Indlela yokuyiqonda, ngaba kusekho ithuba lokugcina ubudlelwane? Okanye isisombululo esona sisisombululo - kodwa ukuba sihlukane? Ukuba abantu bahlala ndawonye ixesha elide, le mibuzo ayibuhlungu ayikho nto. Masizame ukufumana impendulo kubo.
Njengemiboniso yokubonisa, ngamanye amaxesha asetyenziswa kwiimeko ezinjalo, indlela yokuqonda ubudlelwane bakho - thabatha iphepha, ulidwebe kwisiqingatha kwaye ubhale ngakwesinye icala konke okulungileyo, nakwezinye - zonke izinto ezimbi, kwaye emva koko ukuba ubone oko kuza kuphuma-akuncedi, kuba imemori yethu ikhetha ezo mpikiswano ezixhomekeke ngumbono wemeko wokukhungatheka, umsindo, ukuphindezela okanye ukudabuka.
Kusebenza ngakumbi ukuhlalutya ulwalamano lwakho ngoncedo lweendlela ezikhethiweyo ezikhethwe ngabangcali bezengqondo kunye neengqondo ze-psychotherapists. Ukuba ininzi yeendlela ezingaphantsi kobudlelwane buphukile, ngoko unokucinga ngokucatshulwa.
1. Ukuhlala kungekhona ngenxa yakhe
Ukuzimisela okwaneleyo "ukuphila ubomi bomlingane." Umlinganiselo wokulungela okunjalo isimo sengqondo ngobude obude, obuzinzile. Ukuba, ngokuchasene noko, iqabane lihlala lithetha ngokuhlukana, kuthatha izigqibo ezibalulekileyo ezichaphazela ikusasa lakhe kunye (umzekelo, ukuguqula umsebenzi), ukuba akayi kuqwalasela iminqweno yomlingane, ngoko umntu onjalo akanakulungele ukubandakanya ebomini bakhe kunye naye ngokwakhe ukuba afakwe ebomini bakhe.
2. Musa ukugcina ezi zithembiso
Omnye umqathango wokulungela "ukuba ube kunye neqabane" uzalisekisa izithembiso ezenziwe - zombini ezinkulu kunye ezincinci.
3. Gqiba ukungadibana naye
Ngamanye amaxesha umntu akaqapheli ukuba ulungiselela ukutshabalalisa ubudlelwane kunye nomlingane. Oku kungabonakaliswa zizigqibo ezenziwe kunye nezicwangciso apho iqabane linganikezelwa khona. Ngokomzekelo, elinye lamalingani lithetha ngentetho yokutshintsha imisebenzi, idlulela kwelinye idolophu, ilungiselela uhambo ngaphandle kokuzinikezela iqabane lakhe kule nto. Konke oku kunokuba ngumqondiso wokuthi elinye iqabane liye lingazilungelelanise ukuhlukana.
4. Musa ukuhlonipha
Ukungabi nhlonipho kunokubonakalisa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Ngokomzekelo, kukho abantu abakholelwa ukuba iqabane lifuna ukuphakanyiswa kuqala, ngokulungisa oko abazali bakhe abazange bakwenze. Bahlala bekhupha kwaye balungisa umlingane ("musa ukuthetha kakhulu kwifowuni"), wenze izigqibo kuye ("Ndikubhalile kwicandelo ngenxa yokuba unamafutha amaninzi"), imisela kuye ingcamango yakhe yolonwabo kwaye imxhomekeke kwizenzo ezifanelekileyo ( "kufuneka ufunde izifundo ze-psychotherapy"). Abanye abantu babonisa umlingane wabo ukuba abahloniphi ubuchule bakhe bokuqonda ("awuyi kuqonda oku"), ungathandabuzeki ubuchule bakhe ("makhe ndenze oko ngokwam, uyenze ngokukhawuleza"), ungamhloneli umlingane wakho " unokuphulaphula lolu hlobo lomculo ").
