Ngendlela yokuqala njengolu hlobo, uthando alukho kwimvelaphi yobudlelwane, phakathi kwabo kwakungekho ngaphezu komnqweno wokuzala, okubonakalisa kuzo zonke izinto eziphilayo zeplanethi yethu. Ukukhangeka ngokoqobo kwakusekelwe kwimimandla elula yokuzala kunye nonina. Umntu ngamnye uveza iimvakalelo zakhe ngendlela eyahlukileyo, kodwa indlela yokufumanisa: uthando okanye inkohliso?
Njengoko inkcazo yomxholo wothando awunalo ngokuchasene nombono wokukhohlisa. Uthando luvela kwiintlobo ezahlukahlukeneyo, ukusuka kwinto sonke esiyifumana ngayo ebomini bethu, ukuba sizithande ilizwe lethu, kodwa uhlobo oluhle kunabo bonke noluthando lwenene, yinto enothando phakathi kwezithandani ezimbini. Olu hlobo lothando esinokuluchaza njengoluhlobo olunothando oluqinileyo, isithandwa esichukumisayo, amava kunye nokunyamekela umntu wesibini walo mbandela onothando olubalulekileyo kubalulekile.
Ngelo xesha, sihlala siqaphela ukuba umntu esiyithandayo ehlabathini yiyona nxalenye ekhanyisa indlela yethu, nangokwimpikiswano, sizama ukungazikhubekisi omnye nomnye kwaye senze ingqondo yethu ukuba siqhubeke sijabulela ezo ntsebenziswano zisondele othandekayo, ukwamkela uthando nokuxolela inkohliso. Ngokuqhelekileyo ngaphambi kokuba luthando olunjalo sivakalelwa kukuba abanye bethu bayakholelwa ngothando ngothando. Loo nto ubizwa ngokuba ngumthando, unokuthi "sidibanise" intloko yethu, siyikhumbule ingqondo, sinokuziphatha njengabantwana kwaye asiyiqondi le nto ngenxa yokuba asikhathalele ngokuziphatha kwethu, ungakhathaleli ngengcamango yomntu, ngokungekho mntu unomdla kuye ngaphandle komnye ndoda, ngenxa yokuba sithwalwe. Ngaphezu koko, kubathandana nabantu abanothando akukho lizwi elinje njengam, babonisa uthando lwabo lunyunyana luthi-WE.
Uhlobo lwesibini luthando phakathi kwabantu ababini lunokuthiwa uthando locansi. Kuye, omnye wamalungu angamthanda ngokwenene, njengokuba athande ngokungathandabuzekiyo kwaye angenakuzikhumbuza, ephazamiseka kwimvakalelo yakhe, kwaye oku kuya kuba yintando kuye, ngoxa umlingani wesibini akayi kubona ngaphezu kwesenzo sesondo kunye nenduduzo yeemfuno zakhe zesondo.
Uthando olunjalo lomlingani wesibini lunokuthiwa lukho ngaphezu kokukhohlisa, ukukhohlisa ubudlelwane, kodwa ekuqaleni kubalulekile ukwazi ngokuchanekileyo lo thando okanye inkohliso ukuze kungaphambuki. Kwizobudlelwane obunjalo, uphawu lwesibini alunamathintelo kumlingane wakhe, njengomthetho, akanandaba, ngokubanzi, onayo. Ngethuba lomntu onothando ngokwenene, le ndlela yokuziphatha isiqingatha sayo iya kumbulala, kuba akakwazi ukucima uthando, okanye ukukhupha ngumntu kwaye uyayiqonda, kuyimvakalelo yakhe, kwaye ayikho indlela elawulwa lula ngeendlela ezithile. Ngobudlelwane obunjalo, ukuxabana kubakho ngokuphindaphindiweyo, ngenxa yoko kukho izikhalazo ezingapheliyo ixesha elide, kuba kunzima kumntu ukuba aqaphele umgca phakathi kothando nothando.
Ngobudlelwane phakathi kwabantu, kunokukhokelela kunye nokukhohlisa kokuqala, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kunika ithuba lokucinga. Ngenxa yezinto ezikhohlisayo ubuhlobo? Isizathu esona sizathu kukuba umntu uyayesaba, into enokuyithetha, oku kwenzeka, kodwa kutheni, ngenxa yokuba uyamthanda, kwaye nawe. Uloyiko nje ngemiphumo yale nto, kodwa ukuya kwisinyathelo esinjalo esicatshangelwayo, akacingeki ukuba indlela enjalo yokuphuma kwimeko enzima ingakhokelela ekubeni yinto yokukhohlisa umntu wakhe. Namhlanje akazange amxelele ukuba wayehamba nomncinane nomhlobo wakhe, ngomso umzekelo, oko wayezama ukukwenza, umntu ukuba adibane kunye kwaye kwiintsuku ezimbalwa wayengatsho ukuba wayesela ikhofi kwindawo yokudlela kunye nomhlobo omtsha, waya endlwini yakhe. Ewe, yonke into engabonakaliyo, kodwa ekugqibeleni yayikhokelela ekukhohliseni kwaye njengesigqibo sokupheliswa kobudlelwane. Ewe, njengokuba kunokwenzeka ukuthetha ngabantu, ukukhohlisa into - kunye nokuba kuyimfuneko ukulwa kumanqanaba okuqala okubonakala kwayo, susela umshanelo ococekileyo olwalamano lwakho. Kungcono ukuthetha inyaniso, ewe, uya kuxabana, ukuxabana, kodwa ngaphandle koku, kwaye ubudlelwane abuyinto, abantu baxabana, ukuba bayathandana, baxolelana. Kwiimeko ezinzima kakhulu, akufuneki ukuba ucele umngane okanye omaziyo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba wenza njani, kufuneka ukhethe oko, kwaye ube noxanduva lwakho, nokuba yintoni na okufuneka ukuba uyenze yona. Khawukhumbule nje ukuba ukohlise kanye - ukhohlisiwe kwakhona, ngoko kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba ukukopela nothando zizinto ezimbini ezingahambelaniyo.
Wonke umntu unokuhlala ngaphandle kothando, kodwa umntu onjalo akayi kulahleka kakhulu, uya kulahla yonke into. Akakwazi ukuziva ukuba ufuna umntu, ukuba umntu umkhathalele aze amlindele; Kwakhona akayi kukwazi ukuzivakalela ngokwakhe ngokumalunga nomnye umntu. Kufana nendoda engazange ikwazi ukubona iintyatyambo ebomini bakhe, ayizange ibone indlela intyatyambo eqaqambileyo inomdla ngayo imibala yayo; wayengenakuyithokozela umculo, akazange avume ukuhlabelela intwasahlobo yeentaka, wayengenakubona konke ubuhle bemvelo, wahlala ubomi bakhe obukhulu.