Xa umntu ethanda, kubonakala ngathi uyintanda yakhe epheleleyo. Kodwa kudlula ixesha, kwaye siqala ukuphawula iimpazamo kunye nokungahambi komnye umntu. Ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba ukubeka ibha ephezulu oyintandokazi, intombazana iqala ukumcela ukuba atshintshe kuye. Kodwa ngaba wenza into efanelekileyo kulo mzekelo kwaye akafunanga kakhulu kumfana?
Boudideal
Kwenzeka ukuba ukukhangela omnye umntu, simbona ngakumbi amathuba kunye namathuba kunoko. Ngenxa yoko, abafazi baqala ukucela amadoda ukuba enze oko angafuni. Le nto ingaba zezicelo ezahlukeneyo: utshintshe isitayela, ukusika okanye ukukhulula izinwele, utshintshe umsebenzi, ufumane imfundo ephakamileyo njalo njalo. Ukufuna oku, rhoqo intombazana ifuna umnqweno wakhe kuphela. Kodwa enye ayilunganga umhla, uqala ukuthetha ngento yokuba ufuna kakhulu kuye. Yaye ngubani na othe tye?
Enyanisweni, kule meko akukho nabani na abanamalungelo okungahambi kakuhle. Wonke umntu ufuna ukuba abo sibaxabayo, bangaba ngabakhethekileyo, abona bahamba phambili, abanobulumko kakhulu. Kodwa ngakolunye uhlangothi, sifuna kwaye sifuna le nto, asisoloko sicinga ngako, kodwa ngaba oku kufuna loo mntu? Emva kokudibana naye, intombazana yabona oko yayifana nayo. Wayeyazi ukuba, umzekelo, uthanda ukugqoka iiphatho zezemidlalo okanye ubalekele ukuhlamba intloko. Kodwa ekuqaleni kwakufanelekile, kwaye ngokukhawuleza waqala ukuxhatshazwa. Ewe, yonke into ichazwa yinyaniso yokuba ngaphezu komntu omthandayo, ngakumbi ufuna ukuwuguqula. Kodwa ngakolunye uhlangothi, xa intombazana iziphatha njengendoda, iqala ukucinga ngokucokisekileyo ukuba ayikufanelekanga. Ukuba akayena umgangatho afuna ukuwenza, ngaba uyahlushwa aze ahlushwa? Akubona onke amabhinqa aqonda ukuba izinto kunye neemfuno ezibonakala ngathi zincinci, kuba indoda ingaba yinto ebaluleke kakhulu kwaye ibalulekile, kwaye ngelinye ilanga uya kunzima ukuzithela. Nangona unomsebenzi onokuqonda, kodwa ngelo xesha uthanda ukusebenza njengomqeqeshi, akuthethi ukuba umfazi uya kwenza ngcono xa emnyanzela ukuba alahle umsebenzi wakhe ozithandayo aze ayenze lowo ucinga ukuba ufanelekile ngakumbi kumfana wakhe. Sivame ukufumana lula kakhulu ukunquma omnye umntu, okulungileyo kuye. Kodwa asiyikucinga malunga nento eyenza ibe nolonwabo ngakumbi. Ngexesha elinjalo umntu uqala ukuthetha ngento yokuba ibhinqa idinga kakhulu kuye.
Enyanisweni, xa abafazi besoloko befuna utshintsho olusuka kubafazi babo, ukuba bayayithobela ngokungathandabuzekiyo, ngoko ngenxa yoko abafazi baxinekile. Ngenxa yokuziqhayisa, lo mntu uyaba novuyo, kwaye unako ukunika loo mfazi oko akufumene ekuqaleni. Oko kukuthi, ukuphonsa umqhubi womsebenzi ngokuzenzekelayo, oye wachitha iiyure ezintandathu ngosuku kwaye wahamba apho ngovuyo, kwaye ukuguqula ukuba asebenze njengomprogram, apho ahlala khona kwiiyure ezisi-9 kuye kwenza ukuba agula ngento ayenzayo, loo mntu uyakunqumla, aphelelwe ngumsindo kwaye anomsindo. Yaye xa intombazana iqala ukumbuza ukuba kutheni yenze loo nto, kutheni engayichitha ixesha elaneleyo kunye nokuba kutheni eyeka ukunandipha ubomi, uyakwazi ukuphendula ngokulula ukuba yena ngokwakhe akazi into ayifunayo. Emva kokufuna utshintsho kuye, kwafuneka aqonde ukuba akafumani iziphumo ezilungileyo kuphela, kodwa neziphumo ezimbi. Kwaye kule meko, indoda iya kuba yinto echanekileyo.
