Ubomi bephepha elitsha.
Ngethuba lethu, loo mbono njengomama ongenamzali uthathwa njengento eqhelekileyo. Njengomthetho, kunqabile kakhulu, emva kokuqhawula umtshato umntwana uhlala noyise. Kwaye, ngokuqhelekileyo, emva kokuqhekeka kobudlelwane, amadoda "adiliza ngexesha elidlulileyo" kwaye, ngokungaqhelekanga, ukuyeka ubudlelwane nomfazi wakhe, umntu unokumkhohlwa ngomntwana wakhe, oye wakwazi ukukhula. Izizathu zokwahlukana okunjalo zininzi, kwaye umphumo, njengokuba njalo, unye-umfazi wedwa uvelisa umntwana, ezama ukuba ngowakhe nonina, noyise, kunye nomhlobo omhle. Kodwa ngolunye usuku udibana nomnye umntu. Lo mntu uzimisele ukuba naye kunye nokufundisa umntwana wakhe njengonyana wakhe. Kodwa kulo mzuzwana nje, inani labasetyhini lijongene nengxaki yokuba yindodana, ukuba unina unomnye umntu kunye nendlela yokutshintshela umntwana ilungu elitsha lentsapho, okuthi ngumntu ozama ukuzama inxaxheba yesoba omtsha. Ukuzihlaziya ngokwale ngxaki, oomama abaninzi banokulungela ukunyaniseka baze babe yedwa ngenxa yokuzola komntwana wabo. Kodwa kukho namantombazana anjalo, nangona kunganeliseki komntwana, bazama, kwinto engekaze kwenzeke, ukulungiselela ubomi babo. Kodwa, ngelishwa, oku kuzisa inani elikhulu leengxaki kunye neengxabano kwintsapho. Kakade ke, ukunikela ngale meko ingcebiso kumntu wonke, unina kunye noyise ongobubele akunakwenzeka. Kodwa zama ukuphendula imibuzo ejongene nentsapho apho umntu omtsha ubonakala khona, siya kuzama.
Ngaba "umalume" okanye "ubaba"?
Lo mbuzo, ngokukrakra, yinto enomdla kakhulu kwinkwenkwe. Enyanisweni, unyana unokubiza umntu ngegama, kodwa kwinkcubeko yethu yinto eqhelekileyo ukubiza umnxeba wakhe "uyise", ngale ndlela, ibonisa inhlonipho ngaye kwaye uyayibona indima yakhe kwintsapho. Kodwa, ungatsho, kodwa kwimeko enjalo umntwana ulungele ukuzimisela ukuba kungcono ukuthini umnxeba wakhe. Yingakho akudingeki ucinezele unyoko kwindodana yakho, ngaphandle koko, inkwenkwe iya kuqonda indoda engcono kunowesifazane, nokuba unina. Emva kokuziqonda kwakhe ukubaluleka kwalo mntu, unyana uya kukwazi ukumthi "ubaba". Ngendlela, ukuba umntwana unyanzelekile ukuba abize enye indoda uyise, ukudideka okukhulu kunokwenzeka kwintloko yakhe. Emva koko, ukuba le ndoda nguyise, ngubani na loo mntu wayeyisebenzisa igama eli. Ngaphezu koko, yonke into imele ithandwa nguyise, kunye nonina. Kwaye oko kuthetha ukuba ukuba umama wafumana omnye utata, "ubaba osekhulile" kufuneka ahlale esithandweni? Kwaye mhlawumbi bobawo bafuna ukuthanda ngendlela efanayo? Yonke le mibuzo ihluthisa umntwana kwaye ungamvumeli ukuba athathe isigqibo. Yingakho ixesha kunye nomonde kuphela kunokubangela ukuba umntakwabo athembele kwaye amthande ngoyise wakhe wesibini, kwaye akufanelekile ukuba ungabi nxamnye nale nto kungena kumama.
Yintoni okuyimfuneko ukuqala?
