Ukulandela isiluleko sethu sengqondo sengqondo: njani ukuba ungabangeli umsindo nomyeni, mhlawumbi, usindise intsapho yakho kule nkxwaleko. Ngaphandle kohlobo lweengqondo kunye nokubonakaliswa kobugwenxa, banokuhlulwa kwiindidi ezimbini eziphambili zokuhlelwa kokuziphatha kunye nokuqhawuka kwesiganeko: abo bahlasela ngokukhawuleza, ngaphandle kwesizathu, kunye nalabo abahlaselwa ngumsindo obangela ukuvutha umsindo, kwaye ukubonakaliswa kobundlobongela kwenzeka xa kuthiwa "indawo yokubilisa" ifinyelelwe.
Cinga uhlobo lokuqala, olunokuthi lubangelwa ukuxilongwa "kweengxaki zobuntu ezingafaniyo." Kuba amadoda abonakalise ubugwenxa, ngokungabikho isizathu esicacileyo, kukho ukuphulwa ngokucacileyo kwe-psyche. Into ebangel 'umdla kukuba ngexesha lokuvutha komsindo awanako ukwandisa uxinzelelo kunye nentliziyo. Oku kubonisa ukuba ubundlobongela buxhomekeke kwizengqondo zabo, njengesiqhelo, njengayiphi na inkqubo eqhelekileyo. Iingcebiso zengqondo yengqondo malunga nomyeni wakhe olu hlobo lwengxaki ziya kuba zimbalwa. Akukho zizathu ezicacileyo ezivusa ugonyamelo. Kodwa ukuze siyiqonde, makhe siqwalasele ukuqonda kwalolu hlobo. Amadoda anjalo aphethwe ngamandla kunye nempembelelo phezu komfazi wabo. Abaxhomekekanga kuso, njengokuba umntu, kubakho ubukho bexhoba kubalulekile, apho bangabonisa ukuphakama kwabo. Ukuba umfazi uyamshiya - ufumana esinye isisulu kwaye umzekelo wokuziphatha kwakhe uya kuphinda.
Kulo hlobo lo mngcipheko lokufumana iqela elisebuntwaneni lihluke kwi-sadism kwizilwanyana, ubusela obuncitshana, ubusela, kwaye ke buhluke kwiimeko ezingafaniyo kunye nokuziphatha okubi. Okokuqala, yintlungu yomntu. Kubantu bolu hlobo akunakwenzeka ukuba baphile, ngoko ke ukuba indoda yakho ingena ehlobo olufanayo, kungcono ukuzisindisa wena kunye nosapho lwakho. Nangona ukuba olu hlobo lusemncinci, nguye onako ukwenza ulwaphulo olunobunzima.
Olunye uhlobo oluqhelekileyo lulo "oluqhayisa" ngexesha lohlazo, kwaye ukuziphatha kwalo kungacatshukiswa kwaye kukhutshwe, kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba kuyinto evamile. Ummeli weklastiki uhlushwa phakathi kokuvalelwa ngumfazi wakhe. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, akayithandi, kodwa ngesinye isifo sengqondo sithembele kuye, njengesilwanyana. Oku kubonisa ukuba umntu uyasuswa kumntu womfazi, kwaye ngexesha elifanayo liqhotyoshelwe kwimisebenzi yakhe. Ngokungafani nohlobo lwangaphambili, akunakwenzeka ukuba le ndoda ihambe, izama ukulawula yonke into kwaye ayiyi kuvumela umfazi wakhe ukuba ahlukane, esebenzisa ubudlova, ukubetha, ukusongela ukulawula imeko. Ubukela ngokoqobo amagama kunye nesinyathelo, ulawula umfazi wakhe. Uyaqiniseka ukuba ukuba akayi kulawula phezu kwayo, ukulawula nokubonisa ubundlobongela, umfazi uya kumshiya. Ukugqitywa ngumsindo kuye, ukubetha, ngokuqinisekileyo uyahlwaya umfazi ngenxa yobuthathaka bakhe kunye nesidingo. Kwingqondo yakhe, kukho izimo zengqondo ezithatha uluntu kuye, imithunzi yakhe engcamango "yindoda yangempela". Kwakhona kulolu hlobo lubonakaliswe ngophulaphulo lwentlalo yolwazi. Unokungaqondi kakuhle amagama akho, qulunqa into engekho. Unomona kakhulu, naluphi na umdlalo wokudlala ngothando ungabonwa njengento yokunyanzela, kwaye unciphise uxhulumaniso lwakho nabanye abantu. Ngelinye igama, uyakukulawula kuyo yonke into, kwaye ukuba uyamenza ibango okanye uya kuhamba-uba ngumsindo. Iingcebiso zengqondo yengqondo yindlela engafuni ukuqhubisana ngayo nomsindo kulo mzekelo: ungabonakali inzondo, ungazami ukuthatha isikhundla esiphambili somyeni. Kubonakala ngathi kuthiwa bonke abafazi basengozini kwaye banentshutshiso, kodwa oku akunjalo ngaso sonke isikhathi, kuba bona ngokwabo bangabonisa ukwanda kobudlova, kwaye nangakumbi kunjalo amabango. Indoda ejongene nobudlova ibona ukuba isenzo sayo siyinyani, kuba yena "wagijimela" ngendlela enjalo, ngoko kulula kakhulu ukuxabana nomyeni onjalo, umfazi kufuneka alumke.
Ukuba ufuna ingcebiso yesazi sengqondo, ucinga ngokucokisekileyo malunga nokuba ungabangela njani ukulwa nomyeni wakho nendlela yokuphepha umsindo womyeni wakho, cinga ukuba uyayidinga. Ngaba kuyimfuneko ukuhlala unciphisa, ukulawula ukuziphatha kwakho ngokufanelekileyo ukuya ekusebenziseni kwaye uhlala nomyeni wakho wezandla? Cinga ngoonyana bakho, olu hlobo lomntu aluyi kuyika ukuphakamisa isandla kumntwana wakho. Khumbula ukuba "umsebenzi we-sadist nomdlwenguli" uqala xa, ebomini bomyeni, kuguquke kwenzeka, xa eqonda ukuba kwakunokwenzeka ukubetha. Musa ukuvumela ukuba oku kwenzeke, ukuba akusiyo yonke into elahlekileyo. Ukusuka ekuvutheni kokuqala, musa ukuxolela okanye ukuzisola umyeni wakho, ubhale isitatimende, uthathe izithembiso ngokubhaliweyo, ujezise, uhambe ixesha elide, wenze ihlazo, ngelizwi - makumqaphele ukuba oku akuyi kudlula kuye Oku akuninzi kakhulu, kuyimfuneko yokuba ungabi lixhoba kunye nesiphene.