Ngombuzo othi kutheni indoda ifuna ukwazi ixesha elidlulileyo lentombi yakhe, kunjalo, awuyi kuphendula ngokukhawuleza. Ngokuxhomekeke kwisimo sengqondo esi sihloko, kunokwenzeka ukuhlula iindidi zamadoda.
- Abo banomdla okanye banomdla kwixesha elidlulileyo. Oku akubi, kodwa kubalulekile ukunyamekela ezinye iinkcukacha. Ukuba ukungabikho komdla onjalo kumntu kubangelwa intlonipho yakhe ngenkululeko yakho, ngenxa yobomi bakho obudlulileyo, oku mhlawumbi kuyona ndlela ingcono kakhulu. Indoda enjalo iqonda nje ukuba sele idibeneyo kunye nobudlelwane, kunye nesiqingatha sayo sesibini. Indoda ayenzi inhlekelele kule nto kwaye ikholelwa ukuba yintoni eyayiye, idlule, kwaye akukho nto inokumvuselela.
Nangona kunjalo, qaphela ukuba uqaphela ukuba iqabane lakho alinomdla kwixesha lakho elidlulileyo, kungekhona ngenxa yokuba uyakuhlonipha, kodwa ngenxa yokuba akayidingi nhlobo. Mhlawumbi yena kunye wakho oyinyani akayi kuba nomdla! Kwaye kunjalo, kunokwenzeka xa umntu ecinga: sidibana naye, kwaye kwenzeka ntoni ngaphandle kwezi ntla nganiso, andingabi namdla kum. Ngoko unokuyifaka le meko kwimeko yokungabikho, xa udibana nawe, unokufumana enye into okanye inkunzi ngaphezulu. Kule meko, uya kukuvumela okufanayo. Kodwa luhlobo luni lolwalamano! Le ntsingatha isasazeka kwiimvakalelo kunoma ubani ongenakuzondla, ungakhohliswa! Ngoko lumele uqaphele kwaye uzame ukuqonda oko kusemva kwesimo somntu wakho.
- Enye indlela - indoda inomdla kwixesha lakho elidlulileyo, ibuza iinkcukacha zobuhlobo bakho obudlulileyo, njl. Mhlawumbi kukho izizathu zokulumka! Emva kwakho konke, ukuqonda okunjalo kwiminqweno yokukwazi yonke into malunga nexesha lakho elidlulileyo kunokuba kuchazwe ngokulinganayo kunye nomona nje! Kwaye ukuba kunjalo, ngoko kwiimeko ezizayo ziya kuphinda ziphinda. Akulula ukuhlala nomntu onomona. Kuthatha umonde omkhulu ukuchazela rhoqo kwiipalini ezingekho isizathu sokusola kwakhe, ukuba ugxininise yonke into, njl. Cinga, ulungele ubomi obunjalo?
- Kwimeko yesithathu. Umntu uphulaphule umdla onomdla kuphela ngexesha lakho elidlulileyo, ozixelela lona. Indoda iyayiqonda yonke into ngokuzithobayo, kunye neentloni kwaye ayifumanga kwixesha elithile. Oku kuyindlela enhle. Kodwa musa ukuyiqhayisa ngamabali! Emva koko, ukuba umntu akhathalele oko wakwenza phambi kwakhe embhedeni nomnye, ukuba uphulaphule yonke into ngokuzithobayo, mhlawumbi unokuba ne-henpecked ne-rag ekulungele ukuxolela bonke (ngaba ufuna loo nto? Wena ungumntu. Oku kunye nawe ngokwakho kunokukuvumela ukuba uxhomeke, kwaye ukusuka kuwe uza kulinda ukungathandeki kunye nokunyaniseka okufanayo. Kwaye oku kuluhlu oluqhelekileyo nolwalamano oluhle, kwanokuba luvela kwimeko enhle nangakumbi! Kwaye sonke sifuna ukusondela kuye!
