Kwenzeka ukuba ubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu ababini babonakala bengenanto, kodwa ngenxa yesizathu esithile abahluleli. Ngexesha elifanayo umfana uhlambalaza aze ahlazise intombazana, akamvumeli ukuba aphile ngokuthula, azibonele yena, njalo njalo, kodwa akafuni ukumvumela ukuba ahambe, kodwa usenokuthetha ngothando. Kutheni le nto yenzeka kwaye yintoni ephosakeleyo ngala madoda?
Teddy Bear Syndrome
Ezinye izazi zengqondo zibiza ngokuziphatha kwe "teddy bear" syndrome. Yiyiphi inqaku? Indoda engazange idibene nayo, ithelekiswa nentetho yakhe yokudlala. Okokuthi, xa sasisemncinci, okwangoku unomhlobo wakhe oyinyaniso, inendima yakhe edlalwa ngumdlalo wakhe oyintandokazi. Lo mhlobo wayehlala esenza oko sasifuna kwaye watsho oko sikuthandayo. Wasixhasa kwaye akazange akhuphe. Ukususela kumhlobo onjalo, akukho mntu wayelindele ukuba kukho nayiphi na into emangalisa. Enyanisweni, wayeyindoda yethu ephuphayo, kodwa ebuntwaneni asizange sibone.
Abantwana banamhlanje bakhula kwaye abaninzi baqonda ukuba abahlobo abanakufana neebhere le-teddy. Bayakwazi ukuphikisa, ukuvakalisa uluvo lwabo, ukukhubeka, ukungenzi njengoko sifuna. Nangona kunjalo, abanye abantu abazange bafune ukunyamezela oku kwaye bavale amehlo abo kwimeko. Baqinisekisile bona "i-teddy bear" ikhona, kuyimfuneko nje ukuyifumana. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, umntu onjalo uya kuthandana nomntu aze aphinde abuye. Emva koko uqala ukwenza kumntu othandekayo "ibhere le-teddy". Nangona, eneneni, umcinga onjalo akayithandi mntu kodwa "ibhere" yakhe. Ngokulula, ufumanisa ngenye indlela iimpawu ezifanelekileyo ngokuphuhliswa "komlingiswa" wakhe kwaye uqala ukuxhomekeka kuye iqabane elifanelekileyo ebomini.
Kule meko, amadoda angayiqondi ngokupheleleyo indlela eyoyikisayo kunye nokuphanga. Inyaniso kukuba bahlala kwihlabathi elikhohlisayo, apho umthandayo kufuneka enze oko akufunayo. Ngokomzekelo, "ibhere le-teddy" kufuneka lihlale lilindele umntu omthandayo emsebenzini kwaye lidibane naye uvuyo kwaye uyonwabile, akanalo ilungelo lokubuza le mibuzo engayithandi loo mfana. "I-Teddy bear" akufanele ibe nomdla kuyo nayiphi na into, ngaphandle kweyodwa kunye neyodwa, ehlala kuyo. I-"teddy bear" akufanele ibe neengxaki kunye neengxaki. Unyanzelekile ukudala uvuyo nokuthuthuzela. Iinjongo ezinjalo azikho ngokupheleleyo. Nangona kunjalo, umcingi akafuni ukuvuma oku. Uloyika nje ukushiya ihlabathi lakhe, apho "ibhere le-teddy" lizalisekisa zonke izinto zakhe, kuba ngokwenene kukho izinto ezininzi ezingenakukuthanda. Izinto ezinjalo zibuthathaka kunye nabantu abaziwayo. Ngoko kuvela ukuba umntu onjalo uyahlazisa kwaye aqalekise intombazana yakhe. Engqondweni yakhe, ingcamango yendlela "i-teddy bear" okufanele iziphatha ngayo ixhomekeke kakhulu ukuba nayiphi na isenzo sayo esingaphantsi kwemigangatho ibonakala iyisilungiso esibi nakungalunganga.
