Ihlabathi lomntu ngamnye liquka abantu abathetha nabo kunye nabathonya ubomi bakhe ebuntwaneni, ebusheni, ekukhuleni. Ukukhula, umntu ukhetha ngokunyanisekileyo ukujikeleza kunye neendlela zokuthetha nabantu abahlukeneyo. Nangona kunjalo, wonke umntu ubandakanywa ebomini bomntu wonke, lowo ubona imihla ngemihla, othetha naye imihla ngemihla, kodwa akacingi ukuba ukuthetha nabo kubathinta ubomi bakhe. Ngokuphathelele abamelwane.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukukhumbula abo bazana nabo, bakhumbula abamelwane kwindawo yokugqibela, kodwa ngaba ngabantu abahlala nathi ngokoqobo "ngodongeni" kwaye ngubani, nokuba siyayithanda okanye ayikho, ithintela ubomi bethu, nokuba siyayithanda okanye ayithandi. Masifunde ukuba ngubani "ummelwane" kwaye unqume indlela yokuhlala naye.
"Ummelwane" ongummelwane
Ngaba uye wambona ukuba ngokuqhelekileyo xa uthetha ngabamelwane, abantu abaninzi bakhumbula ngokuqinisekileyo abo bantu abazisa iingxaki-ukwenza ingxolo, ukuxeka, ukuhleba, ukuthetha, njl njl. Wena. kanye nombono "ummelwane" kwimpilo yemihla ngemihla iyingozi, ilayishwe ngamabhalana alula kwaye ekugqibeleni abe yinto ezinzile yomntu. "Mbi", "kungekhona wakhe", "omnye umntu". Enyanisweni, oku akukhawulezi.
Inzululwazi ezininzi zikholelwa ukuba ulwalamano loluntu kummelwane luhlala kwiindawo ezinzulu ze-subconscious kwaye luvela kwi-Stone Age, xa umzabalazo wobomi kunye nokulondolozwa kwentsapho yafundisa abantu ukuhlukanisa yonke into ejikeleze "eyabo" kunye "nomnye umntu". Oku kwenzeka xa kwakukho iimfazwe zokufumana izibonelelo, indawo, inzala; xa kubonakala kwintsimi yoluntu, enokuqikelelwa kumawaka eekhilomitha eziqhelekileyo, yaba ngumfokazi. Kwaye ngokuchanekileyo kuba i-anthropologists, izazi zenzululwazi zithi, kumntu wanamhlanje, ngenxa yokungabikho kwemfazwe, kuyimfuneko ukuphumeza le ntshukumo yangaphandle ngendlela yokudala umfanekiso wesitha. "Siphumla ekhaya" "bahlala phantsi," siya kugubha usuku lokuzalwa - "bahamba ukususela ngobusuku kuze kube sekuseni," sikulungisa xa kunomzuzu wokukhululeka - "badibanisa imini nobusuku," " soloko esenza igalelo kwimeko - "bayabambelela impumlo yabo kwishishini labo.
Kuyinto yemvelo ukuba xa ungena kwindawo entsha yokuhlala, okwethutyana, umntu kuqala kokufunda zonke iqondo lokungcola kwendalo kunye nabantu abaza kuhlala nabo. Ngokungaqondi, sinamathela ngokucacileyo kumfanekiso ocacileyo kwaye, njengokuba kunjalo, wenze isigqibo sokuba "uya kusikhusela ukuba siphile."
Nantsi enye imeko eqhelekileyo, abaninzi abanokuzibona kule meko, akumangalisi. Eyona nto ingcono - kuya kuba lula ukuba uqonde imbono yokuba sizama ukuzithumela kubo bonke abafundi. Ngoko, ukubuyela ekhaya emva komsebenzi, ukhathele, ukuphupha ukuphumula, ukuphonsa zonke iingcinga ngaphandle kwintloko ekhululekileyo, sivumela ukuqiqa kwethu ngokucacileyo ukunikezela indlela yethu yokuqala, ngoko kuyinto evamile ukuba ingxolo encinane i-wrestler kunye nomkhuseli avuke kuthi. Indlu yam yinqaba yam. Indlu yindawo apho sihlala khona. Kuphela ngokungafaniyo noluntu olumandulo kwihlabathi lanamhlanje, kunye nabamelwane bethu, sihlula imingcele engummiselo, kodwa uluntu-yengqondo-"bethu" ubomi / "babo" ubomi.
