Namhlanje sidibana nabantu abathandana ngamaxesha ambalwa, kunye nalabo abathandanga nhlobo. Yintoni ongayithetha ngabantu abanjalo? Ngaba ezi ziimpawu zomdlali okanye umnqweno womntu? Ngaba kukho nawuphi na umlinganiselo wokuzikhethela ukuthanda ngamnye wethu? Inyaniso kukuba umyalelo othileko wothando uthi sonke sinokuthanda kwaye sisoloko sifuna iqabane.
Kwimbono yoluntu ibangela ukuba uthando sisipho, inhlanhla, ithuba lucky. Emva koko, akukho zikolo okanye iziko lothando, kodwa wonke umntu ubonakala ethanda. Akunjalo. Uthando lubugcisa, isakhono esifanele sifunde, esifanele sifunde. Awukwazi ukuthetha ngothando njengento okanye njengento ethile, kuba le ntliziyo yinkqubo. Kwaye unenhlanhla isiphumo sale nkqubo iya kuba, kuxhomekeke kubathathi-nxaxheba bayo. Akubona wonke umntu onokuthanda, kodwa wonke umntu ufuna kwaye uzama ukumthanda. Kule ndawo ininzi kakhulu kunokuba sinokuyicinga. Uthando lukwazi ukuvakalelwa omnye umntu, ukumenza ube nolonwabo, ukuba yinxalenye yakhe, ukuba abelane naye ngobomi bakhe. Akuyinto elula njengoko kubonakala ngathi, nokuba nomvakalelo wothando ungadukisa, uzive "uthando" - luhlobo lobugcisa sele lukhona.
U-Erich Fromm wabhala ngothando njengobugcisa emsebenzini wakhe "Ubugcisa Bothando." Kwakhona kwesi sihloko kukho ezininzi iincwadi kunye nemisebenzi. Ukongeza kwimisebenzi yenzululwazi kunye neentetho zeengqondo ze-psychologists, sinokuyibona inzala ekuthandeni abantu abahlukahlukeneyo bexesha kwaye sijonge iifom kunye neminqweno yothando lwabo. Ngokomzekelo, thelekisa uthando "uhlobo lwamaGrisi" noluthando "lobuKristu". Ezi zihlandlo zexesha, iimpawu ezahlukeneyo zothando. Eyokuqala uluthando lomntu ophakamileyo onesimo, uthando lomntu omhle, onguhle kakhulu, onobulumko ngaphezu kwakho. Olu mtsalane lomntu luphantsi kwisimo somntu ongcono kunabo, ofanelwe ukuthandwa. Olu hlobo lothando lobugqila luyimiba ye-masochism. Uthando olunjalo lufakwe kwiimbali kunye neencwadi zaseGrisi zasendulo, kodwa kusekhona nanamhlanje, njengolu hlobo oluthile, impahla, isigaba esithile. Uhlobo lothando lobuKristu uluthando lommelwane womntu, uthando kumntu ophantsi kwimeko, obuthakathaka ngakumbi, unobubele kubabuthathaka, abagulayo. Uhlobo lwesibini luthando-uthando alukho wonke umntu, kuba oku kufuneka ube yomoya oqinileyo kwaye ulungele uthando olunjalo. Namhlanje siyakwazi ukufunda ezi zimbini zeentlobo kwaye sizibuze: yiyiphi yalezi zigaba "ezichanekileyo"? Ingaba lo lulungelelwano luthando, iinkcukacha kunye nesimboli yale nkqubo, kwaye akukhona ukunyaniseka kwezinto ezininzi ezazisifundisa ubugcisa?
Uthando kunye "neefom-form" zalo
Sivame ukutsho ukuba uthando kunye nokuthandana yizinto ezahlukeneyo. Ku kwenene. Uthando luyafana nokuqala kothando, isigaba sawo sokuqala, esiya kukhula lube yintando yonyani, kunye nesigaba? ezingenakho ukuqhubeka. Kodwa ngaphandle kweengxabano zothando nothando, ku funeka kuqatshelwe ukuba akusiyo yonke imizamo yokuthanda ukuphela kwimpumelelo, kwaye akusoloko siyamkela ngenxa yothando.