Ukuba ucela umntu onjalo ukuba kutheni wamkhwaza ngentombi yakhe, uhlala ephendula: "Wayephosakele, kwafuneka ndimbonise indlela yokwenza okulungileyo." Kule meko, kwanokwazi ukuba umntu uyagula kwaye ayibi, uya kuhlala eqhuba ngendlela efanayo nangaphambili, ngenxa yokuba ukholelwa ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba amava afana nawo aya kwintombi yakhe yentliziyo kwaye akayi kuphinda enze iimpazamo. Kwaye ukuba "ibhere le-teddy" ngesizathu esithile siphoswe kakubi, ngoko kufuneka senze ngokukhawuleza ukuziphatha okufanelekileyo. Ngelishwa, uninzi lwabaqambi babe yizidalwa zangempela. Bayesaba kakhulu ukuba abantu abayi kuze baphile ngemithetho yabo, ukuba baqale ukusebenzisa iindlela ezinamandla, nje ukuba bagcine "i-teddy bear" kunye nabo baze bamthinte ekubeni enze ngokuvisisana nengcamango yakhe kunye nezifiso zakhe. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, indoda inokubetha intombazana, kwaye emva koko ithi: "Undithumele kule nto ngaphambili, kutheni usebenza ngokuchasene neminqweno yam!". Qaphela, aba bantu bahlala bezenza amaxhoba. Bakholelwa ukuba benza into efanelekileyo, kodwa "ibhere le-teddy" lilahlekelwe ngokupheleleyo kwaye lihlawuliswa ngokuziphatha okunjalo. Ngokuqhelekileyo uvela kwindoda enjalo uyayiva: "Andiphakamisi isandla samanye amantombazana, ndibetha nje. Ngoko, nguwe ophikisayo kwaye uzihlaziye, kwaye ndikufundisa nje indlela yokwenza okulungileyo, kodwa awufuni ukuphulaphula. " Kodwa nangona intombazana iphulaphule, lo mfana uya kufumana isizathu sokunamathela kwinto ethile. Ukuba "i-teddy" ngakumbi izama ukufanisa okufanelekileyo, ixesha elide uluhlu lweempawu ezibonakalayo ziba. Ngako oko, ekuzalisekeni kwesinye isithwathwa somqambi, "umama okhuni" unetyala kwiimpawu ezintathu okanye ezine. Kwaye oko kuya kuqhubeka ngonaphakade. Ngokuzimela umvelisi akayi kukhawuleza. Uya kuhlala ecinga ngento ethile. I-"teddy bear" ekugqibeleni ilahlekelwa yedwa, iya kuba nexinzelelo kunye nokuphazamiseka kwemihlaba. Ngenxa yoko, xa umveleli edidekile, wathi: "Awufani nokokuqala. Uphangiwe. Kodwa ndizama ukukunceda, awuyiphulaphuli nhlobo. " Nobuqhetseba buya kuqhubeka.
Yintoni enokuyenza ngayo "ibhere le-teddy"?
Ukuba unendima ye "teddy bear", yindlela kuphela yokuphuma ukuba uyingxenye nomntu onjalo. Enyanisweni, kunokuthunyelwa kwisazi senzululwazi esiza kusebenza kwiinkathazo kunye neengxaki, ukuze umntu aqaphele ukuba yintoni imeko eyenzekayo kunye nendlela aphatha ngayo intanda yakhe. Kodwa ingxaki kukuba ipesenti encinci yamadoda enendawo yokugcina impahla iya kuvuma ukuncedwa kwesazi sengqondo, kwaye ngakumbi ngakumbi ukuba benza into engalunganga. Ngako oko, kunokwenzeka ukuba ufanele uyingxenye nomqambi, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kubi kangakanani. Khumbula ukuba awukwazi ukuba yinto efanelekileyo "ibhere ye-teddy". Amantombazana amaninzi ayazithemba ngamathemba aze acinge ukuba kulungile ukwenza enye i-whim kwaye umntu uyayeka ukuziphatha ngale ndlela. Ngelishwa, umqambi ngokwakhe akakwazi ukutshintsha. Ngako oko, uya kuhlala ephazamisa "i-teddy bear". Ngoko ukuba ufuna ukuphila ubomi obuqhelekileyo, kufuneka uhambe ngokukhawuleza lo mfana kwaye uhlale kude naye. Ngaphandle koko, kuya kufuneka ukhuthazelele ukuhlambalaza kunye nokuthotywa ngenxa yobomi bakho bonke.