"Ummelwane wam"
Ngaphandle kweendlela ezikhuselekileyo ezikhuselekileyo, siziziva sisengozini kuzo zonke iintlobo zamandla kunye nathi, njengokuba kunjalo, qaphela, vumelana ukuba kukho umntu "onokusikhusela ekuphumleni", "kunokusithintela ukuba siphile," sinokuzivumela ukuba sibe into ecinezelweyo. Kwaye "ngakumbi" siyakukhusela, silwa, ngakumbi "baya" bacaphukisa, "ningacingi" malunga "nathi".
Ewe, "abanakukuvumela ukuba baphile ebomini babo, ngoko kutheni uvumela" ukuba "kwiingcamango zakho, ebomini bakho, kukuvumela ukutshabalalisa uxolo? Khumbula ihostele zabafundi, ezithe zaphela ngo-3-4 ntambama ekuseni. Iincwadana zeDisco, abantakwabo ommelwane, abahlobo kunye neentombi zamantombazana, abantwana abasandul 'ukuzalwa, befuna iincwadana ezingapheliyo kunye nokubonisana, bethetha "akukho nto yokuyenza" kwaye nangona kunjalo, abaninzi balala, bafunda ngokugqibeleleyo, kwaye baxoxwa ngokukhululekile nabanye abantu. Kwaye abantwana abakhulile kwihostele abangakwazi ukulala phantsi kweemeko zokukhanya kunye neengxolo? Bazenza njani? Inyaniso kukuba, ekuhlaleni kwindlu yehostele, umntu uyazi into emlindeleyo kwaye uyakwamukela le nyaniso njengokuba kunjalo, uyamkela abantu abahlala apho, indlela abahlala kuyo. Ekugqibeleni, emva koko, into ebaluleke kakhulu yinto enxibelelwano olukhethayo nabantu.
Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba kukho into efanayo phakathi kwakho, into edibanisa ngayo, kwaye kukho imigaqo, iibhenyile kunye nemfihlo, malunga nokuba kukho umntu owaziyo. Dlulisa oku ebomini bakho. Yintoni ofana ngayo nabamelwane bakho? Indawo eqhelekileyo, ukungena ngokuqhelekileyo, indlu eqhelekileyo, ididi eqhelekileyo. Yiyo eyenza abamelwane "bethu" ngokumalunga nabantu abasuka kwenye indawo, izindlu, ukungena. Kwaye wonke umntu ohlala kufuphi nawe unokufumana i-biography ehambelana nale ndlu, indlu, isitrato. Indlu nesitalato apho uhlala khona. Wena. kwaye wena "wabo" uqobo. Akukho mntu oya kuphuma kwindawo ehlala kuyo kwaye asebenze, eguqula ubomi bawo kwingcambu, ngenxa yokuba "umntu usikhusela"? Yaye phi ukuqhuba? Kuye "omnye", "abangaqhelekanga" abantu? Ngoko ke, ukuba uqale, ukwenza ubomi bube lula, kufuneka uvume ukuba wena nabamelwane bakho bayindawo eyodwa. Nangona iimbono ezininzi zenzululwazi malunga nobudlova obunemvelo, iimbali zibonisa ukuba akukho mdwebo wedwala ubonisa nantoni na eya kubonisa iimpikiswano ezidlulileyo phakathi kwabantu. Kuloo maxesha kukho iingcamango zoluntu kunye nemithombo yonke yemvelo. Emva kokuba wamkele uluntu lwakho, sele usenzile isiqingatha semfazwe. Ngoku, sele sele usele ndawo eqhelekileyo, unokubeka imithetho.