Iingcali ezahlukeneyo zeengqondo emhlabeni jikelele, iingqungquthela kunye neemvumi, kwaye kwanomntu ngamnye ubuncinane wayecinga ngokuthandana nothando lokwenene, yiziphi iipropati, indlela yokuyiqonda kunye nento ebonisa ngayo. Ingqungquthela yonke into yokuba namhlanje iingqondo ze-psychologists zithetha ngokuthe ngqo oko akuyithandi, kwaye thina siziva ngathi. Kukho iindidi ezininzi zothando, ukufana kwazo, kwaye sihlala sithetha ngokuchanekileyo ukuba oku akuyona indlela yokwenene yothando, lo mntu apha uphosakele. Kodwa ngelo xesha, asikwazi ukuchaneka ngokuchanekileyo kuthi: yintoni uthando, yichaze. Kodwa thina, kodwa siyazi "indlela yokwenza oko akunakwenzeka" kwaye oku sele kulungile.
Siyaqonda ukuba ngothando akukho ndawo yokuzingca. Ngamnye wobugovu nothando ungabonwa ngombono wobuqu abathile, njengokufumana oko ufuna, ukudibana neemfuno zakho ... Kodwa kwanokuba ufunde ukuthanda kufuneka ufunde indlela yokwenza izinto. Udinga ukwabelana nomnye umntu, ukubeka iimfuno zakhe ngaphezu kwazo, ngamanye amaxesha ukuya kwixhoba, inkxaso kunye nokuqonda umntu omthandayo, cinga ngovuyo kunye neemfuno zakhe. Kwaye oku kuya kukuvuyisa. Enyanisweni, akulula ukuba ufunde, akunjalo nje, akunjalo nje: xa ufuna ukuthula buthule, kodwa ufuna ukuthetha ngokukhawuleza okanye ukuphosa iimvakalelo ezimbi. Kubalulekile ukufumana ukunyaniseka, ucinge ngombono womnye umntu kunye nomnqweno kwimiba nganye. Ukuba kwisibini wonke umntu ucinga nje kuphela kwaye uyanelisa iimfuno zabo kuphela, ngaphandle kokucinga ngomnye, ngoko kunokuba kufane ne-symbiosis, inkontileka kunokuthanda.
Ngothando akukho ndawo yokuzingca, ukunyaniseka, ubudlova, ukubandezeleka.
Ngothando kufuneka kubekho indawo yokunyamezela kunye nomonde. Iimbini eziguqukayo, zize zidibanise, azihambisani kakuhle. Le yindlela emfutshane, kunokuthanda. Ngothando, zonke iimpawu zomntu othandekayo zanelisayo - nokuba iimpazamo azibonakali zinzima kakhulu, ngoko unokuzidibanisa nabo. Yaye impawu ezintle zixabiswa ngokukodwa, ziqwalaselwe. Ngothando, isiqingatha sesibini siyaziqhayisa, siyahlonishwa, size sizive siyingxenye yonke.
Uthando kwindlela yawo yokwenene ayinakunqweneleka. Uthando lokwenene luqhelekile, luyinyani, ludibene. Ayiniki ukubandezeleka, ukutya, inkxaso, ubunzima. Uthando lokwenene luyindlela ephakathi kwamabini abantu. Uthando olulodwa lwalo lunye lunomdla, unomtsalane, uthando, umkhwenkwe kunokuba uzive ngokwenene. Olu hlobo "luthando" aluzuzisi ukwaneliseka okanye uxolo. Kodwa ezi zizona zivakalelo ezinamandla kakhulu. Uthando olungenakunqwenelekayo lusoloko lusishukumisela kwizenzo zobuqhawe, lusenza ukuba sibhale izinkondlo kunye ne-ballads. Kodwa ke akanalo amandla anjalo njengothando lwangempela. Iyesibini inegunya elininzi kuthi.
Indlela yokufunda ukuthanda
Kodwa kunjalo: unokufunda ukuthanda? Uthando lubonakala luyinkimbinkimbi, lungaqondakali, lungaqondakali kwaye luyindawo enzima. Ngaba unokufunda ukuziva omnye umntu, uyayiqonda? Ewe. Kuphela ngumnqweno, ixesha, umsebenzi kunye namava, amandla okunqoba ukuzingca nokuqonda imeko yoluvo. Simele sihlale silumkile, zama umthandayo, ufunde umlingani wakhe kwaye ufunde ukuqonda kuphela izenzo zabo, kodwa nakwabanye. Ngamnye wethu unethuba elihle lokufunda oku.