Umzali ngamnye uhlala elindele ukukhathazeka xa umntwana efikelela kwiminyaka yokuguquka. Kwaye ukukhula rhoqo umntwana wakho kuza ngokungazelelwe. Kwiingxaki ezivela kubuhlobo phakathi kwabazali kunye nabantwana babo abakhulayo, unokubhala ukubhala okupheleleyo. Kodwa siza kugxininisa kuphela kwiingxaki ezisisiseko onokuzifumana xa uzama ukuvelisa ubudlelwane nomntwana wakho osemtsha.
Zama ukufunda okungakumbi malunga neminqweno, abahlobo bentombazana. Ukuqonda ukubaluleka kwabo kuye. Ukuba uzama ukubheka ukusuka ngaphandle ukuba indlela yokunxibelelana phakathi kwentsha kunye nabantu abadala kuqhubeka ngayo, kubonakala ngathi ngamnye wabo uthetha ulwimi oluthethiweyo, akanakwenzeka okanye akafuni ukukhangela imeko ngenye yesinye. Zama ukwamkela ukutshitshiswa kwentsha yakho, echazwe kwiinguqu ezingalindelekanga, ezingaqhelekanga kwimbono yabazali bezinto ezithandwayo zentombazana okanye intombazana, ukuziphatha okungahloneliyo kunye namazwi angaqhelekanga.
Kubalulekile ukubona indlela umntwana wakho akhule ngayo, ukukhawuleza ukuba utshintshe, ubuntu bakhe bukhule. Mhlawumbi usaphatha umntwana wakho omdala kunye neminyaka emihlanu edlulileyo, uzama ukufundisa nokulawula. Kwishumi elivisayo, kule minyaka emihlanu, kukho utshintsho oluthe lwabadala kumashumi eminyaka. Musa ukuzama ukugcina iindlela zokudala zemfundo - oku kuya kukulimaza wena kunye naye. Njalo khumbula ukuba intombazana inokuzama, ufumane iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokusebenzisana nawe. Kufuneka umxelele ngokuqinisekileyo oko kuvunyelwe, kwaye yimiphi imida ayinakuwela. Umntwana osemncinci uhlala elungele ukukuqonda ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba uyabahlonela.
Ukuqonda ubunzima obusenziwa ngumntwana osemtsha, kuba uzama ukukhula. Inkxaso. Ukuba ngumntwana osemncinci akulula. Ukugqithisa amandla, ekhulayo ngenxa yokukhula okukhulayo, elambile ukuzimela, elindele impumelelo enkulu ebomini, kamnandi nolonwabo, intombazana ithola indlela yakhe kweli hlabathi, idlula ngameva. Yaye ukuba ucinga ukuba izisombululo ezenziwe ngokulungelelweyo kunye neendlela zokuphila azibonakali, kulula ukuqonda ukuxhalaba okuvela enhliziyweni yomama xa ucinga ngonyana wakho okanye intombi yakho ekhula ngokukhawuleza. Kubalulekile ukuzama ukudala iimeko zokuphuhlisa ubuntu bomntwana wakho okhulayo. Kubalulekile ukumhlonela, ukuhlakulela isithunzi sakhe kuye, ngobumnene kwaye kungenakuphikelela ukunyusa ekukhethweni okunzima kwezikhokelo zobomi - konke oku kuya kubangela ukuphuhlisa ubuntu bakhe.
Nika umzekelo onobungozi: "Umntwana olungileyo ngumntwana ohlala ehlala ethobela njalo." Kungenza ukuba ulahlekelwe ukuqonda ngokuvisisana kunye nendodana okanye intombi yakho. Uphononongo lweengqondo zeengqondo zityhile umfanekiso onjalo wokuxabana phakathi kwabazali kunye nabantwana abaselula. Umgqugquzeli weengxabano uhlala "etyunjwe" intombazana - le ngcamango ikwabelwana ngabazali "abavukeli", kunye nootitshala bakhe, kwaye, ngokungaqhelekanga njengoko kubonakala ngathi, abantwana ngokwabo. Iintsholongwane zivakalelwa kukuba zinyanzeliswa ukuthobeka-kuzo zonke iimeko kufuneka zihlale 'zithobela.' Xa umntwana ekhathele ukuba netyala kunye nokuthobela, ufuna ukutshintsha isikhundla sakhe, abe "ngumvukeli." Abadala ngokuqhelekileyo kula maxesha baye kwi-psychologist, bavakala i-alamu. Nangona ingozi iqala xa ufuna umntwana ngokuyinhloko ukuthobela, xa eziva enetyala kwiimfazwe ezikhulayo, kunye nabantu abadala bathatha indawo yabatshutshisi.
