Kodwa musa ukuphepha ukuthandana kunye ne-polololotolko eyahlukileyo kuphela ngenxa yokwesaba ukukhohliswa. Okokuqala, kukufanele ukukhumbule ukuba nabaxoxwa ngamanga banganika iziqhelo ezikhethekileyo. Ezi zinto zincinci zigqityiwe kumzekeliso, ukuma kunye nokuzibonakalisa komntu omtsha. Kufanelekile ukuphawula ezinye zezi ngasentla, ukwenzela ukunciphisa amathuba okukhohliswa ubuncinci.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuba umntu, kuquka nabakhohlisi abanokwazi, bafihla ubuxoki babo, ngokuphindaphindiweyo banikwa "izibonakaliso zempawu ezingabonakaliyo." Ngoko, xa uthetha, xa umntu omncinci ephendula "ewe", kwaye ngelixa ekhanyela intloko yakhe ukusuka ecaleni ukuya kwelinye icala, ngokuqhelekileyo kubonisa ukuba ngumsindo, lo mqondiso ungabonakalisa uphawu olungabonakaliyo lokuba akavumelani. Kodwa ke, emva kokubona into enjalo, Kufanelekile ukukhawuleza kwi-soslovami entsha: "Mkhohlisi, ungumqambimanga, ungumqambimanga okhohlakeleyo!". Kubalulekile ukuhlakulela umbuzo, owakubonakala ngathi awuzange unikezwe impendulo enyanisekileyo, uze ugcine umyalelo we-interlocutor.
Omnye oqhelekileyo "ummakishi-umqambimanga" - xa umnxibelelwano echaphazela intonga yeempumlo, ngokubhekiselele oku kuthetha ukukhupha, ukuphucula ezinye iinyani, oko kukuthi, impendulo eyenziwe yinkwenkwe, inokuphazamisa into encinci. Oku kuqhutywa ngenxa yokuba isicu sempumlo siphelile.
Ngaloo mizuzu kubalulekile ukuba ungenzi nje ukuba unxibelelwano, ukuziphatha kwakhe, ukunyameka kunye nesibonakaliso saso "kuthunyiwe". Musa ukuma "kumphenyi omncinci" kwaye uphendule "ummangalelwa" wakho. Ukuziphatha okunjalo kungalumkisa kunye nokwahlukana nalo mfana kwaye ngokubanzi uya kumisa nayiphi na ingxoxo. Kungcono ukuxhasa incoko ebalulekileyo, kwaye khumbula nje ukungahambelani, baya kunceda ukwenza isigqibo sokugqibela malunga nolwazi olutsha.
Kodwa umzekelo, kukho imeko enje into yokuba intombazana engxoxweni inika umakishi omnye, kodwa kunye nayo yonke into iyinto efanelekileyo. Yintoni endiyayenza ntoni kule meko? Ngokuqinisekileyo, kukho "abanye ababalawuli bamanga."
Phenduka kumnxibelelwano. Ukuba umfana wabuzwa umbuzo, aze aphendule ngaphambi kokuba aphendule okanye aphendule ibhekise kwintombazana, kunokutsho ukuba impendulo yakhe yayingathethi, kwaye loo mdibaniselwano wayengakulungele ukuphendula umbuzo onjalo kwaye wayethuka. okanye umdluli, ukususa ifowuni yakhe epaketeni, umqambani onobuqili uye wafumana imizuzwana emibini ukuphendula. Ngamanye amaxesha abantu baziphatha ngale ndlela, kunzima ukulala.
Qaphela ukunyamekwa komnxibelelwano, ukuba xa uthetha incinci, ufuna ukuba uxoke, kwaye mhlawumbi uya kukhetha ukuvalwa, izandla okanye imilenze iyawela. bafanisa le miqondiso kunye nokulawulwa kwe-interlocutor yabo, nguwe.
Kuyathakazelisa, phakathi kwabantu abaninzi baninzi bafumana abo bazama ukuveza ubuxoki obungenakunyulwa, njengommiselo, aba banobuxoki baya kubalwa, bona ngokwabo sele bakholelwa ekuxokeleni kwabo, kodwa ke le ngcali zinikezelwa ngamehlo okanye ziguqula ububanzi bezingane.
Bonke aba bamakishi baya kunceda ukuba baqaphele umqambimanga kumfana ukuba kunjalo, kodwa akufanele uguqulele la manqaku kwinqanaba le-paranoia kwaye kuzo zonke iimeko zikhangele ubuxoki, kuba ngamanye amaxesha ukudibana okungahleliyo ebomini intombazana kunokunyamekela ubomi bakhe obonwabileyo kwimincili yintandane, njengowokungaqhelekanga!