Kuhlekisayo: kufuneka uguqule iileta ezi-2 kuphela, kwaye ngoku "ukunyaniseka" kuya kuba "umona". Kwiminyaka engama-2-3 emva komtshato, izimo zengqondo zaliphi na ezo zibini zizinzile kwaye zilinganise. Siyakwazi, ngokuqinisekileyo, silungiselele isidlo sothando, senze umangaliso omnye komnye, kodwa kusekho into ekhoyo. Ndaphinda ndifuna ukunqwenela, amava, ubungqina bothando - into ethi, alas, ayikwazi ukuhlalisana kakuhle. Emva koko silinde ixesha, qaphela uhlobo oluthile lokujonga kwaye uqale: "Kutheni ubhekise kuye njengaloo nto?", "Yazi njani ukuba umhlobo wakho uyancwina?" Ewe, yintoni intle loo nto? Inzondelelo ixhasa imizwa, igcina ubudlelwane phakathi kokubola. Iingcali zengqondo zikholelwa ukuba imfesane ngamaxesha onke iyanyanzelekile ukuba ibonakale njengobungqina bokuba sithandwa. Bobabini nababhinqa bayazikhangela, baxabane, baveze ukungafuni, ukuva ngokuphendula: "Ndiyamthanda kuphela." Ukuba nomona, siqala ukuhlalutya okwenzekayo, sicinge ngakumbi malunga nobudlelwane, njengokungathi sisicinga ubomi bethu bemihla ngemihla. Kuhlala kunceda iingqondo. Ngaba ucinga ukuba lo mzekelo nje: siyamthanda kwaye ngoko sinomona? Okumangalisa kukuba, kwenzeka enye indlela ngeenxa zonke. Ngokuqhelekileyo ekuqaleni, umntu uthanda ngakumbi, omnye uvumela ukuba amthande kwaye ngoko uthanda ukuthanda, oko kumthatha. Kwaye emva kweminyaka emi-5 okanye eyi-10, owokuqala, nje ukukhathala ngobudlelwane obunjalo "obunye," uqala ukuwujonga rhoqo ngexesha kwaye ufumane indawo. Kwiqabane lesibini, oku kukutshatyalaliswa. Ekuqaleni akayi kukholwa, ke uyacaphuka, aze abe nomona onamandla kunene kwaye ekugqibeleni uyathandana nomlingane wakhe.
■ Musa ukufihla umona. Le yintsingiselo yesiqhelo yabantu, ngaphandle koko, ukuqokelela ezintweni ezincinci, kuba buqhumane.
■ Ukuphendula umona wakhe ngokwaneleyo. "Ngaba unomonde?", "Andifuni ukuva nantoni na enjalo" - amagama anjalo adala ukuphendula okuqhubekayo, okubuhlungu, okukwazi ukuchitha ubuhlobo. Ngoko ke, ngokukhawuleza kunokwenzeka, uqinisekise ukuba iqabane elingenanto okanye ukunyanzela umona wakhe. Amazwi, ukubandakanya, ukubamba, ukudibanisa amehlo kwamehlo. Ukuba ujikelezwe ngabanye abantu, thabatha umthande wakho ngesandla okanye ufake isandla sakho ehlombe lakhe. Ukuthatha okunjalo kuthathwa njengomnqweno wokuba ukhona, ukukhetha wonke umntu ojikelezayo: oku kungam.
■ Kakade, uyayithiya umntu othanda ukulwa naye kwaye uzama, ngeendlela zonke uvule amehlo kuye kwintanda. Ngokuchasene noko, kufuneka kudunyiswe. "Uyamangalisa, inwele yakhe inhle, yendalo, mhlawumbi, kwaye iingubo zihlala kakuhle." Nqabile, kodwa yinyaniso: emva kokudumisa, umncintiswano, okunokwenzeka, awuyi kuxhalabisa iqabane lakho. Mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba ilahlekile imvakalelo?
■ Bonisa yonke imbonakalo yakho: "Ndiyazi into eninzi ngayo, kodwa yenza ukuba ndibe ncinane." Umlingane onjalo umvakalelo ongafanelekanga uya kubangela ukuphela kokufa: "Wenzani uvuyo ngaye?" Kubalulekile ukujonga oko kusebenza ngaphandle kwam. " Ikhwele linika ithuba lokuba ngcono. Elinye lalo candelo livakalelwa kukuba liphantsi. Ukuba kuthiwe ukhethe omnye umntu, kuthetha ukuba uhle kakhulu, ukhaliphile, unomdla. Unako, ngokuqinisekileyo, ukuxabana, unokumangalela umlingane ngokungcatsha, kodwa akukho nto iya kutshintsha kule nto. Kwaye kunzima. Iinyembezi, ukuphelelwa lithemba, ehlala, njengokulawula, iinyanga ezimbalwa. Emva koko (kungakhathaliseki ukuba imeko) kunomnqweno wokutshintsha: ukuba ube mnqabileyo, kuncokola kakhulu kunxibelelwano, kukhangeleke kwaye kukuhle. Kwaye ude ufunde ulwimi lwesiHindi, ngoko uya kuba ngcono. Yaye yonke into yokuba ukuziva kobuphantsi kuyona nto iphambili yokuqhubela phambili nokukhula kobuqu. Bangaphi abantu abasetyhini emva kokuhamba kwexesha babethelela kubayeni babo ngokubenza babe nomona. Kwakukho oku baqalisa ubomi babo obutsha.
■ Xa umona ubulungisa kwaye ulungelelaniswa, cacisa ngokucacileyo imida yelizwe. "Kuze kube ngo-Oktobha 1, ndiza kuhamba kunye nomsindo, ndize ndizive ubuhlungu kwieholide zikaNovemba, uze ulinde kancane, kwaye emva nje konyaka omtsha ndiza kucinga ngokuya kukwenza ngokulandelayo." Ngoko ukuziva kungenakulibala. Kuhlala kuselula lula ukusinda ubunzima, xa uyazi ukuba baya kugqiba.