Ungesabi ukunyaniseka kunye nentsha. Unokwazi ukufumana inkxaso, ukuqonda nokukuncedisa. Yamkela inkxaso yakhe, makabe nomusa, anqine. Impazamo enkulu yabantu abadala kukuba nokuba bazama ukuqonda abazali, basathatha indawo "ngaphezu" komntwana. Kodwa kulungile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba awuyi kuphinda ulahlekelwe ukuthembeka emehlweni abantwana bakho ukuba uthetha ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba awukwazi into okanye ukuba ubabonisa ukuba uyayiqonda kwaye uyabaxabisa nabo. Ngokomzekelo: "Kwakhona ndandethusa kakhulu" okanye "Ndiyazi ukuba ndiziva ndibi kangakanani xa uthetha ubuxoki." Iingcali kwiengqondo zezingane zifumanise ukuba abazali, bebona indlela abantwana babo bakhula ngayo, baninzi baqaphela ingqalelo kwizinto ezimbi: umntwana waba ngumsindo, wayeka ukuphulaphula, into efihlakele kubazali, njl. imiba yophuhliso lomntwana. Ngokomzekelo, ebusheni, abantwana banako ukuqonda abantu abadala, bafuna ukubanceda, ukuxhaswa kwiimeko ezinzima. Kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo abantu abadala abakulungele ukwamukela isimo sengqondo esinjalo kubo ukusuka kwicala lomntwana. Emva kwakho konke, ukuze ufike kule nto, kufuneka ube kunye nentombazana "ngokulinganayo." Ukuze umntwana wakho omdala abe nomusa, uqondisise, kufuneka umncede ukuba azibonakalise. Nawe kufuneka ufunde into ethile. Okokuqala, unganiki nje kuphela, kodwa ufune kwaye uyakwazi ukuthatha.
Xa usombulula iingxabano, ingxabano kunye nezinye iimeko ezinzima ebuhlotsheni bakho, into yokuqala eyokukunceda ukuthembela kunye nentlonipho. Iintshukumo zenza into enomdla kwabanye amava. Ngoko ke, ukuba unenkxalabo malunga nokuziphatha kwentombazana, ngoko ngokuqhelekileyo ekunxibelelana naye, akudingeki ukuba usebenzise ezinye iingcinga ezikhethekileyo, kodwa ingxoxo ephosakeleyo. Umzekelo, ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba kukho into engalunganga ngomntwana, kha thazeka ngayo, indlela efanelekileyo yokumnceda yena kunye nawe uya kuba yintetho oya kuqala ngokubonisa iimvakalelo zakho, umzekelo, njengolu hlobo: "Ndivakalelwa kukuba kukho into eyenzekayo kuwe, Ndixhalabele ngawe, uyintanda kakhulu kum, kwaye ndingathanda ukukunceda. Mhlawumbi sinokuyicombulula ingxaki kunye xa usitshela okwenzekayo. " Yile nyango kunye nokukhankanywa kwamava akho kuthathwa njengendlela efanelekileyo yokuthetha nentombazana. Ngenxa yokuba kule minyaka elukhuni, ukunyanzeliswa akuncedi.
Yilungiselele ukuba intombazana iya kuba nobomi bayo, engayi kubaxelela yona. Ungazami ukufumana zonke iinkcukacha engazange azigqibe. Musa ukujongana nokuhlambalaza kunye nomntwana kunye nendlela yakho yokubukela, njengokwenkcenkceshela kwifowuni okanye ukufunda i-diari yeselula. Ngokuncediswa kwezi ndlela, unokufezekisa izinto ezimbini kuphela: ngokupheleleyo okanye ulahlekelwe ngokufanelekileyo ngethemba lomntanakho kuwe kwaye umbonise umzekelo wesenzo esingathembekanga esinokukulandela: ungamangaliswa emva koko ukuba umntwana uselula kuwe. Indlela eyona nto yokuqonda intombazana ithembela kwingxoxo eyimfihlo, apho uthetha naye ngokulingana nawe. Uyayihlonela iimvakalelo zakhe kunye neengcamango, kodwa ngexesha elifanayo kufuneka umxelele ukuba iimfuno zakho nobomi bakho bufuna inhlonipho. Uya ku kholosa wena kuphela ukuba uthembekile kwaye uthembekile kuye.