- Enye inketho - indoda-ingxolo. Ewe-ewe, kukho njalo! Ukuba ujamelene nale nto, andizange ndicebise ukuba ndihlale naye ebudlelwaneni obusondeleyo. Kungenzeka ukuba emva komva wakho utshela abahlobo ngokubanzi malunga nobudlelwane bakho obukhoyo kunye nobomi bakho obudlulileyo. Ezihlukeneyo zamadoda zivame ukufunyanwa kwiintandane zamantombazana amancinci. Tshekisisa ngokuthandana nomntu oyintanda. Ngaba akafuni ukuhleka ngawe nabanye (akukho mbi ngakumbi kunowesifazane!) Bathini abahlobo bakhe ngaye?
Ukuba uqinisekile ukuba inkwenkwe yakho yintlebo, hlala kude naye, ungaqali ubuhlobo obusondeleyo! Ewe, ukuba unyanisekileyo, ukuba lo luyintando yokwenene, kwaye ngaphambi kokuba umtshato kunye nobomi kunye, akude udelele. Mhlawumbi inkohliso yayingumntwana wakhe ongenomusa. Ngoku uhlala phantsi kwaye akukho nto malunga nentombi yakhe (ubuncinane, malunga naye!) Awuyi kuthetha. Ewe, ke unoyolo!
Kutheni kutheni umntu kufuneka afune ukwazi ixesha elidlulileyo lentombi yakhe? Indoda eqhelekileyo iya kugcina imilinganiselo kuyo yonke into. Uya kuphulaphula umdla ngebali lakho, kodwa wenqaba ukwazi iinkcukacha. Akayi kukhwela emphefumlweni wakho aze abe nomona nangaphandle. Kodwa kuya kufuneka uvume ukuba akayi kuba nomdla ekuphulaphuleni iimpumelelo zakho zangaphambili kwimphambili. Indoda eqhelekileyo kufuneka yenzakaliswe ngcamango yokuba intombi yakhe ingaba kunye nomnye. Kungenxa yoko akayi kuphulaphula iinkcukacha. Uya kukhanyela iidlulileyo zakho. Ngokuqhelekileyo umntu kufuneka azi ukuba ngoku intombi yakhe iyamthanda, ukuba yedwa kuye. Indoda enhle (kunye nabo bonke abazingeli ngokusemgangathweni!) Musa ukulungiselela ukwabelana ngesilwanyana esilindelwe ixesha elide (oko kukuthi, intombazana yabo ethandekayo). Thatha lo mzuzwana.
Kukho, ke, ezininzi izizathu ezilungileyo zokuba kutheni umntu olungileyo unomdla kwixesha elidlulileyo lentombi yakhe. Ngethuba lethu elaneleyo ngokwemilinganiselo, abanye amadoda bayesaba kakhulu amantombazana abangenalo ubudlelwane phambi kwawo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, indoda ifuna nje ukuqinisekisa ukuba ayizange iphosakele ekukhethweni kwakhe ukuba unomdla kwabanye abantu (kubandakanyeka umdla). Kule meko, elidlulileyo (kodwa lingagcini kakhulu!) Ubomi bomntu bentombazana busebenza njengobungqina bokulinganisa kwakhe kummeli wesilisa, ubuhle bakhe, umdla kunye nentlalo.
Nangona kunjalo, nanamhlanje, akubona bonke abantu abafana. Abaninzi babo, ngokuchaseneyo, bakhetha ukuba bangabalulekanga kwaye bafikeleleke kwiimeko ezinzulu, kodwa zithobekile, zibonakala ziqhelekileyo. Ngelo xesha, umfana, ngokuqinisekileyo, ukhankanya ukubonakala komntu akhethiweyo, kunye nomfanekiso wakhe, kunye nentlalo yakhe.
Ukuba ukhangele ngokuthe kratya kwintombi yakho, ngokungathandabuzekiyo, ukungaphumeleli phakathi kwakho kuya kuncipha, kwaye ubuhlobo bakho buya kuba namandla ngakumbi.