IMITHETHO YOBOMI BONKE
Ukuhlala noxolo nabamelwane
Imithetho yangaphakathi, apho abantu ngokwabo baxhasa uxhulumano lwemihla ngemihla kunye nomnye - i-etiquette. Le yimi miselo eyaziwayo kwaye igcine ingqalelo - kungekhona ukudala imisindo enamandla kungekudala emva kwe-23.00, kodwa nangomhla, lumkisa abamelwane ukuba ukulungiswa kucetywayo okanye iindwendwe ezininzi zifika ekubhiyozelweni komhla kwaye xa kuza kupheliswa. Kwakhona, ungabakhathazi nabamelwane kunye nezicelo eziqhelekileyo zokusebenzisa ifowuni, ukuboleka ityuwa, ungabonakali inzala ebomini kubomi bodwa, kwaye ukuba ufanele usebenze isicelo, ngoko kungenako ukuba ungene kwigumbi kwaye uthabathe ngokungenakuthi ukuba uyaphika. Ukongezelela, kubalulekile ukwazi ukuhlambulula izitebhisi kunye nokutshintsha ii-bulbs ezitshisiweyo.
Ukubaluleka okukhulu ekuhlaleni kunye nabamelwane kudlalwa ngokuqonda kwakho ngokucacileyo ngendlela yabo yobomi, intsapho yabo. Kubalulekile ukwazi oku njengentlonelo yobomi bomnye umntu kunye nombutho wokuxazulula iingxaki ezidibeneyo. Ukuqala kwiingxaki zokuphucula ikhaya lakho kunye neyard kunye neemeko xa wena okanye abamelwane bakho ngolunye usuku kufuneka bajikelelane ukuze bancede. Emva koko, kukho iimeko xa esinye sezihlobo sagula, kwaye emnyango apho kuhlala ugqirha onokukunceda kwimimiselo yokuqala. Okanye ungadinga uncedo oluphuthumayo ukuba, umzekelo, ikhefu lepayipi. Kulula kwaye kunokwethenjelwa ukufaka isicelo kubantu abaqhelekileyo kunabantu abangaziwayo.
Kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu xa udibanisa ukugcina ubuninzi kunye nobubele. Ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuqala ngokuqhelana naye, njengokuba ukhetha, unokumema ummelwane wakho (omelwane) ukuba akutyelele itiye enomnandi. Unokwenza ngokuchaseneyo uze uphathwe kubamelwane, udlulisele, kodwa ungangeni kwindlu, ukuba ungamenywanga. Musa ukubuza abantu malunga nobomi babo, malunga nokukhuliswa kwabantwana kunye nezinye izihlobo ezingekho. Unganikeli ngcebiso. Futhi musa ukwenza abahlobo. Khumbula ukuba oku kukutyelelwa kwintlonipho kunye nolwazi. Bonisa ukuba ungubani kwaye uxelele kwiimeko apho ungathembela ukuba kukho imfuneko yoncedo.
Iziganeko eziqhelekileyo xa abantu beqhelana, ukuba banomdla oqhelekileyo, bahlala rhoqo. Ngokomzekelo, oomama abasondelene nabo abahamba kunye nezingane kwi-sandbox enye okanye amadoda abo baqhubi. Kule meko, ukuqhelana kwenzeka, ngakwesinye icala, ngokukhawuleza, kodwa ngakwezinye icala kunzima. Kungenxa yokuba ngenxa yoluntu kwimimandla inokuba yinto engafaniyo yokuhlukana ngokupheleleyo kwezinto ezithandayo kunye nobomi bonke, kungabonakala ingcamango yokuba ummelwane wakho sele useyomhlobo wakho. Ngenxa yoko, ukuziphatha okungalunganga, ukuqhelana okungahambelaniyo, inzala engavumelekanga ukuba ufunde kabanzi ngobomi bomntu womnye umntu, umnqweno wokucebisa into ethile, ukuxelela ingxelo yakho, njl njl. Musa ukumangaliswa kwaye ukhubekiswe, ukuba kulo mzekelo uza kudibana neenjongo zakho ezilungileyo. Ubume bakho ngummelwane, kungekhona umhlobo, kungekhona isihlobo. Kwaye umsebenzi wakho kwindlalifa yommelwane kukukwenza ukuba wena kunye nawe ukhululeke ukuhlala kunye. Kwenzeka ukuba ubudlelwane bokwabamelwane buba nobuhlobo obusondelene, kodwa oku kwenzeka ngezinto ezinqabileyo kwaye kufuna ukucoca.
