Umntwana ufunda ukunquma ukuba ngaba le nto okanye loo meko imelwe iinyembezi, okanye iya kubonakala nje njengobonakaliso obuthathaka. Ukujonga abantu abadala kunye noontanga, iincwadi zokufunda kunye nokubukela iifilimu, umntwana osemncinane wesikolo sele esazi ukuba kukho ukukhala okuvumelekileyo kwaye kwamkelekanga. Umzekelo, unokukhala xa inja yakho intanda ifile. Kodwa ukuba uqhutyelwe entanyeni ekulweni, awukwazi ukwenza oku.
Kwaye ukuba kubonakala kuwe ukuba umntwana wakho unamaxesha amaninzi kwindawo emanzi, ke le nzululwazi, inokwenzeka ukuba, ayifumanga. Emva koko kufuneka uncedwe, ucebise ngokuthetha nabantu ukuba basebenzise amagama amaninzi ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zabo, endaweni yokuhlakulela ukungcwina. Kwaye ukucacisa ukuba kulunge ngakumbi, kuba kuya kuqondwa kungekudala. Masiqwalasele kuphela isimo sengqondo somntwana kwaye ungamcindezeli. Umntu onamahloni, ongakhuselekanga okanye ongenakunqwenelekayo wesikolo angakwazi ukufakwa kwisimo esiqinileyo - kunye nokuphazamiseka kwemihlaba engekude. Ngoko ke, ngaphambi kokuba aqale ukuqonda isayensi yokuphila ngaphandle kwezinyembezi, zama ukutshintsha isimo sakhe sengqondo. Ngomonde kwaye ngokuqhubekayo ukuvelisa kuye isibindi, ukukholwa kuye, ukunyaniseka ukuba uqonde iingxaki zemihla ngemihla njengentlekele yehlabathi. Kwaye okokuqala, bonise ngomzekelo wakho.
Ukuba umntwana wakho uhlala ekhala ngokuthula, efihla ekhoneni, oku kungaba ngumqondiso wezinye izinto ezingenakuthenjwa, ukusuka kwimbono yakhe, ingxaki. Isizathu saloozinyembezi senza ixesha elingquzulwano kunye nabafundi ofunda nabo okanye nootitshala, ukwesatshiswa kwepakks zasekhaya, ukungaxhatshazi phakathi kwendlu. Kwaye ngaphandle kokuncedwa ngabazali ngokuqinisekileyo akakwazi ukwenza. Ngendlela, uyayiqonda le nto, kodwa akayi kukwazi ukuxelela ngabo. Enyanisweni, kubantwana abaneminyaka eyi-8-10 ubudala kukho uhlobo lokukhala, okokuqala ekubonakala kubonakala kungenangqiqo. Iza ngokwayo, kwaye ekugqibeleni iphela ngokukhawuleza. Lezi "iinyembezi zokukhula", uphawu lweendlela zenkqubela. Ngokutsho kweengcali zengqondo, abazali abafanele bajonge kuzo okanye bazame ukunyamezela umntwana oncibilikisayo kunye nazo zonke iinyaniso kunye neengwenya. Ungaphazamisi umntu okhulayo. Iinyembezi ezinjalo ziya kumnceda kuphela, kuba zincedisa ukuba zilungelelanise nehlabathi eliguqukayo.
Abazali abaninzi banomdla kulo mbuzo, kodwa ngaba abadala kufuneka bafihle iinyembezi zabo kubantwana? Nazi izinto zeengqondo ezicinga ngale nto:
- Abantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka eyi-5-6 bangethusa xa bebona umama okanye ugogo. Emva kwakho konke kule minyaka baziva bexhomekeka ngokukhethekileyo kubantu abasondeleyo. Ngoko, bafuna ukubona bonke abanamandla, banamandla, banokuzithemba ngokunyamezela naluphi na ubunzima obunobomi. Ngoko, ukuba kunokwenzeka, zifihle iinyembezi zakho kwiintsana ezincinci.
- Kusuka kubantwana abadala, awukwazi ukufihla, kodwa kuphela xa ukhala ngenxa yesizathu esihle kakhulu. Emva koko ngoncedo lwakho umntwana uya kufumana amava okuphila. Ufunda ukuba ebomini zibuhlungu okanye zihlandlo ezibuhlungu. Ukuba ezinye ilahleko zingenakuguquka kwaye ukuba kwimeko enjalo iinyembezi ziyimvelo kwaye ngenxa yoko iyakwazi ukuphendula kumntu nawuphi na. Ngokomzekelo, unina unokukhala xa uyise ephosa. Kodwa ukulila phambi komntwana obonakaliswe ngengubo eneensimbi ezingaqhelekanga akukafaneli.
"Kodwa nangona iinyembezi zakho zibangelwa ziinkxwaleko ezinzulu, qiniseka ukuba uchaza isizathu salo kumntwana wakho ngokukhawuleza kangangoko, kungekudala uhlehlise. Ngaphandle koko, uya kunkwantya, akwesabise, aqale ukulahleka ngombono kwaye ngenxa yoko uya kuba noxinzelelo.
Khumbula ukuba umntwana omncinci, ngokukhala rhoqo, unokufumana izizathu zakhe ezilungileyo. Kwaye ukuphendula ngokukhala kufuneka kube yindlela efanelekileyo yokwenza izinto.