Kodwa umbuzo wukuthi, akufanele simthande njengokuba kunjalo, kwaye ukuba akunjalo, kutheni sifuna ukutshintsha umntu omthandayo, kwaye yintoni le nto ingavela.
Ngoko, makhe sizame ukuqonda le ngxaki, ekuqalekeni konke into elula, sifuna ukutshintsha othandekayo, kuba into ayihambisani nathi. Kodwa oku kuphela yintsika ye-iceberg, kuba ukuba into engasifanelekanga kwintandane, ngaba ngaba uyithandwa kakhulu kuwe? Yaye lo ngumbuzo wokuqala ofuna ukuwuphendula. Kwaye kwimibuzo elandelayo, baya kukunceda uqonde izizathu zokufuna ukutshintsha umntu wakho.
Umbuzo wokuqala. Ngaba ndiyayithanda?
Njengoko kuchazwe ngasentla, ubomi bunzima, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha unokuhlangabezana nomntu obonakala efanelekileyo, kwaye yonke into ilungile, kodwa i-spark, ngesizathu esithile akukho. Okanye kukho intaka, kodwa injini ayifuni. Emva koko kufuneka ufumanise ukuba into ongayithandiyo ngomntu oyithandayo mhlawumbi inxalenye ebalulekileyo yalo, kwaye ukuba ulahlekelwa yiyo, umntu unokukwazi ukulahlekelwa yedwa kwaye akayi kuba mnandi. Ukuba uyaqonda ukuba into ongayithandayo kwisithandwa sakho yenza ukuba ibe yedwa, ngoko mhlawumbi ungayithandi, kodwa njengomfanekiso owenziwe ngcamango yakho, ngokusekelwe kwezinye iimpawu.
Umbuzo wesibini. Ngaba ngokwenene unemiphumo eninzi?
Umntu ngokusemgangathweni, kwaye indoda ngokukodwa, indalo ayilungele. Kwaye i-Ideal ngokubanzi, ngokombono wam, ayifinyeleleki. Kodwa uyayilwela, ngexesha elifanayo, kuyimfuneko. Yaye yintoni efunekayo, yintoni eya kusondela kuyo? Ukutshintsha ngokuchanekileyo kunqongophala, kodwa kule njongo kubalulekile ukuba kuqondwe, nokuba ngaba ngokwenene esikuthandayo kuninzi kakhulu. Emva koko, ngokuqinisekileyo, akusiyo yonke impazamo yayo ekufuneka ishintshwe, ininzi kubo ngokubhekiselele kwimiba into encinci, apho kunokwenzeka kwaye izama. Kodwa ukuba nayiphi na impawu zayo ziphelele ngokupheleleyo, ngoko kufuneka uzame ukutshintsha ngaphandle kokungabaza. Umthandane wakho unemiphumo emininzi. Okokuqala kufuneka uqonde ukuba ungenaye umntu
Umbuzo wesithathu. Umzamo wokutshintsha othandekayo, ongeke uguqulwe ngokwawo.
Le yindlela eyaziwayo yengqondo yokuzivikela, isoloko isetyenziswe ngamadoda nabasetyhini, ukusola impazamo yabo. Zama ukuguqula kunokuziguqula. Kule meko, kufuneka ukhangele ngokucophelela uze uzihlalutye, intanda yakho, kwaye nantoni na ukuba ungakhathali. Emva kwakho konke, mhlawumbi into ongayithandiyo ngolu hlobo luyinto engathandekiyo malunga nawe, kwaye iimpikiswano ezivela kuwe azibangelwa iimpawu zayo ezimbi, kodwa kwizinto zakho. Ukuze uhlalutye ngokwaneleyo le meko, akuyi kubakho indawo yokufuna isiluleko somntu osecaleni, kungekude kakhulu, kodwa ngelo xesha alixhasi ngokupheleleyo.
Umbuzo ezine. Musa ukudinwa into ethile ebomini bakho?
Mhlawumbi umnqweno wokutshintsha wakho umthandayo awukho ngenxa yokuba awuhlali ujabule nalo, okanye kungekhona ukuba into ayihambisani nawe. Kwaye nje ngenxa yesidingo sokutshintsha into ebomini ngokubanzi, kunokubangelwa ezininzi izinto, ukungaphumeleli emsebenzini, ukudandatheka kunye nabanye abaninzi. Ukuba emva kokungeniswa kwezinto, ufumanisa ukuba isizathu sisona. Oku kuya kuchaneka ukutshintsha, into ebomini, kunokuba utshintshe into endiyithandayo.
Imibuzo engentla apha, akunjalo, akuyiyo yonke into ofuna ukuyiphendula ukuze uqonde ukuba kutheni, ufuna ukutshintsha wakho umthandayo. Kodwa ndiyathemba ukuba baya kukunceda ekuxazululeni iingxaki zakho.