Yintoni inokutshatyalaliswa ngumtshato emva kokuhlala ixesha elide kunye kunye?

Ubomi obatshatileyo bubunzima kwaye bunzima "obunokutshatyalaliswa ngexesha elide, kwaye ngakumbi nakakhulu, lunokudiliza, oko kukuthi, kukhokelela isibini esivumelwaneni somtshato. Andiyi kuthetha ngezizathu zokuqhawula umtshato, kodwa yintoni ebangela umtshato, oko kunokukhokelela ekuqhawuleni umtshato emva kokuhlala ubomi obude kunye nomdla kubo bobabini nabasetyhini.

Amadoda :

1. Ininzi lamadoda ayinakufumana ubuninzi ngenxa yokuqhawula umtshato, kuba bephupha ukuba baphinde bakhululeke kwaye bazinyamekele uxanduva lweentsapho kunye nabantwana. Ukongeza, babefuna ukudibana nomfazi omncinci, oncinci ongenakukhathazeka ngokukhawuleza njengowomfazi, kwaye la madoda ayaziqonda iingcamango zabo namaphupha ngokuchanekileyo naye. Bakholelwa ukuba ubomi bentsapho buphazamisa ukuphunyezwa kweengcamango. Iminyaka emibini "ngokubanzi" ibakhokelela kwingcamango yokuba intsapho ibhetele, ngoko ke kwiminyaka emibili yokuqala, la madoda aphinde ashade (amanye, okwenyaniso, kubafazi bawo bexesha langaphambili), kodwa ngaphezu kweminyaka baqala ukuqonda ukuba umfazi wokuqala Kwakungcono kuneyesibini, nangona abazisola ngokuqhawula umtshato.

2. Yintoni ekhokelela ekuqhawuleni umtshato emva kokuhlala ixesha elide lomnye umntu, incinci, uluhlu lwamadoda? Bayakufumana inkululeko, batshintsha iqabane labo, abayatshati ixesha elide, ngelixa bengaboni ukuba balahlekelwa yiminyaka ebhetele yobomi babo, kwaye ngo-50 ubudala baziva benqwenela ubomi bentsapho kubo, kwaye ukhetho lomlingane sele luselula, kwaye yena ngokwakhe ulahlekelwe "yimpahla imbono ". Eli nqanaba lamadoda, ukuba kukho ubutyebi bezinto eziphathekayo, ufumana umfazi osemtsha ngenxa yomona onomona nomfazi owayengumfazi. Kodwa le "dayimane yolutsha, ubuhle kunye nokutshatyalaliswa kufuna i-cut cut, oko kukuthi, imali eninzi, ayiyiyo intsapho eqinileyo, iya kubangela ukufana kwayo kubahlobo kunye nabaziwayo, kunye noyiko olungunaphakade lokungcatsha. Kwaye abo bantu abangenazo izinto eziphathekayo banelisekile ngenxa yokuba baphambuke ngenxa yokuba baxhatshazwa ngokwezesondo kumaqabane angamaqabane abafuna iindleko zengqondo, ezempilo, ezengqondo nezondo (xa kuthelekiswa nabafazi babo); Ithemba lokuba "ubomi bakhululekile" bekulungile, kwaye kwimeko yobunzima kwakungekho nkxaso, kuba indoda yintlekele, ngoko le ndoda iyaqonda ukuba umtshato wokuqala wawungcono kuneyesibini.

3. Kukho uluhlu lwesithathu lwabantu abaqhawula umtshato abakhokelela ekudakaleni okukhulu, izinto ezihambelanayo zizinto ezidakisayo, ukuxhalabisa, ukudideka, ukulahlekelwa ngumdla kumsebenzi kunye nobomi ngokubanzi. Uxanduva lweentsapho zakudala, ababenqabayo, lukhula luba ngumthwalo kubo, kwaye akuyena wonke umntu onokujamelana nalo. Kule meko, isifo sengqondo singakwazi ukwenza ngaphandle. Ubomi bentsapho kulolu hlobo lwamadoda luya kuba luqithi oluvuyayo apho afuna ukubuyela khona, kodwa ngokuphindaphindiwe kakhulu, ngoko ke izibalo ezingenakucingelwayo zichonga iminyaka yobudala beminyaka engama-58 (nangona izizathu zokufa kwasekuqaleni zizinto ezahlukeneyo, kodwa enye yazo, Kakade, umtshato).

Bafazi:

1. Ukwahlukana kwenani labasetyhini lubuhlungu obuhamba kunye nokudakumba okukhulu. Ingcamango yokuba "kutheni ngoku uhlala", ngokuqhelekileyo ukukhokela ibhinqa kwisigqibo sokumisa ubomi obungenanto, abaninzi babo baya esibhedlele esibhedlele, oku kukuhle, emva koko bakuqonda ukuba ubomi buqhubeka, kufuneka sikhulise abantwana okanye siqale ukwakha intsapho entsha.

2. Emva kokuqhawula umtshato, loo mfazi akayi kuphinda ahlale ehlazileyo kwaye ezolile, nangona enomtshato wesibini, kuba kusekho ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa yile ndoda, okanye ukwesaba ulwalamano lomntwana wesibini kunye nomntwana wakhe kumtshato wokuqala. Ngelishwa, umtshato wesibini kumfazi awuhlali uphezulu kuneyona yokuqala, nangona kukho ukungabikho.

Ubomi bentsapho obude, ngexesha apho abantu babizwa ngokuthi "bakhulisiwe" komnye nomnye ngokwengqondo nangokwezinto eziphilayo: banemihlali kunye neengxaki eziqhelekileyo, abahlobo kunye nezihlobo eziqhelekileyo, ngokuqinisekileyo, abantwana - ngokukhawuleza baqhawule umtshato. Ubunzulu beliphulo lukhulu kakhulu (ikakhulukazi kwabasetyhini), ukuba nangona uncedo lwabagqirha beengqondo ze-psychotherapists kunzima ukuphulukisa, kwaye ngoko "izikrakra" ziya kuhlala ziphele ukuphela komphefumlo emphefumlweni womntu ongafuni ukuqhawula umtshato.