Umzekelo uNombolo 1
Le nkwenkwe yayinomhla wokuzalwa, yaziwa kakuhle. Ingane yayineminyaka emihlanu kuphela. Ngomso olandelayo, abazali baqala ukuphawula ukuba xa umntwana ebabheka, uqala ukukhawuleza, kwaye iinkophe zakhe kunye nezikhangeli zixutywa. Kwiintsuku ezimbalwa kamva baqaphela ukuba umntwana wasala ngokulala, wagcina eqaqa kwaye ekhala ebuthongweni bakhe: "Wenzani na? Ngaba unamahloni? "
Emva kwesikhashana unyana waqala ukuziphatha ngokumangalisa, wayehlala ehamba emva komsila kamama, akazange amvumele ukuba ahambe naluphi na ekhaya, kwaye ukuba angena esitolo, wayeza kumbetha, akhwaze kwaye akhale. Umama wathatha iiholide wayehlala enomntwana, kodwa imeko yakhe ayizange iphucule. Ikhakiti ephazamisayo ithatha phezu kwezihlathi kunye nezandla zakhe, inkunzi yebhokhwe yayisoloko ibambe isibindi sayo, njengokungathi ufuna umntu ukuba anike. Abazali banquma ukubona ugqirha, owathi wamisela isigulane, ukulala kwakuqhelekileyo, kodwa iimpawu ezisele zihleli, ngoko zifake isicelo kwiinkonzo zentlalo yolwalamano lwabo.
Kwavela ukuba le nkwenkwe iyamzonda uyise, kodwa ayiyikuhlawula isizathu sokuba kwenzeke. Wayelokhu esho ukuba wayeyika ukuhlala yedwa kwaye wayeyika ukulahlekelwa ngumama wakhe. Inkwenkwe kwiminyaka yakhe emihlanu yathi inabesifazana, nantoni na eyenzekayo, kuba ayinakukhuseleka. Isigulane sasingenaso isimo sengqondo, kwaye wayenenkxalabo ngonina kwaye wayenemibuzo: "Pravdali ukuba amadoda anamandla kunabesifazane?". Ukufumana isizathu solu tshintsho lokuziphatha, abazali bathetha ukukhumbula oko kwenzeka ngomhla wokuzalwa komntwana. Umama wandibuza ixesha elide, waza wandixelela ukuba xa yena nomyeni wakhe behlala egumbini elingenanto, yena, nangona wayenxamnye naye, wamnyanzelisa ukuba abe nobuhlobo obusondeleyo. Emva koko, indoda yayishiya egumbini, kwaye umama waqala ukuhlaziya waza wabuzwa ngokukhawuleza ukukhala komntwana wakhe. Kwabonakala ukuba abantwana badlala baze bafune kunye nonyana befihla egumbini baze babone ngokubambisana konke okwenzekayo khona. Umama wenza sengathi akukho nto eyenzekayo, nangona wayekhathazekile kakhulu. Xa wandixelela ngale ndoda, bafika kwisigqibo sokuba babezenze ngathi akukho nto yenzekile.
I-psychologist eyaziwayo ithi loo nto ayiyi kuba naluphi na izifo, kodwa ngengomso ngengomso wayesele egula, wayenomdlavuza. Isiphumo kukuba inkwenkwe yabona ukumelana nonina ngexesha lesenzo sesondo. Ukubuyisela umntwana yayimimiselo, lo mpilo wayemele enze imizamo emininzi, kodwa ekupheleni kokuphela, ekugqibeleni waphinda wabuya.
Umzekelo uNombolo 2
Abazali baye baholela intombazana emine kwiminyaka emine kumgqirha ngezikhalazo, ukuba usebenza kwi-onanism. Ngaphandle, akuzange ihluke kwabanye abantwana, ngoko kwenzeka ntoni kuyo?
Kufuneka ukwazi ukuba intsana ayiyi kukuxelela izizathu, oogqirha bahlala bezijonga. Into ephambili ugqirha kukuba kufuneka aqonde imeko yokomoya yomntu. Intombazana yayinentloni, kodwa yayifuna ukuyala abanye. Wayefuna ukuba yinkokeli, kodwa kutheni? Ukuba umntwana wayenomdla olwabelwana naye, wuleza wakhawuleza ukukhala, kodwa kwenye imeko waqala ukucaphukisa izitho zangasese kwaye wayethanda, kwaye wayenza konke ixesha ngaphandle kokufihla, kodwa phambi kwamehlo kamama.
