Indlela yokuphendula kwiimeko zokuqala zesini kwintombi yentsha?

Mhlawumbi bonke abazali baphupha ukuba umntwana wabo uhlala encinci, kodwa abantwana bakhula kwaye ngamanye amaxesha akuko bonke abazali bathatha ixesha xa intombi yabo ijika ibe ngumfazi. Ndifuna ukulawula umntwana wam, kuba andifuni ukuba enze iimpazamo ezinkulu, aze ahlupheke. Kwaye ngokungaqhelekanga okanye ungafundi ukuba ubuncwane bendodakazi yakho kungekudala wamfumana amava okuqala ngokwesini. Kufuneka uqonde ukuba intombi iziphatha, njengoko wamvusa.

Kukhona umbuzo omele ukwenze? Konke kuxhomekeke kwiminyaka yomntwana, kuba ukuba uneminyaka eyi-12-13 ubudala le nto yinto enye, kodwa ukuba uneminyaka engu-17, yinto enye.

Njengoko bethetha ukuzola, uxolo kuphela.

Into ebaluleke kakhulu ayikho:

• Vuka
• Meme
• Ukuba neentloni
• Vala indlu
  

Oku sele kwenzekile, kufuneka uxolelane kwaye wamukele yonke into ngokuzithoba. Ukuba unomtshato othembekileyo nentombi yakho, umele uncede ngenkxaso yakho, uthando, iingcebiso, ube ngumhlobo onolwazi kuye. Kuya kuba kuhle kakhulu ukuba umama njengomhlobo onolwazi unokuxelela intombi yakhe malunga nolwazi lwakhe lokuqala lwezesondo. Kule meko, awukwazi ukuya kuzo zonke iinkcukacha uze uzilungiselele ukuba intombi inokubuza imibuzo. Iimfesane kunye neengqungquthela zingabangela ukuba intombi ihambe ekhaya. Eyona nto ingcono kukuba ngumhlobo ogqwesileyo wentombi yakho, ukuqonda, ukwamukelwa, ukuncedisa nothando, kwaye akufanele ukukunqande ukuba udibana nentombazana kunye nesoka lakhe (nangona ungathandi ukhetho lwakhe konke).

Abazali bafanele bazi ukuba ngubani na apho intombi yabo ihlangana khona, ngaphandle koko ulwalamano lwabo nentombi yabo lunokuma. Ukuba awuvumeli intombi yakho iphume endlwini ize uyikhiye ekhaya emva kwesikolo, oku kunokubangela ukuba udandathe ixesha elide, okubangelwa ukuzibulala. Xa ufunde malunga namava okuqala ngokwesini, kubalulekile ukudibanisa naye kwaye uzama ukuseka ubudlelwane nentombi yakhe, kufuneka aqiniseke ukuba nayiphi na imeko yokuphila angaya kumama, kumfazi onamava ongeke anike iingcebiso ezilungileyo, kodwa iya kuxhasa.

Cacisa intombi yakho ukuba ukuba umfana wakhe uyamthanda ngokwenene, ngoko akayi kubambelela ngesondo, ukuba kufuneka ufunde ukuthi cha. Sifuna nje intombi ukuba ichaze yonke imiphumo yesondo ngaphambi komtshato. Umntwana kufuneka azenzele imida emimiselo yangaphakathi, engayi kuyenyuka-ngenxa yexesha lakhe elizayo.

Ezinye iingcebiso ezifanelekileyo:

1. Emva kokufunda malunga neentlobo zokuqala zesini intombi yakho, qalisa ingxoxo ngokuzola, njengokungathi uthetha ngesihloko esiqhelekileyo.
2. Incoko kufuneka ibe ngaphandle kokufundisa ixesha elide, umntwana kunzima ixesha elide ukuba alumkele.
3. Kwintetho yakho, cacisa intombi yakho yonke into eyenziwa ngumntu kunye neengxaki zokulala ngesondo. Namela ingqalelo yezinto eziphilayo, shayela izinto ngamagama abo.
4. Akukho nto inokuthetha ngayo ngobomi bentlobano yomntu, ngenxa yokuba umthamo omkhulu wenkcazelo uyaphela ngokukhawuleza kwimemori yomntwana.
5. Akunjalo nawuphi na umntwana kufuneka asongelwe ngokumxelela ngezifo ezithathelwana ngesondo.
6. Ukuba intombi yakho ibuza umbuzo, kodwa awuyazi impendulo kuyo, ungesabi ukumxelela malunga nayo. Zama ukufumana iimpendulo zakhe kuyo yonke imibuzo yakhe.
7. Emva kwengxoxo, kufuneka uhlolisise ukuba umntwana uye waqonda ngokufanelekileyo ulwazi olusisiseko. Isalathisi esihle kukuba umntwana emva kwengxoxo, kusekho imibuzo.

Ukuba amava okuqala eentlobano zesini esenzeka ngentombazana entshatshulwayo ngaphandle kwelwazini lwakho, oku akusiyo isiphelo sehlabathi. Ukongeza, injongo yakho ephambili kukunceda umntwana wakho aqonde zonke iintlanzi zobudlelwane obusondelene phakathi kwendoda kunye nomfazi kwaye abe ngumhlobo onolwazi oya kuhlala exhasa aze ancede.