5. Yehla intlonipho
Ngokungafani nombandela owedlule, isimo sengqondo sokuhlonipha kuqala iqabane lingashintsha ngexesha. Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuhlonipha umntu ohlala etywala kwaye engazi into akwenzayo? Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuhlonipha indoda engakwazi ukulawula iimpembelelo zakhe? Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba imhlonele umntu othoba izandla zakhe ngxaki encinci, ukuphelelwa ngumsindo ngenxa yezinto ezincinane? Kunzima ukuhlonipha umntu omncinci, ongenqabile ukuthatha uxanduva lokuphila kwakhe. Inhlonipho elahlekileyo yintsebenziswano ayilula ukuyivuselela, kwaye ngaphandle kokuhlonipha, kunzima ukwakha ubudlelwane.
6. Ulwalamano luyasuswa kwimvelaphi
Ukuba ulwalamano alufakwa kwindawo yokuqala, xa umsebenzi, abantwana, abazali, imbopheleleko kwabanye abantu kubaluleke ngaphezu kweminqweno kunye neemfuno zeqabane-kwaye akukho mfuneko yokuthetha ngokunyaniseka phakathi kwamalingani.
7. Ukuvakalelwa kokungaqiniseki kunye nokuntuleka kwenkululeko
Ngaba uziva ukhululekile kwaye uyathembela lakho iqabane? Ngaba unokubonisa uluvo lwakho ngaphandle kokwesaba ukuba uya kukulinganisa emva kwalo mhlaba? Ngaba unokubonisa ukucaphuka kwakho ngaphandle kokwesaba ukuphendula kwakhe? Ngaba unako ukuya kwiqela, udibana nabahlobo, usebenzise isenzo sakho sokuzilibazisa? Ukuba iqabane ligubungela, liyakhubeka, licaphuke, livutha, akukho nto inokuqiniseka kunye nenkululeko ebuhlotsheni bakho.
8. Iintlukwano ezibalulekileyo kwindawo yokuphila
Ukuba elinye iqabane likhaya, kwaye omnye uthanda ukuchitha ixesha kwinkampani enomsindo, ngoko ngenxa yoko, kunokubakho ukungquzulana nokuxabana. Kodwa oku akuyikhokelela ekutshatyalalisweni kobudlelwane. Kukho rhoqo ukulungelelanisa. Enye into yokuba amaqabane aneendawo ezahlukileyo zokuphila. Umzekelo, ukuba elinye iqabane lifuna ukuba nezingane kwaye enye ayifuni; okanye ukuba umyeni ucinga ukuba umfazi wakhe kufuneka anikezele umsebenzi kwaye azinikezele ekhaya kunye nabantwana, kwaye umfazi akavumelani naloo nto, ngoko ulwahlulo olunzulu luwenza ubudlelwane bunzima kakhulu.
9. Ukungabikho kobukhulu
Ukuba amaqabane angenanto into efanayo ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngokubambisana ngabantwana, imbono yokuhlala kunye ihlupheke kakhulu. Ngokuchasene noko, ukuba, ngaphezu kobonke abaqabane, umsebenzi odibeneyo uhambelana nemidlalo, abahlobo abaqhelekileyo, iimfuno ezidibeneyo okanye, umzekelo, inzala kwezopolitiko, zidibene nento enkulu kunokuba uxinzelelo lwangaphandle kunye neemfanelo.
10. Ukuzihlukanisa ngokwenyama kunye nomgama
Ukuba amaqabane awafunanga ukuthintana, abambisane ngesandla, okanye omnye udibanisa omnye, kwaye udidekile nangona ivumba lomlingane (khumbula inqaku elithi "Andikwazi ukuma umoya"), lo luphawu olufunekayo ukuba uluhlu.
Ukuba ngokukhawuleza kwiindawo ezininzi ezidwelisweyo uza kuba nempendulo engafanelekanga, kufuneka uqikelele ngokugqithiseleyo malunga nokuqhubela phambili kobudlelwane. Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba uthathe isinyathelo esinzulu, kufuneka uzibuze kwakhona: "Yintoni endiyenzile, senze ntoni ukugcina ubudlelwane bethu?" Yintoni endiyenzayo ukuze ndihlale? "