Indlela yokulungisa iingxabano kumelwane
Imithetho yangaphandle ilawulwa ngumthetho, kodwa, ngelanga, ihlala iphulwa. Yaye ukuba ufumanisa kunzima ukungabonakali kumculo ovakalayo ngaphandle kweendonga, ukunyathelisa nokukhalaza, ukuba kule meko ufumanisa kunzima ukugxila ebomini bakho, ngoko uzama ukwenza ngokubambisana, ngokusebenzisa imvume yakhe. Kule meko kukho iindlela ezimbini: zomthetho kunye nendlu. Okokuqala, sinokukhetha ukuba yeyiphi na ukuba ayisebenzise. Ukwenza oku, misela ngubani ophambi kwakho, into acinga ngayo, ukuba yeyiphi na ingqondo yakhe, ngubani na onguhlobo, ngubani igunya lakhe, into ebalulekileyo kuye, njalo njalo. Ukuba awukwazi into enje kwaye awufuni nokukwazi, ngoko ke sincoma ukuba, ukuba singabandakanyi kwisigaba sokuqala sothethathethwano naluphi na iimfuno kwaye uthethe kuphela ngokuzithoba nangenzuzo. Kwaye, ke, ungasongeli, ungabi nantoni na, ukuze ungabangeli ubundlobongela obongezelelweyo. Mhlawumbi abamelwane bakho bavusa umntwana, kwaye abazali bahlala ixesha elide. Kule meko, kungcono ukuthetha nabazali, ngokumxwayisa ngale ntombazana. Kwaye ulinde. Njengomthetho, oku ekugqibeleni kudlula, abantwana bakhula. Nabamelwane bahlala.
Kukho ukhetho xa kuqeshwe indlu kwaye akukho mntu uxanduva lwezinto ezenzekayo apho, ayithwali. Inyaniso kukuba umnikazi wendlu, emva kokusayina isivumelwano, akayiyo eyakhe indlu kuze kube yilapho isivumelwano siphelelwa yisikhathi. Abaqashi kunye naye abanokuthetha nokuba akayithandi. Kwaye kunye noluntu lwabantu abanamakhaya alinaso umgangatho kule meko. Kuyahluka kwabanamelwane abanzima kunokwenzeka ukongeza abantu abanxilisayo abangayiqondi into eniyicelayo, kwaye ngokuphindaphindiweyo - abayikhumbuli ukuba ufikile kubo. Kwiimeko ezinje, kukho iimeko xa kukho umnxeba omnye kwipolisa kuncedwa ngengxelo "ngabantu abasolisayo" abangena kuloo ndlu okanye abantu ababonakala befuna amapolisa. Awazi ukuba ngubani ohlala khona kwaye kwenzekani!
Xa abamelwane besenza ingxolo bengaziwa okanye iintetho zoxolo azisebenzi, ungasebenzisa ithuba lokumema-polisa. Kodwa kufuneka silungele into yokuba kuthatha imizamo eninzi, izibilini kunye neziphumo zinokulindelwa ixesha elide. Ukubiza ngoku bhetele 02. Ifowuni yakho iya kuthathwa ingqalelo kwiphephancwadi kwaye isicelo sakho siya kudluliselwa kwisitishi samapolisa sendawo, emva koko ulawulo oluya kwenziwa - oko kwenziwe ntoni kwesi sikhalazo. Unokufaka isicelo nakwimapolisa ngokubhaliweyo, kubhetele ngokubambisana (emva koko, oku kuziphatha kwabamelwane akuthinteli kuphela). Isicelo kwiofisi kufuneka sibhaliswe kunye nawe okanye sithunyelwe ngeposi erejistwe, esilumkise ngako. Impendulo kufuneka inikezwe emva kwenyanga emva kokubhaliswa kwesicelo sakho. Yaye ukuba uthe wagqiba ukuhamba ngale ndlela, kufuneka uqedele le ntetho de ingxolo iyayeka konke, kuba ukuba ujika, kwixesha elizayo izenzo zakho aziyi kuthatyathwa ngokungathandabuzekiyo kunye nabamelwane abanomsindo okanye amapolisa aphuma ukutyelela ngokusemthethweni.
Okona kubaluleke kakhulu, ohlala kuyo kunye naluphi na ulwalamano olwakhayo, khumbula ukuba emva kwexesha lonke le nto iya kuba yinxalenye yembali, i-biographie yakho. Yaye ukuba iimeko zokuqhawula umtshato wena, njengokuba kukho umzekelo, malunga nabavakalisi ukuba uya kuhlala ukhumbula nge-nostalgia efudumeleyo.
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