Musa ukucinga ukuba yinkxaso encinci neyimfuneko yabazali bobabini yabantwana abajongene nokuqhawula umtshato wabo. Emva koko, abantwana banama-egoists angunaphakade, abanomdla wabo. Kwaye ukuqhawula umtshato kwabazali, nangenxa yabantwana abakhulileyo, akusona nje into emangalisa ngayo, kodwa uvavanyo lwangempela. Imibuzo yokuqala efika engqondweni nangomntwana omdala - "Yintoni endiyenzile?"
Kwaye ke kuphela abantu abazibuzayo: abazali baqhawule umtshato, njani ukuphatha le nto? Ngoko, makhe sifumane oko umntwana kuya kufuneka akwazi ukunyamezela, kwanomntu osele ushiye iminyaka yobudala kunye nokunakekelwa.
Abazali bahlukanisile phakathi kwabo, kwaye bathathe isigqibo sokuba baphathe njani oku, abancinci nabantwana abakhulileyo sele bephoqelelwe. Kubonakala ngathi umntwana okhulileyo uya kusabela ngokuzinzileyo kweli qiniso, kodwa oku akunjalo ukulawula.
Ukwahlukana kwabazali kunzima kwaye kuphazamisa nanini na. Ukongezelela, umtshato usisiganeko. Akukwenzeka nje ngoko, kwaye nangaphambi kokuba umtshato uqhawule umntwana uba ngongqina olungenakuzibandakanya kwiimpikiswano ezininzi. Kwaye, ngelishwa, phantse abazali abanako ukuthetha kunye nokuvumelana.
Kule meko, ubuntu bomntu, nokuba ngumntu omdala, ukuzimela kwakhe kusemngciphekweni. Wonke umntu kwisibini esitshatileyo uzama ukutsala umntwana kwimpendulo. Kodwa ekutsaleni abantwana babo njengesigxina kwizobudlelwane, abazali bayonakalisa abantwana babo, besenza umsebenzi ongenakwenzeka kubo.
Umntwana omdala - umphulaphuli omdala
Ngelishwa, kuba ngumntu omdala ongabangela amava amaninzi okuqhawula umtshato. Uyaziqonda ngakumbi, unokufumana izigqibo kwaye ngokufanayo ufumana imisebenzi engavamile. Ngomonde uphendula kumama wakhe "Ndixelele ukuba ndilungile!" kunye no-Daddy "Ewe, uyangena!". Uva ukuhlamba okuninzi ngabantu abaluleke kakhulu kuye, ukuba kunokuba nzima kakhulu "ukugaya". Ngoko, umntwana ozalwayo kubazali kwindawo "yemfazwe" ngu:
- Waistcoat kunye no thu thuzela
- Umphulaphuli ophulaphulayo
- Umdla ochaphazelekayo
- Isizathu kunye nenjongo yobomi bebini
Yonke le ngumntwana. Kwaye ukuba kumabango amancinci akhoyo - ufuna ukunyamekela, umntu omdala uba "unxibelelwano oluphakathi", uncedo kumama kunye nobaba. Ngoku khawucinge ngolu hlobo: ukuba umntwana ufumene bonke ubomi bakhe (ukunyamekela, uthando, induduzo), kwaye ngoku uyanyanzelekile ukuba anikezele, kungekhona ngokuzithandela, kodwa nangona usongelo lwekhefu losapho-ingaba oku kuya kubangela inkxalabo yomzali onomzali onzima kakade ubudlelwane.
Xa kucacile nakubantwana abadala ukuba abazali bahlukane, akulula ukugqiba indlela yokuphatha le nyaniso. Ngoko ngaphezu kwendima yomgcini woxolo kunye nondlalifa (kwimeko, zonke iingxaki zentsapho), umntwana uya kufuneka abe ngumzali ngexesha elide. Kukho nawuphi na, ngelixa abazali bexazulula iingxaki zobudlelwano bobudlelwane. Ziyinyamekele, kwaye kungekhona kwimiba yemihla ngemihla, kodwa nangokweengqondo - intuthuzelo, intsiphelo, ububele, uthando ... Kodwa umntwana unokumelana nexesha elide kangakanani nengcinezelo enjalo ngaphakathi? Mhlawumbi ngelinye ilanga liya kuqhuma?
Umntwana kunye nenkqubo
Ngelishwa, inkohlakalo enkulu ekuqhawuleni umtshato kukuba abantwana abadala. Indlela yokudibanisa nenyaniso "yokungcatsha" (njengoko kuboniswa xa abazali behlukanisile) - oku kubandezela abantwana abancinci, ngelixa abantwana abafanayo behlupheka ngenxa yesinye isizathu.
Ukongezwa kubaluleke kakhulu ngenxa yoxanduva kwaye ngexesha elifanayo ukwakheka kwentsapho yakho. Kunoko, unyana okanye intombi isabandakanyeka kwinkqubo yobudlelwane besizukulwana esidlulileyo. Unalo lonke ubunzima balobu dlelwane, nangona ixesha lokuba ayenze intsapho.
Kule ndlela kukho ukuziva ukukhathala ebomini, ngamanye amaxesha - ukungabi nalutho. Ihlabathi alinalutho ukuba lingenalo, lithandekayo. Umthandayo, indawo yomsebenzi, uvuyo oluncinane, imikhwa.
Ifomu njengabantu ngabanye ingabakho kuphela kule meko.
Yaye intsapho apho umntu omdala ehlala khona, umntwana owaziyo, usebenza ngokungalunganga. Yonke imihla kuyo - njengentaba.
Kwaye kunobungozi obungakumbi, ukuba ngaba abazali bahlukanisile nomntwana omdala ixesha elide - njani ukuphatha ubomi ngaphandle kwenkqubo eyayixhaswa ngumntwana, akucaci.
Ubomi kwixesha elinjalo lubonakala lulula, lutsha. Emva koko, kangangeminyaka emininzi, wayethukunyiswa yimvakalelo phakathi kwabazali bakhe kunye nokuzama ukubuyisela uxolo lwabo.
Iingcebiso
Ukuba ungumzali, kwaye ulwalamano lwakho nesinye isiqingatha asisekho mfuneko, zama ukukhusela abantwana abasakhulayo kwiinkathazo ezizayo kunye neenkqubela. Umntwana akufanele abe yimbangela yokuxabana, okanye umlamli phakathi kwabantu ababini abangadingiyo. Kungenjalo, kwiminyaka emininzi abantwana bakho abadala baya kunyanzeliswa ukuba bajongane nabo: abazali baqhawule umtshato, njani ukunyanga, ukuba yenzeni, yintoni efunekayo kum ...
Ukuba ungumntwana omdala, zama ukulibala ixesha elithile ukuba abazali banakekela abantu. Akunjalo ukuba awakhuphuli kuwe ngoku, kodwa kunoko-ke. Khumbula ukuba asebenzi ngeenjongo ezilungileyo, kodwa "kwiimvakalelo." Kulo rhulumente, xa ihlabathi labo liwa, abanokukhathazeka. Ungazivumeli ukuba unxweme kwaye usetyenziswe ukusombulula kunye nemibuzo. Ekugqibeleni, akukho mntu wabanyanzelwa ukuba batshata. Ngokubeka isitampu kwipasipoti, babecinga imbopheleleko ethile yokuba kwakuyimfuneko yokuma ngokwabo-njengoko nje abantu abadala kufuneka bakwenze.