Sisiphi isizathu? Le ntombazana ayifumananga uthando oluthe lwabazali bakhe, ngoko wayefuna ukutsala ingqalelo ngeendlela zonke, kodwa wayengazi njani. Emva kokuba ebone indlela abazali abalalana ngayo, ngoko waqala ukulingisa abantu abadala, ukwenza i-masturbation. Intombazana yaphiliswa, kodwa ukuba ngaba abazali babeyinyameko, oku kwakungeke kwenzeke.
Ukuba umntwana wakho ubona into engavumelekanga okanye uya kuyibona yonke ixesha, ke kukho umngcipheko wokuba ukhule ulelekanga, okanye i-voobscheanyakom. Abanye bakholelwa ukuba bhetele xa umntwana ebona ubulili bobazali ngaphezu kweenhlazo zabo. Enye into yokuba umntwana ubona uyise engabonakaliyo, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo, umama akanalo noTata. Abantwana bahlala beziva bethengwa.
Sekunjalo, akufanele uvumele iimeko ezinjalo umntwana ukuba abe ngongqina ngolunye uhlobo lobuhlobo obusondeleyo phakathi kwakho.
Ukuba inkunzi iyakwakhe igumbi, oko kulungile, kodwa ukuba wayibona into ayengayifuni ukuyibona? Mhlawumbi uza kungena kwigumbi ngexesha lomgangatho ophezulu wokubilisa kwaye akayiqondi into, vele uvele uze ukhale okanye mhlawumbi uzive unyanisekileyo. Musa ukuvumela le meko ukuba ingabi nantoni, khawuleza uqinisekise umntwana, umqinisekise ukuba uthando lwakho ngaye aluzange luphele.
Ungakhathazeki kwaye ungalindelanga ukumemeza kumntwana. Kuye kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba kukho ubuso bakho ngomzuzu xa wangena kwigumbi waza wabona konke oku. Ingane inokucinga ukuba into embi neyikisayo yenzeke kwigumbi lokulala, ukuba kukho inzondo kunye nobushushu ebusweni bakho.
Unokuxelela umntwana ukuba wenza imidlalweni yezemidlalo, abantu ababini kuphela abanokwenza oko bathandanayo. Musa ukumxelela ukuba udlala. Kubantwana abancinci, umdlalo ungcwele yaye unokukuthiya ngenxa yokungabibizi kunye nawe.
Musa ukumemeza kwaye ungayikhubeli i-crumb ukusuka kwigumbi ngamagama: "Usencinane! Akukukhathaleli! ยป. Musa ukuzenza ngathi wenze ubugebengu.
Ukucacisa ngokucacileyo ukuba into eyona nto yinto engcono kakhulu eyenzeka kubantu abadala, mhlawumbi kubalulekile ukuthetha, ukuba xa ekhula, uya kwenza. Ungatsho ukuba umnike udade okanye umzalwana. Akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngento yokuba umntwana uphiliswa ukuba abantwana banxulumene nobudlelwane bezesondo.
Xa uneminyaka engama-2 ukuya kweyesi-3, abantwana bahlakulela iinqununu zesondo, le nkwenkwe ifuna ukubona indlela umama aza kuhlamba ngayo, kwaye intombazana ihlambela kwisitya kunye noyise. Kubantwana kubalulekile ukwazi ukungafani phakathi kwendoda engumntu kunye nomfazi.
Ukuba umntwana akakhuseli konke kwizinto zonke, iingxaki zivela emva koko. Ukuba ngokukhawuleza umntwana angena egumbini xa uphazamisa, awufanele umemele uze umxoshe ngaphandle, kodwa ukusuka kumncinci, umfundise, ngaphambi kokuba ungene kwigumbi kufuneka ugononise, ulinde kancane, ungene kwi-apom. Ukuba kude kube ngoku ungaqhelanga le nto, yenza njalo ngoku, ngaphambi kokukhawuleza ukulungisa imeko. Chaza kumntwana ngeli xesha elizayo, ngaphambi kokuba angene egumbini lokulala, makangqongqoze. Ukuba ufuna ukunciphisa umngcipheko wento engayiboni into ethile, faka ingcango emnyango okanye i-latch, kwaye ukuba ulala kwelinye igumbi, wabeka isikrini, oku kuya kunciphisa ubunzima beemeko ezingathandekiyo.
Kodwa nangona uloyiko lokuba umntwana uya kukubona, ungayishiyi i-cutoff, qaphela nje-yenzeni kwisitya xa unomntwana ugogo okanye uhamba egcekeni.