Kuhlala kulungele ukukhumbula ukuba kuyimfuneko ukwakha ubudlelwane kunye noyise wesibini ngaphambi kokuqala ukuhlala nonina phantsi kophahla olulodwa. Isigaba samalungiselelo sinokukunceda lula umntwana ukuba afundise umntu omtsha ebomini nonina aze azive ukhuseleko lo mmandla. Ukwenza oku, unyana kufuneka abone le ndoda rhoqo kangangoko kunokwenzeka, ukuthetha naye, kwaye uzame ukufumana umdla ofanayo. Kodwa ungazami ngosuku lokuqala ukufuna iimfuno ezifanayo, kuba unokwazi kuphela umntu ngexesha. Yaye umama ngokwakhe akadingeki ukuba achukumise unyana wakhe ukuba athethe nomhlobo wakhe. Konke kufanele kwenzeke ngokukhululekile nakwi-friendly atmosphere. Sifanele sivumele ukuba bahlale besondele. Ngendlela, iziganeko eziqhubekayo kunye nazo zonke ezikunye nazo ziyakunceda ukuhlanganisa ubungqina. Kule nqanaba, imizuzu eyi-10 yanele ukuba umntwana abe yedwa kunye noyise ozayo.
Ukungqinelana.
Iinyanga zokuqala zobomi, emva kokuba ubaba omtsha avela kwintsapho, kubonwa njengona kunzima kakhulu, kokubili kumpapa osandul 'ukwenziwa kunye nonyana wakhe. Emva koko, le ndoda ayiqhelekanga kuphela kumntwana, kodwa nayo ibhinqa ngokwayo. Kodwa, nangona kunjalo, kuyimfuneko ukuba ingqalelo kuphela kwindoda, kodwa nakunyana ngokulinganayo, ukuze umntwana angabi nomona wesikhwele. Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuba umntwana abe nomuzwa wokuthi uyathandwa kwaye uyakwazisa, engakhangeli nantoni na, kwaye kungekhona nje ngoomama wakhe, kodwa kunye neqabane elingazange lide lilufumane. Kubalulekile ukuphawula kunye nelokuba abantwana basebenzisa "uotsha omtsha" ngokukhawuleza kunabantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka engama-3, kungakhathaliseki ukuba isondo somntwana. Abafundi abasebancinaneni kunye nabantwana abaselula banokutshintsha ngokukhawuleza utshintsho ekubunjweni kwentsapho - sele sele benamava omntwana kunye nokuqonda indlela ulwalamano olwakhiwa ngayo phakathi kwabantu. Kodwa kwimeko yokugqibela, uyise wesitabane akufanele nje enze ukuba umntwana abe novelwano kunye nentlonipho, kodwa naye makangomdla. Kakade, inzuzo enkulu kukuba kulula kakhulu ukuphumelela ukuthembela kwinqanaba elingaphezu kwamabhinqa. Kunzima kakhulu kubafana abaneminyaka eli-10. Kulo nyaka ukuba abantwana bangene kwisigaba esithile sophuhliso ngenjongo yobunini. Le nkwenkwe inokungena kwimpikiswano ngenxa yomzabalazo wokunakwa ngunina. Ngoko ke, ukuba ndifumene ukuba umama ufumene enye indoda, le nkwenkwe iyakhathazeka kwaye ihlale isondele kuye. Kwimeko enjalo, kubalulekile ukubonisa ubungqina bakhe bokungalunganga nokuyenza kwifomu efikeleleke kakhulu kwaye engenakuphikisana. Ngendlela, u-stepfather kule meko, akuyimfuneko ukubonisa isikhundla sakho sokugunyaza, izenzo ezichanekileyo kunye namagama - oku kuya kukunceda ukuqhagamshelana nomntwana.
Iingcebiso ezimbalwa eziza kucacisa indlela yokuba ngunyana kule meko:
1. Umntwana kufuneka aqonde ukuba ubuhlobo obusondeleyo kunye noyise wakhe wesibini akawunikeli uthando kumntu ongekhoyo kunye noyise.
2. Unyana kufuneka aqonde ukuba umama kunye naye umhlobo ofunekayo onokuthetha naye ngokulinganayo. Kwaye lo mhlobo ufumene ebusweni bomnye umntu (uyise wesibini).
3. Musa ukukhawuleza iziganeko. Kubalulekile ukufumana iimpawu ezintle kubantwana abatsha, kwaye akuzona ezimbi. Emva koko, kuwo wonke umntu kukho into ebalulekileyo into ebalulekileyo kukuqwalasela.
4. Zonke iingxaki kufuneka zixazululwe ngoxubusho, kwaye ungabi nomsindo noyise oyise ngenxa yemithetho yakhe emitsha.
5. Okokugqibela, utata ongumntwana unzima kunjengomntwana ngokwakhe, ngoko unyana kufuneka aqonde oku kwaye angabi ngumqobo. IHarmony ayifuni ngokukhawuleza. Ukwenza oku, kufuneka nje wenze iminqweno kunye nemizamo. Kule meko kuya kuba noxolo kunye nokuqonda phakathi kwentsapho!