Ngoko ke, ixesha ngalinye lifuna into ethile kumntu, okokuqala, cingca imeko efana nayo, kodwa sele isondelelene nentanda yakhe. Ungayiphendula njani loo mfuno, kwaye yintoni eya kwenzeka ebomini bakho ukuba uyitshintshile ngokuhambelana neminqweno yendoda? Ngokuqhelekileyo, ezi zilinganiso zinceda ukuqonda ukuba ezinye iimfuno akufanele ziqhubele phambili, kuba aziqali nje umlingiswa womntu, kodwa ziguqula isimo sakhe sengqondo kuwe.
Akuzona zonke iimfuno ezimbi
Kodwa usathetha ngeemfuno, awukwazi ukubiza ukuba zonke izinto abafazi abazibuza kumadoda zibi. Kukho kwakhona iimfuno ukuba intombazana inokuyifaka kumfana wayo. Oku kungaba phantse yonke into, ingahambelani neenguqu zakhe. Umzekelo, nawuphi na umfazi onobomi obufanayo nomntu unokufuna uncedo kuye. Akukho nto eyoyikekayo okanye eyoyikisayo kule. Ingcamango yokuba umfana kufuneka abe yindoda kuphela, kwaye intombazana ngumfazi wendlu, yindawo yokudlulela, apho abantu abanesilumko bazigweba. Xa abini bobabini basebenza, loo mntu kufuneka aqonde ukuba le ntombazana iyanxinwa kwaye ifuna ukuhlala phambi kweTV okanye ikhomputer, kwaye ungayi kukhwela ekhitshini, ngoxa uthabatha ukucoca nokucoca. Ngoko ke, loo mfuno iyakwazi ukuhanjiswa ngabafazi. Kwaye ukuba bavusa umntu, kukufanelekile ukucinga malunga nokuba uyakuthanda kangakanani. Emva koko, umfana oziva evakalelwa ngokwenene, okokuqala, ufuna ukwenza konke ukwenza intombi ethandekayo ivuyiswe. Kwaqhekeka phakathi kokuhlamba, ukucoca kunye nokupheka, akunakwenzeka ukuba uyavuya.
Intombazana inelungelo lokufuna ukuba lo mfana unelungelo elaneleyo. Kodwa, kunjalo, musa ukude kakhulu kule ntonga. Ukuba ibhinqa ifuna indoda ukuba ibe nayo rhoqo kunye nayo kuphela, ukulibala ngexesha elifanayo abahlobo bakhe kunye neminqweno - ayiphutha. Wonke umntu kufuneka abe nesithuba somntu, nokuba nguye lo mntu uyintanda.
Enye imfuno yokuba intombazana inelungelo lokubeka phambili umntu ukula ukusela izidakayo. Kakade, akuthethi ngezo meko xa umntu eselayo emva kokusela ibhotile yobhiya aze abuyele ekhaya enyamekayo inceda intombazana okanye ichitha ixesha. Ezi zidingo ziqhubekile xa umntu esetyenziswa ngokuchanekileyo kunye nohlobo okanye yena ngokwakhe. Ngexesha elifanayo, unokucinga ukuba akayotywala, kuba, umzekelo, uzisa imali endlwini kwaye akenzi i-scandals. Kodwa ukuba akakwazi ukuchitha ngaphandle kotywala kunye neentsuku ezimbalwa, le ntombazana inelungelo lokufuna ukuyeka nokuze isongele ukwahlukana. Ngelishwa, abaninzi abantu basela kwihlabathi lanamhlanje kwaye ngokucacileyo abaxhomekanga kwibhotile enye yobhiya. Ngako oko, inxalenye enkulu yamadoda ibona le nto iyisiphukuphuku, kodwa eqinisweni, yonke into iyimbi ngakumbi kunokuba ibeke. Into eninzi abantu abayiselayo kunye nenani elikhulu lamantombazana, alunganga, alungiswanga, kodwa uyangqina nje ukuthotywa koluntu. Ngako oko, ukuba umntu wakho akaqondi isizathu sokuba ungonwabi, kuba imihla ngemihla ufika ngomlilo kwaye ingabonakali, ngoko kufuneka ucinge ukuba uya kukwazi ukunqanda. Ukuba akunjalo, ngaba kulungile ukuqhubeka nolwalamano?